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-   -   is he bored? (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/sexual-health-general/550675-he-bored.html)

mollypolly07 11-06-2007 03:15 PM

is he bored?
 
my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years now. we have had sex for about 2 1/2 years of that time. up until about 4 months ago, we always had fun. trying different positions, just experimenting and stuff. but for the past 4 months, he just climbs on top, and just when I'm about to switch it up, it's done. I have tried everything I can think of to try to make it more interesting. I have bought sexy lingerie, a game, I even bought him 2 coupon books, both of which I haven't seen since I gave them to him. I tried talking to him about it, I asked him if he was bored, and all he said was no of course not. I don't know if I believe this. I don't want to make him feel bad, but the foreplay lasts about a minute, and the actual intercourse is never more than 5 minutes! I don't know what to do... any advice would be great!!

try-ink 11-06-2007 07:41 PM

Re: is he bored?
 
I don't think he is bored with you. There could be a lot of reasons. Sometimes, you just gotta speak up!

Tell him your needs, and ask him what he likes. If talking is not in the picture..How about leaving him sexy phone messages. Have you done, that already?

chevyman 11-06-2007 08:18 PM

Re: is he bored?
 
Sometimes in a recent realtionship or even a long one like yours, some times us guys just get tired and stressed out work related or other things besides the bedroom, and we get greedy selfesh and want to just please ourselfs and not care one way or the other bout our partner g/f or other half, your b/f needs a wake up call...cut him off for a while and make him come to you....longer forplay and then you decide if he gets any or not.
thats what my g/f does to me and it works.

mollypolly07 11-06-2007 08:47 PM

Re: is he bored?
 
I have tried to send him sexy text messages. He doesn't respond. I don't know why this is, but I will definitely try cutting him off, that should help him get the picture. Thanks for the advice!

hairier yet.. 11-06-2007 10:31 PM

Re: is he bored? a guys perspective would be great
 
Very common thing for a couple that's been having regular sex for a while. Same principal as the new wearing off of a new car.

Gosh, I don't know, maybe try abstaining for a while longer. Let your urges build and get intense before each encounter. I always hated what I call a weak orgasm, that is the feeling of satisfying the tiniest sexual twinge, like on and off in five minutes as you said. Most couples get in ruts at times. Good foreplay is a must for good sex too..

Talk it over. Sex surely doesn't need to get boring. Bad thing is sometimes it does.

Best of luck!

-h

flinch 11-07-2007 09:55 AM

Re: is he bored?
 
Has any change happened in his life he's having to adapt to? stress or the mind being occupied with other things is a huge factor in libedo. Try being affectionate and teasing but not actually giving him sex, or starting things off in a place where it's impossible to do more than foreplay.

tUrRrRa 11-08-2007 11:13 AM

Re: is he bored?
 
I agree that it may just be that it's not a new relationship anymore... not that he is bored or anything, but he has made it more of a routine. Some guys don't pick up on the little hints we give... I find that sometimes you have to straight out say what you want... because what might sound clear to you may not be the same for him! So maybe you can suggest trying a particular position you wanted to try out or something similar like that... just be straight forward and tell him what is on your mind. Remember that it's okay for YOU to take control as well! I know a lot of ladies aren't the dominant ones in bed, but most guys really enjoy it when a woman takes charge. Maybe you can climb on HIM before he gets a chance to start up his usual routine. Good luck!

romanum56 11-08-2007 01:13 PM

Re: is he bored?
 
[QUOTE=mollypolly07;3294488]my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years now. we have had sex for about 2 1/2 years of that time. up until about 4 months ago, we always had fun. trying different positions, just experimenting and stuff. but for the past 4 months, he just climbs on top, and just when I'm about to switch it up, it's done. I have tried everything I can think of to try to make it more interesting. I have bought sexy lingerie, a game, I even bought him 2 coupon books, both of which I haven't seen since I gave them to him. I tried talking to him about it, I asked him if he was bored, and all he said was no of course not. I don't know if I believe this. I don't want to make him feel bad, but the foreplay lasts about a minute, and the actual intercourse is never more than 5 minutes! I don't know what to do... any advice would be great!![/QUOTE]

Just let him do what he wants. He sounds like he wants to dominate, thats understandable. If you say hes coming too fast he probably already knows that and telling him would just make him mad. Im sure hes working on it.
GL.

flinch 11-08-2007 02:13 PM

Re: is he bored?
 
[QUOTE]Just let him do what he wants.[/QUOTE]

No way, if you're not getting anything out of it then it's not fair on you. We're not in the dark ages where the idea of women enjoying sex was unthinkable, it's supposed to be an equal thing especially in a relationship.

[QUOTE]He sounds like he wants to dominate, thats understandable.[/QUOTE]

Not to get into a BDSM discussion, but two golden rules:
1. When you're in a dominating position it's because you've both agreed and understood this - consensual is key
2. It's the dominant persons responsability to ensure the sumbissive has their sexual needs met

There's being dominating and there's being self centred about ones own sexual needs while ignoring someone elses. Men have got away with far too much in the name of being dominating, and if you need something else then you have every right to say so, and he ought to be man enough to take it.

Vegas74 11-12-2007 09:50 AM

Re: is he bored?
 
i'm 40 and have been in alot of relationships, and it sounds like he is getting board, it happens too me. Sometimes in a year or less other relationships it lasted for 3 years but at some point I get board. Personally I have found the solution my wife is Bi so I get new girls and her, I am 100% commited to her and we dont get board together often but when we do we find another girl, we dont do it often-were not swingers. Guys tend to get board i have noticed and I dont know why...it puts girls through hell.


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