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Old 12-30-2007, 10:28 AM   #1
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Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

My wife has been wanting less and less sex as the years go by. It's now down to 2 times a month. I am looking into something to suppress my sex drive so I'm not frustrated all the time. I think lack of sex is the #1 reason why men cheat on there wives. I do a lot for my wife and I think it's just plain selfish that she wont take care of my needs.My needs are simple and a handjob would satisfy me just fine. I understand that women have cramps and discomfort in their private part area and they don't want their bones jumped all the time.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 12-30-2007 at 04:13 PM. Reason: Please do not revive old threads. Your post has been move to start a new question on the General Sexual Health board.

 
Old 12-30-2007, 06:06 PM   #2
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

Oh Maxwell, how I feel your troubles!!!
We have the same problem, just in the reversed gender.

Go see a herbalist! Not a doctor! They will give anti depressants and all kinds of crap that will not help her at all. Herbs are very very effective for sexual disorders or hormonal disorders, which is could be possible in the case of your wife. You can even research it online and find some leads on some good products. Buyer beware as always, because there's so illegitimate products out there that promise you the world but don't deliver much.

If she's willing to be treated for this, then you should be ok, but the problem is always to convince the other person that it's not normal to have low sex drive and it's not fair to the other person. For some reason, that it really hard to understand for someone with low sex drive (except myself, I had low sex drive for a split minute and freaked out and took some herbs to regulate the problem. It worked well for me! Problem was, I was concerned about fixinf my sex drive for someone who has absolutely no interest in sex, so sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have just left it alone).

Sex is so good and healthy for you! Why would someone ruin that part of their relationship, I don't know! It's not all about sex, but when sex is freely explored between partners, I'm sure it could be great (but I don't know for myself because I was never given a chance at exploring and offering myself to someone with the same point of view).

Well Maxwell, I hope you and your wife can work through this. The hardest part would be to get her to understand how it feels to be in your shoes, which is impossible because she's thinking opposite of you right now. Maybe there's some deep underlying cause as to why she became inhibited. Maybe go to a few counselling session would be beneficial, even though it's costly, it's a good investment to get the dirt out in the open and just deal with it once and for all, instead of letting it destroy a part of the relationship that you clearly value. I don't know if you have kids, but a lot of times, women will run into a period when things are just too stressful, there's too much to do, too many bills, doesn't get enough rest, family is stressing her out, job is stressing her out or maybe she doesn't sense gratitude from her husband for what she does for the home and the family. It happens quite often. Maybe she needs a vacation? Maybe you need to send her to a spa to get pampered and not have to worry about anything for a day or 2? Is she a smoker? She could be smoking too much if this is the case. Was there any illness, death or something really bad happening in the family? Even if it was a while ago, sometimes, we women have to push things under the rug for the sake of keeping it together and make sure we can still be there to feed the kids and keep the house clean. Maybe there's something that she hasn't had closure with? So many reasons could be.....

I hope you work this out and can have a good healthy life with your wife again. I don't wish sex starvation to my worst enemy (unless he's a sick pervert or pedophile or something). I feel what you're going through and you're not alone (even though I can't really relate to you being a man, I just know how it feels to have a sex drive going to waste!).

Best of luck and keep posting!

Why do you say that this is the reason why men cheat? Are you thinking on cheating? Please be honest with yourself about this. Cheating will only pull you both more apart and do nothing to solve the problem. I know how you feel and trust, at time, I felt like just going on ******* or something and just hook me up with a guy, but don't. After the fact, it becomes way more than just sex you turned to because your wife wouldn't do it. It can get ugly. Real ugly. Or you can just loose your wife altogether. Nothing good comes out of cheating, so if you have the intention of working things out with her, don't cheat. Keep coming here for support and vent like I do sometimes. I'm pretty sure the regulars of this board must think I'm a nutbag already, but that's ok, I vent and get it out and sometimes I will get responses that help me a little.
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Old 01-03-2008, 09:40 AM   #3
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

do what almost everyone does, when their partner has less of a sex drive than they do...masturbate. it's much simpler than altering your sex drive, and pleasurable to boot.

 
Old 01-04-2008, 05:58 PM   #4
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

I feel like such a guy! I'm always shocked when some of my friends only like to have sex a few times a year or so! I know I'm not like that way at all. When I have a tough day or feel stressed, I'd rather have sex than just sit around. Plus, studies show it improves your mood!

I'd not give up on more sex with your wife... maybe she is just tired and busy and isn't always in the mood. Maybe you can tease her a bit and try to get her to want more sex too. If all doesn't work, I agree that masturbating can help, or just try to keep busy so you aren't thinking about it as much. I know this is easier said than done! Good luck!

 
Old 01-05-2008, 09:31 PM   #5
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxwell77 View Post
My wife has been wanting less and less sex as the years go by. It's now down to 2 times a month. I am looking into something to suppress my sex drive so I'm not frustrated all the time. I think lack of sex is the #1 reason why men cheat on there wives. I do a lot for my wife and I think it's just plain selfish that she wont take care of my needs.My needs are simple and a handjob would satisfy me just fine. I understand that women have cramps and discomfort in their private part area and they don't want their bones jumped all the time.
Hi Maxwell,
Try Vitex Chasteberry if you want to kill your libido.

Monks used it to *decrease* their libidos. At first it increases it to an almost unbelievable level but then, with further usage, decreases it.

Please allow me to relate my experience.
I am coming off a 2 month stint with Vitex Chasteberry used to lower my Estrogen and increase libido. I first used it 225mg 2x day with meals and after the 1st 3 days had more libido than I did as a teen. Sexual thoughts were constant and erections were not only frequent but superior quality. Semen volume even increased a bit. I believe it also has a dopamine affect.

This all wore off after another week. I believe it temporarily increases your LH production but then your body senses too much and decreases production, thereby lowering your testosterone level as well as your libido. That is why body builders that use it have to cycle it. So, if you don't cycle, after the initial jump in hormones, it will balance out and your should lose your libido. I believe it also infulences your prolactin level. I would imagine that when you stop it, you will get your libido back again, should you so desire.

Bottom line is that I believe this will temporarily reduce your sex drive *however* at first it will raise you sex drive to levels you may feel are not humanly possible (seriously!). In your situation that will probably mean a great deal of masturbation until your system senses the extra hormones and then shuts down your own body's production of them. I hope this helps for a temporary solution.

 
Old 01-06-2008, 10:56 AM   #6
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

I've heard of Saw Palmetto extract decreasing libido. It's actually taken by men with prostate problems.

 
Old 01-07-2008, 09:44 AM   #7
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

Wow, I am not sure that I would be willing to do that for my spouse. I would prefer to work through the issues either medically or mentally. I will give you props for being willing to do that for her.

 
Old 01-29-2008, 01:01 AM   #8
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Thumbs up Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

I've read all of the posts about this, and I can't find a solution that fits me! I'm not in a relationship right now, so no sexual partner. My sex drive is through the roof!!

I'm in my 30's and had a hysterectomy a couple years ago (have one ovary left). I've had sex since the surgery and everything works fine. I've always enjoyed sex a lot, but this is ridiculous! It's insatiable! I have no problem masturbating to "satisfaction" point, but that does not get rid of the raw drive, hunger, desire, or intense craving (whatever you want to call it)! I feel like some kind of animal. I feel like Dracula must feel if he craves blood, except he's out on the prowl for blood, and I don't go out looking for guys purely to have sex with them. Even though I'm a "good Christian woman" and the thought of me doing it is not pleasant, I've even thought of prostitution! I have fantasies during the day about men I meet around town. But even if I were able to have sex all day with my significant other, I'd run out of steam before my body would be satisfied! Right now it's about 4am and it's all I can think about! If masturbating got rid of this problem I'd be fine by now and sleeping. I go through lots of C-batteries, so many that I now get them at the wholesale club here. My roommates must think I burn flashlights all night long, or maybe they know the truth, but I don't care. But I can't masturbate forever. After a while it becomes uncomfortable "down there", so what do you do about it? It doesn't help long term for me to keep masturbating. Any ideas?

Last edited by nomoreeggshells; 01-29-2008 at 01:04 AM.

 
Old 02-02-2008, 06:40 PM   #9
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by nomoreeggshells View Post
I've read all of the posts about this, and I can't find a solution that fits me! I'm not in a relationship right now, so no sexual partner. My sex drive is through the roof!!

I'm in my 30's and had a hysterectomy a couple years ago (have one ovary left). I've had sex since the surgery and everything works fine. I've always enjoyed sex a lot, but this is ridiculous! It's insatiable! I have no problem masturbating to "satisfaction" point, but that does not get rid of the raw drive, hunger, desire, or intense craving (whatever you want to call it)! I feel like some kind of animal. I feel like Dracula must feel if he craves blood, except he's out on the prowl for blood, and I don't go out looking for guys purely to have sex with them. Even though I'm a "good Christian woman" and the thought of me doing it is not pleasant, I've even thought of prostitution! I have fantasies during the day about men I meet around town. But even if I were able to have sex all day with my significant other, I'd run out of steam before my body would be satisfied! Right now it's about 4am and it's all I can think about! If masturbating got rid of this problem I'd be fine by now and sleeping. I go through lots of C-batteries, so many that I now get them at the wholesale club here. My roommates must think I burn flashlights all night long, or maybe they know the truth, but I don't care. But I can't masturbate forever. After a while it becomes uncomfortable "down there", so what do you do about it? It doesn't help long term for me to keep masturbating. Any ideas?
Vitex will work for women by normalizing their hormones. You may wish to give it at least a few week's try. If that does not work I recommend consulting a physician.

 
Old 02-05-2008, 07:28 AM   #10
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Re: Frustration: How do I temporarily reduce my sex drive

Masturbation has always been a mans best friend! You're not alone, alot of men are going through this with their wives/girl friends. For what ever reason, we all share your pain! And Lord help us men, who wives are going thru menopause!! Long story short, you get better aquainted with your little friend in you pants.LOL.. But it's all good! for one, you remain faithful to your wife,showing her that you're not a impatient pig, and you can expierment with new ways to please yourself!

 
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