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Old 01-18-2008, 08:33 AM   #1
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Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

 
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Old 01-18-2008, 09:52 AM   #2
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

First, does he realize that he is addicted to porn? With any habit, smoking, eating, drinking, etc. The person has to realize that they have a problem. If he doesn't feel like he has a problem, theres not a whole lot that you can do!
You can talk to him about it. Let him know that you're not pleased with the time he's spending on porn. If he loves and respects you, he will compromise, work with you to come up with a solution! Some women doesn't have a problem with their husbands watching porn, but many do. Is this something that's worth seporating over? It very well might be. If he's an attict, like any other attict, this could break up your happy home. Only choices you should give him is to get some help.

 
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Old 01-18-2008, 10:02 AM   #3
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

i'd go to a divorce lawyer

 
Old 01-22-2008, 04:26 PM   #4
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by RICKY48 View Post
Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn
Hi im having the same problem with my fiancee??? he spends more time on that computer then anything. as soon as im out the door he is logging on.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-23-2008 at 08:22 AM. Reason: Please let the original poster have her question answered here.

 
Old 01-23-2008, 03:14 PM   #5
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

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Originally Posted by RICKY48 View Post
Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn
you have to say how he is addicted. An addiction would mean he ignores sex with you and would avoid social things with the family to just go watch porn. Thats an addiction.

Now if he is just watching for a couple of hours a day before bed and not avoiding your or family functions he may jsut be doing it to relax or destress himself. I go to the gym nearly everyday thats how i come down off the stress of the workday. Its not an addiction. I got a buddy who destresses by getting on line and chatting over the net. He does it everyday.

So what I'm saying is addiction is a strong word and you need to really look at the actions. not just he looks at porn and I dont like it because he could be spending that time on the couch with me watching tv. hes an addict. Following that logic he can say your a TV addict. (not saying yrou are just as an example)

Last edited by moderator2; 01-23-2008 at 04:33 PM. Reason: posted commercial websites

 
Old 01-26-2008, 09:05 PM   #6
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

Well, not all will agree, but.....I confronted him on it.. it would be all over my computer after I came back from vacation or traveling. Actually, I wouldnt have ANY computer history. I made him leave for the weekend, told him to figure out why he did it and told him if he loved me, then he would come back Monday and talk about it... I told him how it made me feel, and then... I went and bought my own computer... and made him pay for it. One day he came home and I had my hot pink 3000 dollar laptop! I told him that since he wanted to look at Porn, he had his own computer to do it on!!! He hasn't looked at it since.. it is sort of like the secrecy of doing it was what turned him on, and now that I know and have my own laptop, the "fun" has gone out of it. That, and I have made a bigger effort to instigate sex... but I am also four months prego..... so I am always ready to go!!! Just confront him and tell him how it makes you feel. some guys just don't see the trouble or problem with it until they realize how much it is hurting you! Hope this helps!!!

 
Old 01-26-2008, 09:57 PM   #7
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

I had the same problem. Before me and my fiance got together he had an internet relationship with a girl on a porn site. it was one of those sites that girls sit in front of a camera and do what you ask. Well he built an online relationship with her. After we got together i was the one with the computer and he started going on all these sites. At first, the only reason i was upset was because my computer's preformance was being slowed and i got a virus from his actions [thats how i found out in the first place]. Then when he told me about the girl, i had a problem because of the problems i already stated AND because not i felt like i was competing. Then, i told him how i felt. I felt compelled to check up on him. I always knew when he was lieing and he always deleted the history. It was still a problem. Then, he lied. I confronted him time and time again and his reason for doing it was "when he was younger it was tabu, half of the reason is because it is forbidden" like the post below says. It was really getting to me, i felt like he was choosing something else over me. Then, in one motion, it is like he understood what it meant to me for him to stop. I still felt compelled to put a keylogger on the computer. I decided that if he was going to continue choose something else over me, then i wanted to know, because that meant i needed to make a choice too. Since then he has "relapsed" a few times. I dont even chack anymore. Why do guys feel they need this??? It makes me feel like I am not good enough and i know thats not true.

 
Old 01-27-2008, 02:23 PM   #8
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

I think there is a lot of pressure for men to be men and to enjoy looking at these unobtainable women and fantasizing about them. A lot of guy friends of mine feel a guy is somehow not quite right if he doesn't look at porn, or take care of himself - whether or not he has a loving and sexual relationship with someone else or not. In today's culture a lot younger girls feel the same way about owning and using a vibrator - there's nothing wrong anymore with acknowledging the fact you're feeling the urge and doing something about it yourself if it's inappropriate to fulfill it with a partner.
I do agree, addict is a very strong word, I don't personally don't think a guy who supplements his relationship with porn is anything unusual or harmful, so long as he is aware of what he is doing - the fact that it is just a form of visual stimulation, and not something he should expect in real life. Essentially if he understands the priority level it should have and keeps to that then it's not a problem for him. If it's the partner that has a problem with it then it's the partners responsibility to accept they have a problem, find a mature way t deal with it, communicate their feelings and it's both parties task to come to a mutual compromise.
It's all very well to say if he's in a healthy relationship he shouldn't care about porn, but is a healthy relationship one where you go behind his back, invade his privacy and monitor his movements? Also there are many times when using porn as an outlet is a better option than trying to realise a feeling in a more concrete way.

 
Old 01-31-2008, 08:39 PM   #9
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

You don't need to go anywhere.

He needs to admit to himself that he has a problem and get help.

If he won't do that, there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry, but there's really nothing you can do if he won't get help for himself. You can't even get him for him on his behalf. No one will let you do that. I've been there and I'm out because I thought I could at least get him to understand that he needed help and even if agreed and would start the process, he would never follow through.

If he commits to his recovery and takes responsibility for his action and realizes that he has hurt you, it may be different. I wouldn't know because it wasn't like that for me. But I can tell you that I thought it was and I always ended up being wrong.

If he's not trying to help himself already, for the sake of his relationship, then I would go....away! Go and make yourself available to someone who can be exclusively intimate with you and respect your wishes. Go and start a new life and be happy, because it could potentially only go in a downward spiral from there.

I'm truly speaking of going through this not once, but twice!

It's a horrible situation to go through, if he's not willing to help himself, save yourself. That's the only place you can go from there.

Love, all the best and be strong. You'll love yourself for it later. Trust me!

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Old 04-13-2008, 10:40 AM   #10
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Re: Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by RICKY48 View Post
Where Do You Go If Your Husbands Addicted To Internet Porn

Go out on some dates. This will spark his interest and jealousy. I was addicted to porn. It took a long time to get over it. It was when I found out she was with another man that it changed. Also, the longer I don't look at porn, the more I'm all over her. Hence the more sex I get. Let him know your feeling neglected and you'll get it somewhere else if need be.

 
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