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Old 02-29-2008, 02:39 PM   #1
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fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

help please im engaged to a lovely younger man put he has probs in the bedroom he has never given me oral i do for him all the time and he cannot orgasm either its very frustrating his idea of passion is to tie me up with tights gag me blindfold me and enter me for few mins the pull out ive tried to talk to hi m but he changes the subject or sulks i love him but im frustrated help

 
Old 03-01-2008, 01:54 PM   #2
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

I didn't like giving oral sex much to my first wife when in my 20s. It had nothing to do with her. After my divorce, I decided to make myself suffer through doing it and make sure that I made my first girlfriend happy. I quickly realized that I loved the orgasms that it gave her and in just a few dates would rather give her oral then receive and have felt that way ever since. I don't know what to tell you to change him. I just wanted to show that there is hope, as I changed completely on my enjoyment of that.

As far as him not having an orgasm, there is either a physical problem or a psychological problem. You don't give enough info to allow anyone to tell and I am not at all qualified to guess even if you did. My first suggestion is to have him see a doctor to determine if there is a physical problem. If there is not, then you both need to get some counseling. Not that you need it, but it would be easier for him to get help if you are there with him.

 
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Old 03-01-2008, 07:08 PM   #3
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

Maybe he masterbates so much that when it comes to sex w/ a live person, he just can not perfrorm. As far as the oral, I would not be happy w/ a guy who did not do this once in awhile. Maybe he just does not know what he is doing and is nervous. Either way, I am sorry to hear of such troubles and hope you can get some answers.

 
Old 03-02-2008, 04:20 PM   #4
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

He is selfish if he refuses to give you oral but yet, you give him oral.

Refuse to give him oral unless he gives it to you.

Marrying this guy will not improve your sex life. You need to work these things out before you walk down the isle. If he won't talk to you about sex, then you have some big problems. You should be able to communicate anything. I can't imagine being with someone who isn't willing to do what I like.

 
Old 03-03-2008, 01:17 AM   #5
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

thanks for advice i have tried to talk to him he always changes the subect we dnt even have a passionate kiss def no french kisses says he doesnt like tongues but he likes me to go down on him! i trying undertand he did admit he has only ever had an orgasm with his hand whn he met me he told me i was his first serious relatioship in 10 yrs and that lasy he was engaed to fo4 yrs left him they never had sex i dnt know if that is the cause so he used his hand I did try and talk to him he just said if your not happy with the way i make love then i wnt bother anymore and i will sleep i spare room how can i answer that? i was in tears he can me so cold i asked for a cuddle and he pushed me away and said leave me alone he really does sulk his lip was so far on the floor he asted about 14 not 32 i do love him he is just so insecure and its always the same postiosn too his on top what can i do? im tip toeing around him here

 
Old 03-03-2008, 05:04 AM   #6
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

Eh I don't think there is much you can do, he is a little boy stuck in a big man body. He doesn't sound like he is really even ready to be in a relationship, let alone please a woman. I would not marry a "man" like that, but that's just my advice. There are a lot of fishies in the sea.

 
Old 03-03-2008, 05:57 AM   #7
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

Yep, just like Leaf said, he is a big baby. I would demand counseling and if he refuses, then leave. You don't want to marry someone like this. If you can't work out your sex problems, you are going to have many more problems down the road.

 
Old 03-03-2008, 10:54 AM   #8
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

don't marry him unless you want to settle for a miserable, passionless, sad sad life....

 
Old 03-03-2008, 01:26 PM   #9
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

has no-one noticed she's very obviously dating a guy who wants to be a dominatrix? the gag, the blindfold, the control of her pleasure? thats a really horrible thing to do to someone without their consent, and he's probably just hoping you'll eventually play along with it so he can indulge this fetish of his. play like that is fine but not when one person doesn't agree to it. sit him down and give him a stern talk, sex is not all for him, and you should never do that sort of thing to a person without telling them and making sure they can enjoy it too.

 
Old 03-13-2008, 01:23 AM   #10
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Re: fiance never gives me oral and no orgasm either

I agree, his sexual thing is BDSM and he likely gets off on control while seeing you helpless. The only thing is that the bondage gear is not your thing so you are not enjoying it and he picks up on your 'non-enjoyment' and therefore cannot enjoy it himself. I think if you were submissive and enjoyed being bound, gagged, possibly punished and even begged him for it he would be ******* like there was no tomorrow and you would likely see an entirely whole other side to him.

You ought to sit down and have a frank discussion with him, but i wouldn't go accusing him of being a weirdo or he wont open up to an honest conversation about his sexual preference.

Many things turn on many people. Not everybody is your standard missionary, oral, girl on top type scenario. All kinds of things turn on certain people, from shoe fetishes, to peeing on someone to the bondage your guy likes.

This is very important to him and don't ever in your wildest dreams think you can change him. If you can't enjoy it, then best be honest about it and cut your losses as to some this isn't something minor and kinky, it can be an actual lifestyle. You need to be honest about your own personal likes/dislikes and what things you draw the line at sexually.

 
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