Re: whats going on with me
It could be a mixture of all of this. I know when I struggled with depression, or anytime I feel that way or very upset, I'm very sensitive and need a little extra love! She may not realize how she is coming off as and doesn't realize there is a difference. It could also be the pill. Not all women have a decrease in libido on the pill, but if it happened around that time, it's a definite possibility. With time, some people just get that way too when they are comfortable in the relationship. It doesn't mean they don't care for you, but they are just comfortable with you.
Agreeing on a place where the two of you can live is very important in a relationship and something that is a good idea to agree on if you want to spend your lives together. I know a couple who doesn't agree on all the big things: kids, sex, money, jobs, etc and they really struggle a lot. They have a lot of arguments and the man doesn't seem happy. Just keep on talking to her and hear her side of the story. Some people aren't happy living in one place forever. Maybe she really enjoyed it there, but would enjoy VISITING more than living there. It's something you two just have to talk about and find what is best for BOTH of you, not just her or just you. California is very expensive too in some areas, so there is a lot for you two to discuss.
It's normal for subjects like this to cause a strain on your sex life. Right now just try to have fun together! Do something special for her... like plan a romantic evening together. Even if you don't have sex, it's important to have some kind of romance going on! Plus, it can all lead to sex anyway! Just focus on keeping open conversation, listening to each other's feelings, and doing all you can for the relationship if she is the one. I know for me, if I'm feeling like I need more affection, if I just talk to my guy about it, sometimes it hurts his feelings or makes him feel not good enough. If I feel that way, now I just take things into my own hands and make more of an effort MYSELF and it works every time.