I'm not sure exactly where to post this, and I'm not too good at keeping things short and to the point, but hopefully I can get some advice here!....
I recently started seeing this guy. I'll admit - I met him online...actually through a post he made somewhere about having these tickets/reservations that he'd had for a couple months, but had stopped seeing the previous girl and needed someone to go or forfeit the plans. We had a great time that night, and when I contacted him to thank him again for a great time, he asked if I wanted to get together the following weekend.
So we did see each other again that weekend...and ended up sleeping together. Yes, pretty soon and no, I wasn't planning on it but when things turned that way, it just felt like the thing to do (not that I should
, but that I wanted to). We got together the weekend after that, and the same thing happened. Keep in mind that we weren't just hooking up and that was it, we did make other plans and went out to eat, went to see a band playing locally, etc.
We saw each other 4 times and slept together 3 of those times. And actually everything seemed to be going fine - we get along well, have fun together, etc. And seem to be pretty sexually compatible too. Except for one thing.
Each time we have had sex, I have gotten a tear. Not that big of a deal for me, honestly - it doesn't hurt during, only a little the next day or so. However, it bleeds - quite a lot - and that causes problems. The first time some got on the bed but luckily the stain came out...the next time we got towels, lol - it was a little weird but worked...and then the last time we got a towel but it still got everywhere. In fact it was the worst yet, and he tried throwing the sheets in the washer and it didn't come out, basically the bedding was ruined. I felt awful yet again - not that it's my fault, but still. I don't really know why it's happening - sure he's a little bigger than other guys I've been with, but I don't know that that's the problem. In any case, that night (which happened to be last Friday) he got really frustrated about it - of course I was too. The next day he called me and apologized for being upset, saying that he knew it wasn't like it was on purpose or anything...and that I was great and all that, and if I wanted to still get together from time to time and have a beer or whatever, then that was cool - but that we probably couldnt really pursue anything further between us.
Now - I haven't really mentioned this to my friends yet as I'm still sorting it out in my head, but I'm sure they'll all tell me to forget about him he's a - well, you know - for doing that, and obviously he was only after one thing if he's gonna drop me because of that. Which I kind of agree with....except that I think we're actually alike in many weird, hidden ways, and I really can see where he's coming from. I mean - sex is an important part of a relationship, so if there's problems from the get-go, that doesn't bode well. Right? It's making me mad because I was having a lot of fun, and have never torn like that before, and everything else was looking good...but now...nothing.
So I guess my question, after all that, is this: does his reaction sound rational? Should I really just forget about him (as much as I DON'T want to - even though we don't know each other all that
well)? Should I maybe try to explain what was going on? He doesn't actually know that I tore! I mean he knew I was bleeding and we wondered if it was because of his size, but once I was home and checked and saw a tear, I never actually explained that. I don't really know what to do and I don't know if that was a normal "guy" reaction or what. Would it be weird for me to call him and explain, and let him know there are things we can try and maybe avoid the bleeding? lol this is just a ridiculous situation. And to be honest, if all he was looking for was sex and that was why he broke things off (because there were problems with the sex) - well right now I am okay with that. I would be fine keeping things the way they were (although he kind of sounded like maybe he had been looking for it to turn into a real relationship when he broke it off). Hm. Guys, would you be weirded out if a girl had this issue and then tried to explain it to you and work things out?? Is it worth it? I don't know what to do!! I need some advice!
Sorry for the long post, and thanks for reading it all if you did!