It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - General Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-28-2008, 01:25 AM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 581
Baby_hands HB User
Anal Sex

Me and my fiance have on and off talked about trying anal sex and have just recently thought about it seriously, we just want to see what its like. We have a very close relationship and have been sexually active with one another for over a year.
This is kind of embarassing for both of us, but neither of us have ever had anal sex before and are unsure how to go about it! We know you need lubricant but..we're actually unsure where the anus is located lol I know that sounds crazy..

I feel very comfortable with him and likewise but admittedly we are both a bit nervous as well.

I am unsure how it will feel...at first the idea totally freaked me out mostly because I originally thought anal sex was something only homosexual couples did.

Can someone tell me how a couple of beginners can go about trying this?
__________________
Great beauty and virtue rarely dwell together.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-22-2008 at 10:50 AM. Reason: Survey question removed.

 
Old 06-28-2008, 07:23 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 5,391
Thisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB User
Re: Anal Sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_hands View Post
we're actually unsure where the anus is located lol I know that sounds crazy
No way! It's the hole you poop out of. Surely you know where that is, right? We can't give you how-tos here, but I think you're not at that stage yet anyway. You need to do some exploring in that area first and get comfortable with anal play. At least be sure where it is, lol. Good luck.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-11-2008, 12:25 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,987
Audrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB User
Re: Anal Sex

Ditto to Thisby's response.

Anal is not something you enter into with any wishy washy feelings. It's good that you guys talk about it and that also shows that the pair of you are open to 'other' things. This adds spice to your regular sexual routine.

I would take up Thisby's advice of 'experimenting' with anal play outside the anal area. Leave actual anal sex for when you know you really, really want it.

I had never had it until my current partner. I would never ever have considered it. My current partner asked whether i had done it and from that we used to discuss it from time to time. He never requested it of me. He said i would have to ask him for it as he wouldn't want to pressure me into anything. A couple of years must have passed until we finally did it.

You are right, loads of lube is required. You should also be very sexually aroused. It's best to be in a comfortable position and one where you can take charge until he is inside you, then both of you simply do whatever is comfortable and feels good for the both of you.

It's not just for homosexuals and infact there are homosexuals who do not even like anal. It's just a public misconception.

Just remember, if you are doing anal, stick to anal. Do not let him have sex with you vaginally straight after anal as the bacteria in the anal area can be trasferred to the vaginal area and it will cause infection.

 
Old 07-14-2008, 02:27 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
Posts: 144
jenuine86 HB User
Re: Anal Sex

I say go for it as long as you are both comfortable with it, you may be suprised with the pleasure you actually can get from it because it's a whole new stimulation, especially if you have him attend your your vaginal area as well.. there's always a huge question mark on this but a lot more people are getting more and more open to it because people who have tried it actually like it to their suprise
Don't rush into it though.. it will feel good to him no matter what but you'll feel quite different about the experience at FIRST.. so just take it easy, k?
have fun

 
Old 07-14-2008, 02:28 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
Posts: 144
jenuine86 HB User
Re: Anal Sex

PS
anal doesn't have to be so "dirty" either.. I thought of anal sex as my second virginity that only the most special man in the world could have.
so in a sense.. that was the biggest way I could tell him I love him because I would never let anyone else do that!

 
Old 07-16-2008, 01:13 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 5,193
tommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB User
Re: Anal Sex

It's best to let the woman control the penetration. That way, there is little to no pain involved...especially with enough foreplay and lubrication.

 
Old 07-21-2008, 11:00 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Colorado,
Posts: 289
Im_Robyn HB User
Re: Anal Sex

If you're seriously considering anal sex here are a few things to keep in mind:
1: It hurts REALLY bad!!! For me giving birth to naturally hurt less
2: Enjoy the constipation that will follow for a few days
3: It is dirty - literally. If you haven't cleaned out your system right before, he'll end up doing it for you.

I have not found any form of enjoyment from it, my fiancee loves it and only ended up getting it once from me, fortunitly he agreed that it's not worth the hysterical crying caused by the intense pain.

Then again I may just be way more sensitive than other people are, I know people that absolutely love it. I'm just not one of them.
__________________
Robyn

 
Old 07-22-2008, 09:34 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 5,193
tommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB User
Re: Anal Sex

This demonstrates lack of lubrication, lack of foreplay, lack of desire on your side, and lack of consideration on his part.
Any of these can be a deal breaker. All together sounds just awful.
My wife doesn't like it much either, which is why we don't do it often, but that is with positives, not the negatives above. Her penetrating me with a toy does not hurt.
I don't get a big bang out of it, but once in a while, it feels just right, in conjunction with something else stimulating.

 
Old 07-24-2008, 03:15 PM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,987
Audrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB User
Re: Anal Sex

Im Robyn - WOW sounds like you had a bad experience!! If done properly and done for the right reasons and having the female take control until the guy is 'in' it can be the most amazingly, mindblowing form of physical intimacy.

As it's not as easy as 'standard' sex and takes a little work and you have to do it with the 'right' person (and not everybody is cut out for it due to preconceived ideas or a bad experience), we then leave it as something random and don't 'plan' to do it. We only do it when we both feel it's right to do.

We have only done anal a handfull of times but have NEVER had an issue with any faeces coming out. If you are not having dramas with your bowel movements and nothing is wrong with your bowels and you eat your fibre you should not be having any faeces in that area that he would be entering. Something is not right if there was actual faeces. Are you certain you didn't panic during anal and actually have a partial bowel movement?

Anal wont be for everybody, just like certain other sexual things are not for everybody eg: oral and swallowing during oral. If you try it and don't like it for whatever reason then you partner should respect you or maybe the pair of you can reach a middle ground. Some who don't like actual anal penetration do like it when lube is used and there outter anal area is stimulated and some have then found that the stimulation was so good that they have ventured again (with more lube) to actually try actual anal sex again and have enjoyed it and have figured out where they went wrong during the first time they tried it.

 
Old 07-28-2008, 08:35 AM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Colorado,
Posts: 289
Im_Robyn HB User
Re: Anal Sex

I have actually tried it several times before with my ex-husband. No matter how much lube we used or how much time was spent preparing me for it it still just hurt a lot more than I thought it should. We tried several different positions and every time I was in control.

I have never had a problem with having an 'accident' I said that previously because my fiancee likes when I use toys on him and almost every time a little poo comes out and ends up on the toy. Which for me is a major deterrent.

The only time I have ever had anal sex and it not hurt beyond belief was when I was seriously drunk but I don't want to include drinking to our sexual events.
It's not just the intense pain it's the pressure as well that bothers me.

This is something that I really want to get into, hell, I have tried to so many times and now that I'm about to marry a man who loves it I want to share this with him but I just can't get over the fact that for me it really hurts. I'm sure we will try it again but not any time soon and definitely not before visiting a sex shop and picking up some desensitizing lube first.
__________________
Robyn

 
Old 07-30-2008, 03:17 PM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,987
Audrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB User
Re: Anal Sex

Feeling pressured into trying something is never a good idea. My partner had tried anal on a couple of occasions prior to meeting me and it wasnt even something we discussed at the start of the relationship, but much later. He made it quite clear that it was something he would never ever ask me to do and it was something i had to feel comfortable with and i should let him know when i wanted it. Knowing the pressure is off is very comforting. Knowing he would never hold it against me if i refused made me feel he loved me more than having anal.

As i said before, it's not something we even do regularly and out of the few times we've done it i've only had to tell him once that it hurt and i wanted to stop. All the other times were fantastic. We didn't even do anything different that one time, but it hurt a lot.

The times we have done it have not been planned ahead. It has to be one of those heated, spur of the moment times when everything feels intense, out of this world and you feel as though you are ready and willing for just about anything.

I still don't understand the faeces issue though. Maybe somebody else is more of an expert as to why that would have happened as we've not experienced that at this point. There was once an "anal" thread a long long time ago and somebody explained how the internals of the bowel/anal area work and after a bowel movment there is supposedly and upper area which closes off and there should be no faeces at all in the compartment just inside the anal opening.

I know it's your relationship and your choices, but from experience and from having read a tonne of posts over the years, be careful of just how much your guy wants anal. If it's something you can't end up doing due to constant pain or whatever else and he keeps persisting that he wants it or ends up making you feel bad that you cant do this one sexual act with him then i would question the relationshp. The amount of people who come to the boards complaining that their partner wont do oral, wont swallow, wont do this, wont do that is quite surprising and it often ends up with one partner feeling disastisfied with their sex life and the other partner feels bad that they can't give what is asked. So i'd be making certain with him that if he never gets anal from you, can he live with that for your entire married life.

 
Old 07-30-2008, 05:05 PM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,485
tUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB User
Re: Anal Sex

I've never tried it myself, but I've heard a mixture of experiences from friends. I've only heard of one very unlucky person who had quite a mess from anal sex. The others actually said it was very clean for them, but it did hurt or burn at least at first. I'd use lots of lube, a condom (especially just in case it ends up messy), and to take things VERY slow. Plus, you could always stop if it's too uncomfortable. Some people I know recommended this in the shower as well. I agree... just wait until you are sure this what you want to do! Give it some time and thought.

 
Old 08-08-2008, 01:43 PM   #13
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Littletown, U.S.A.
Posts: 18
wooten HB User
Re: Anal Sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by Im_Robyn View Post
If you're seriously considering anal sex here are a few things to keep in mind:
1: It hurts REALLY bad!!! For me giving birth to naturally hurt less
2: Enjoy the constipation that will follow for a few days
3: It is dirty - literally. If you haven't cleaned out your system right before, he'll end up doing it for you.

I have not found any form of enjoyment from it, my fiancee loves it and only ended up getting it once from me, fortunitly he agreed that it's not worth the hysterical crying caused by the intense pain.

Then again I may just be way more sensitive than other people are, I know people that absolutely love it. I'm just not one of them.
Women who make a practice of this art of love should be shown the rear end of a woman who has made this a practice for years...Believe me, it will turn her off...Many end up wearing diapers....But saying this I also understand that some women because of various medical reasons, are not able to have vaginal sex....This is their only means of satisfying their husbands...Just my thoughts on this and [deleted]

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-09-2008 at 12:13 AM. Reason: This is not a survey.

 
Old 08-14-2008, 09:03 PM   #14
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Thailand
Posts: 5
b1971 HB User
Re: Anal Sex

If done with good planning it can be great.
It's not for everyone so don't do it if you don't want.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-15-2008 at 08:43 AM. Reason: TMI/Survey-like response removed.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
still in pain from anal fissures Gondore Bowel Disorders 73 05-04-2010 02:14 PM
anal Feliciaxox Sexual Health - Women 2 06-08-2009 10:39 AM
Need Anal Sex Advice bigjohnny Sexual Health - General 3 03-25-2009 01:11 PM
anal sex and anal cancer? ghunt Sexual Health - General 4 02-24-2009 12:17 PM
Lesion/sore - anal area...how is this possible? CloudySkies Herpes 1 09-27-2006 06:13 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



lenvegas (12), rosequartz (8), writeleft (6), Kszan (5), solofelix (5), Tivo123 (4), ladybud (4), Titchou (4), Kali333 (4), captjane (4)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:28 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!