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Old 03-22-2009, 03:49 PM   #1
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what is wrong with my husband for not wanting sex

My husband and I have been married over a year and together almost 4years. We got married just before he got deployed to Iraq, he was gone for over a year and just got back we had great sex for a week and since then he just doesn't want it. Is it because of what he went through at war to why we can't be intimate?

 
Old 03-22-2009, 03:56 PM   #2
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Re: what is wrong with my husband for not wanting sex

I think that makes sense. what does he tell you. have you asked him about it? i think communication is important. if he has any post traumatic stress or depression it would lessen or destroy his libido. but this doesn't have to be a permanent situation if he gets some help.

talk.

 
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Old 03-22-2009, 03:59 PM   #3
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Re: what is wrong with my husband for not wanting sex

We have talked about it and he says there are times when I can't get close to you. We have a very open line of communication but sometimes we can cuddle on the couch and have those special alone times with each other but nothing more and he says he can't do it.

 
Old 03-22-2009, 09:29 PM   #4
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Re: what is wrong with my husband for not wanting sex

If you have good communication, why not just ask him? First, ask him is it you (which I'm sure isn't the problem) because that may be bothering you the most. He will probably say it's not you, so you ask him what is it then. Don't attack him, just make sure you he knows you are there for him and will understand it. Everyone deals with the stress differently, so this may be his way of dealing with it. However, you did say you had sex after he came from Iraq and then it just stopped. Weird...anyway just talk about it with him.

 
Old 03-23-2009, 07:33 PM   #5
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Re: what is wrong with my husband for not wanting sex

What he went through in the war probably can lessen the desire for sex. It is hard for the rest of us to even imagine what people go through when they are in war.
Why don't you ask your husband what the problem is?

 
Old 03-24-2009, 10:33 AM   #6
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Re: what is wrong with my husband for not wanting sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by heatsimpson View Post
We have talked about it and he says there are times when I can't get close to you. We have a very open line of communication but sometimes we can cuddle on the couch and have those special alone times with each other but nothing more and he says he can't do it.
I would suggest your giving him a good and long massage. And then it will be his turn to massage you.

I agree: it's somewhat weird. You say you had great sex after he came back home and then stop. Was it great per se (in itself), or was it great because it was basically a reconnection? Also, I find it strange that he can't have it at times. Unless he had a sexual trauma of some sort or he is really very tired or in poor health, a man will almost always want sex, and sex for a man is often a way of forgetting a problem or relaxing.

Is he sleeping well? Is his diet a good and healthy one? These two factors can also affect a man's libido.

Does he have friends? Does he go out with them? Have you ever talked to their wives? Do war tramas seem to affect these men, too? I think you have to talk to other women about this.

 
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