Hi reg12 - no problem, i just wanted to share some of the things i've found out about hormones and the way they affect both males and females, particularly females. These days there are way too many things in our society which affect hormones. Sadly a lot of doctors don't overly bother with this department. It's a case of either giving out birth control or antidepressants to fix problems or telling women they need a hysterectomy.
Hi pendulum - i do agree that a good diet, exercise and sleep are extremely important, but unfortunately there are too many health conditions which are on the rise today despite doing all the things you say in your post.
Incidences of autoimmune diseases, thyroid diseases and hormone imbalances are increasing at an alarming rate. These things can be managed, but doctors don't seem to have the time, knowledge or interest a lot of the time to go through men's and women's health issues and to get to the bottom of them. Most doctors look for a quick fix, wont listen to symptoms, rail road patients into taking the easiest option.
I'm fortunate to have found an excellent doctor who, even though his specialty is the thyroid, covers all bases from A - Z, is broadminded, willing to listen (even when i tell him about information from the net). I've also taken it onto myself to look for help eslewhere and i found help via a naturopath. This was prior to my thyroid doctor, but he's happy with what she is doing so he's told me to keep her and they work on my issues together.
I do understand that there are many and varied reasons for low libido. In today's society, where women are working at home and hold a full time job, raising children and doing a heap of other things, it's hard to have the energy or interest in sex in the evening when it's time for bed. It doesn't help that these days there are so many body issues. Young, healthy, sexy, airbrushed, computer shopped bodies are being thrown in our faces. If you don't look like this then you aren't good enough or aren't desirable enough. This can have a libido lowering effect on it's own.
I feel if these issues are the real issues and not hormone related, then both the man and the woman need to make changes, work out what's improtant, make time for each other and not just for sex, but for discussing how each other feels. When was the last time someone really cared or wanted to know how YOU feel? Women need this sometimes, just like they want to be complimented and to be made feel special. It's just a girl thing, but it touches the woman's "emotional" side. These days most guys will sit down on the sofa to watch TV or drink a beer, but try turning off the TV and just giving your girl a cuddle and asking her how she's feeling or how her day was. That can make a world of difference. It shows you see her as a human being and that you really care for her as your lover, friend and/or mother of your children. Not just someone you cuddle up to when you want sex. Or try making dinner together and use it as a 'communication' time to discuss your day, maybe give her a nice quick kiss on the cheek while she's washing the lettuce and leave it at that. She'll think you want to take it further and might brush you off, but if you show it was just a kiss, a sign of affection, she will secretly be impressed. You need to get her used to this type of treatment. It's more or less 'showing' she means something to you at other times, not just in bed during sex.
A lot of people in long term relationships have accumulated a lot of bad habits so it all comes down to a retraining issues. Most of it's common sense, but you need patients. If she is used to you going for the "grope" and intiating sex immediately, same time, same location, same way, no wonder she's not up for it, especially if she's tired and irritable. So learn new ways of getting what you want and this can only be done by being considerate and patient. Instead of sex one night, give her a massage after she's had a shower, but let her know there is no sex. You might have to go without sex for a little longer, but once you have her feeling secure in the fact that sex isn't at the end of every touch, kiss or bit of affection, she will see you in a new light, the way she likely saw you years ago.
Obviously most of the above would be for couples who feel too tired and don't care anymore as it's all too much bother.
Remember that hormone imbalances are a real thing and not a made up thing. Birth control can often have a lot to do with it in some cases. A lot of people are on the wrong type of birth control. Birth control also depletes women of a range of vitamins so they need to be on a multivitamin, especially B Vitamins and Vitamin C.
Most of this is geared towards the female, but it works in reverse for males, except for the birth control issue
So if your partner is snappy, irritable and doesn't want sex, you need to slowly, somehow, bring the topic of seeing a doctor and running some tests and hopefully she will agree and hopefully things will return to the way it was when your relationship was new.