so I basically had a question about the scandalous SEX ON THE FIRST DATE.
The first date was going extremely well, he took me out for sushi, good conversation, he's fun, laid back, has his life together, ambitious... he basically has a lot of qualities that I look for in a man.
After dinner we go to the liquor store and grab some beers and head back to his condo for some drinks while watching tv/a movie. we both have a couple of beers and during the movie he kisses me and then soon after picks me up and carries me into his bedroom. (totally sexy)
we engage in some foreplay and then goes to grab a condom. I hesitate, tell him that we shouldn't have sex, say no a few times but he's sly and sexy and basically disregards my refusal and gets me to change my mind...
the sex was intense. straight forward, aggressive, multiple positions... it was great. he was very much a receiver as far as foreplay went which raised a flag for me and we had sex twice.
I've never had sex on the first date before... actually, I usually wait about a month of dating someone before having sex with them. Our date was on Tuesday night and it's now Thursday and haven't heard from him. I've already convinced myself that I shouldn't expect to hear from him but I can't help but feel a little cheap and used... I guess I just wanted to hear some input from others (male&female). Was this totally wrong of me or should I just write it off as a good time? Does sex on the first date always mean it's just sex?
Been there, done that. I wouldn't look into it too much. If it was a great time, that is a GOOD thing...after all, it could have been horrible. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
You'll hear from him the next time he wants to have sex and doesn't have any other prospects. Say good-bye to this man and do better next time. Sex on the first date is usually the kiss of death.
Oh man, I've been there so many times,if the sex was good, he will definitely want to have sex with you again, but maybe not much else, just depends on what the chemistry was like, what you guys talked about, if you talked about what you wanted and what you were looking for. If you just had fun, drank and then had sex, mmmmm, it may not go much further unless you guys had some connection on a mental/spiritual/intellectual level in addition to the sex. Anything is possible. It was only one date so you can't be that attached anyway, he could be a total nut job, freak, loser, you don't know. Don't worry, just see what happens, send him an email or text and see if he responds, if not, move on.
It really does destroy your self esteem when a guy doesn't call after the big night. When this happened to me, I called him after 2 days and got told in no uncertain terms that it was HIS DECISION whether to call me...not the other way around. Jerk. Never heard from him again and I hurt for awhile but finally found a wonderful man. I waited until the 3rd date to seduce him and all is still great 5 months later.
I would say DEFINATELY do not have sex on the first date, nor the 2nd or 3rd. You dont know the other person at all. Sure, they may look good and all, but who knows how many people you will be having fun with when you have fun with him/her? I have dated a few girls who wished to as soon as we met. Well, I married one, but I made her wait 9 months before I would give in. As the saying goes, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free. I know things are alot different today, but you have to have respect for yourself first, and then you have to have respect for your play mate.
Chances are, he got his milk, he does not need to buy the cow until the other cows are dried up. Find yourself a good bull.
Done that and a relation started out of it. Thing was I had and have the same feeling as you describe,"but feel a little cheap and used...". The whole time I couldnt get rid of that feeling, even though he said, whats your problem I am here, isnt that proof enough. I recommend to write it off a good experience, but please protect yourself in the future from these feelings that you create for yourself, they are no good.
You never know how it will go. Some people have had sex on the first date and it ended in marriage, but i don't think too many do.
It's your choice to wait or do it on the first date. I still think doing it on the first date most often leads to disaster. If a guy can't wait a few dates to have sex then something is not right.
Some people simply dont care and they will use whoever, even if they see the person is after a serious relationship and not casual, they dont care. They will use them once and never get back to them. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of calling.
I see this thread is a few months old. I hope you have found someone worthy and special
why don't you phone him and ask straight out if hes interested and say be honest then he won't have you hanging like thread at least you will be able to go out and meet someone new who's into you and respects you with your decision's maybe he was married or had someone else waiting for him hope you get what you want to hear from this bloke but think he was after 1 thing sorry to say it
