It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - General Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-25-2003, 06:59 PM   #1
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
Newfie HB User
Question How to have sex, properly??

Been married for 2 months now, waited till we were married to have sex for the first time. So we're still relatively new at this. We've both had bad experiences with sex so far (ie. 3rd time after we were married my frenulum tore and blood was everywhere...not good, and sometimes when we have sex now my penis hits her cyrvix) What i really would like to know, is "does it get better?"!! ahah. I'd also like to hear from any women that have tips/opinions on what works for women and what doesn't. It's generally not a problem for me to get something out of the sex, but i want her to enjoy it also. We're tried missionary style and her on top, both work at times for both of us. Does it just take time??? Help please, experienced people can help us inexperienced to get through this time quicker!! Thanks for any help.

 
Old 10-25-2003, 08:58 PM   #2
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Kissimmee, FL
Posts: 34
mrmilan_pr HB User
Post

Newfie
Congratulations for your post. There are a few quantity of us who admit that wait until marriage to have sex. How old are you and your wife? I believe your problem is going to be fixed with more experience. For now, use sex time to learn and explore your bodies. The key is learning together. Anyway you want to make love, and that is part of a process.
__________________
mrmilan

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-26-2003, 03:50 AM   #3
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
Newfie HB User
Post

I'm 21, my wife is 22. We're very comfortable with each others bodies, this whole sex thing is just very new to us. We both assume things will get better with experience, but it's just a little frustrating when you've waiting a long time for sex, and turns out not to be the "huge" thing you thought it would be.....i blame the media...haha

 
Old 10-26-2003, 01:30 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,190
Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User
Post

It should get better. You are experimenting and finding out what works and what doesn't. That takes time. Like you say, sex in real life is not like it is in the movies. You might read a few sex-help manuals for advice. If you have any specific questions, come on back for help from the pros.

 
Old 10-28-2003, 10:42 AM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 135
Tree Hugger HB User
Post

dont worry Sex DOES get better!!
I too was very disapointed with it!!
But after oooo I dont know... many many times (maybe it was longer for me than most people) but after quite a few times it started getting better! Just keep experimenting and finding out what you two like!! It can be stressful but dont let that dampen your sexual life! Seriously, it gets way better then how it is at the beggining!!!
Sex is great... but like anything eles you have to work at it! You cant just pick up a guitar and suddenly be amazing!! IT takes work.. sex is a natural thing as far as reproducing go... and hey anyone (healthy and feritle) can reproduce.. but ENJOYING the act of it all takes some practice
good luck!

------------------
~~Eat an animal? I woud just as soon eat my own toe~~
__________________
The question is not, Can they reason? nor Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?

 
Old 10-28-2003, 08:58 PM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: West Chester Pa, USA
Posts: 71
elflike HB User
Post

As a female i can tell you it takes a lot of practice to get something out of sex. I was so lucky to have a very loving and giving man to lose my virginity with. He knew a lot more than i did, and he was very focused on figuring out what felt good for me. I commend you for wanting to make your wife feel as good as you do when you have sex. Some guys arent' as thoughtful, and they suck!!
It is also important to know your own body. I hope you don't get offended by this question, but does your wife masturbate? she needs to know what feels good to her. This will help the two of you know what to do to make her feel good.
As far as you hitting her cervix, this may stop happening, but it may not. You may just have to lighten up a bit or find a different position.
From a girls opinion sex does get better. I'll give you one more piece of advice. If you finish and she doesnt, you should always offer or try to do something else to get her off. However if it's just not going to happen for her, don't get ****** and frustrated. It is good to know that your partner cares about your pleasure, but if she is sexualy frustrated she doesn't need you having a pitty party for yourself because you couldn't make her *** . We hate this!
I Hope i helped at least a little. If you have any other questions feel free to ask. Im' not embarassed or shy to say anything.
Have a good one!

 
Old 10-29-2003, 05:31 PM   #7
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
Newfie HB User
Post

Thanks for the replies. MY wife is very understanding, and tells me (i'm pretty sure she's honest) that she enjoys the act even without an orgasm, since it was so long before we actually got to do it. We're working on it, and i'm sure things will get better. Different positions do help though, as we're finding out. Thanks again.

 
Old 11-03-2003, 10:14 AM   #8
Inactive
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: SD USA
Posts: 209
savysac HB User
my first time was incredible, everything went great, we both orgasmed and had an enjoyable time, of course, she was not a virgin, which helped. but do you want to know what helped even better? PORN lots and lots of porn, ilearned everything i need to know from porn.

I suggest getting a video and popping it in the old vcr in the bedroom and learn. sure, the production values arent the best, and the music is cheesy, but there is alot to learn from the actual act itself. there is a whole world of information out there that you can learn from.

 
Old 11-04-2003, 02:26 PM   #9
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 58
sikandar_bg HB User
Hey Newfie,
Whatever you do, DO NOT follow porn to make your sex life better. They make it look like a joke, but as you very well know it is not. You are making fine progress and soon you will have a rewarding sex life with your wife. Don't let porn ruin it.
Sikandar.

 
Old 11-05-2003, 03:14 AM   #10
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 12
puppylove HB User
just spend alot of TIME. there is no need to rush it. take time to just explore EVERY part of eachother's bodies. feel her all over and see how she responds. make sure she is always RELAXED. as someone else mentioned, if you're hitting her cervix just lighten up a bit. you dont have to "do it" at the same pace the whole time. try mixing it up a little.

 
Old 11-12-2003, 07:20 PM   #11
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
Newfie HB User
sikandar_bg - don't worry, i know that porn would not help us at all. It gives you a completely altered view of what real sex is (at least what it is with your wife - the woman you love and want to spend your life with). We're still having troubles, but also great times, so it tends to balance.

Again, i appreciate everyones comments and opinions and hope there will be more. What are some positions that would be most stimulating for the woman, and still be feasable for me (an amateur) to accomplish. thanks for any further advice.

 
Old 11-12-2003, 08:46 PM   #12
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Houston, TX, USA
Posts: 41
SarahSue HB User
Newfire, I too am one of the few that waited until I was married to have sex. I have been married for about a year now and it is just starting to get better. I had the same problem with the cervix. My advice is lots of foreplay. When the female body gets aroused, physical changes take place. The cervix moves to allow more room for the penis. I also tried placing a small pillow under my back which helped a little. May I suggest a book for you? It is called The Gift of Sex by Penner. My hubby and I went to pre-marital counseling and they suggested this book. Lots of good info in it.

Oh, and did I forget.... use lube! Lots and lots of lube!

Sarah

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
how to pee properly without exposing my penis to others. x147258 Sexual Health - Men 3 03-14-2009 04:12 AM
Does my apartment have any symptoms of mold? bignosycat Environmental Disorders 11 02-13-2009 08:59 AM
Going to have sex next week after 7 years of abstinence. Anxious999 Sexual Health - Women 6 12-13-2007 08:51 AM
Help how do I breath properly Nades Anxiety 7 10-31-2006 10:23 AM
Any acne sufferers have digestive issues?? veggie girl Acne 11 04-21-2005 09:53 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



lenvegas (12), rosequartz (8), writeleft (6), Kszan (5), solofelix (5), Titchou (4), Kali333 (4), captjane (4), Tivo123 (4), ladybud (4)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1015), Apollo123 (911), Titchou (861), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (758), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:56 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!