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Old 09-24-2009, 05:14 PM   #1
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My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

I'm in a long distance relationship, and my boyfriend doesn't want me using sex toys to please myself. He says if I love the toys too much, I may not enjoy sex with him when I do see him. He says it makes him sad thinking about me pleasuring myself with anything but him. He will let me touch myself, but only if I ask him first. Any advice to get him to loosen up?

Thanks!

 
Old 09-24-2009, 05:21 PM   #2
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masterbate!

Just do it and don't worry about it...As long as he's not spying on ya, you should be o.k:-) Not cheating's one thing of course, but what you do with yourself is your business alone.

He should understand your physical needs....and if he's like me, I promise he's not able to return that favor for you over long periods of time! ;-)

 
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Old 09-24-2009, 05:33 PM   #3
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masterbate!

I feel bad going behind his back though. Is there a way to get him to just let me? I've even offered to let him watch but he's so concerned about me loving the toys more than him. There must be something I can do to get him to relax about it.

 
Old 09-24-2009, 05:49 PM   #4
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Re: My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Masterbate!

littlemissy88: If he's not around then how does he know what you're doing!!!!!!? Why do you think you need his permission?! What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Don't ever let him control you or else you'll be in for trouble down the road. It's your body, not his! I'll bet you he's not asking for YOUR permission when he wants to pleasure himself. To me this is a no-brainer. Take charge of your life!

 
Old 09-24-2009, 05:53 PM   #5
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Re: My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Masterbate!

Well I actually have... shhhh.. haha. But I just want him to be okay with it! He's just so insecure about me loving toys more than him.

 
Old 09-24-2009, 05:59 PM   #6
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masterbate!

Ask him to do the same for you. When he says "that's impossible!," direct his attention to the unfairness of that situation. Your watching offer (via internet?) is more than generous. I think it's great that you want to be honest with him...but, I think he's being a little selfish.

Just my opinion....i'm no expert by any means:-)

Last edited by steve102; 09-24-2009 at 06:00 PM.

 
Old 09-24-2009, 06:28 PM   #7
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masterbate!

You've go to be kidding! In what world do people make such arrangements? Why would you consider a man making such a request as valid? Are we talking about adults here?

Men do not "let" you do things. If you are allowing a man to decide what you can, and cannot do, you have much bigger problems than this one.

 
Old 09-24-2009, 06:50 PM   #8
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masterbate!

I agree with writeleft, since when does someone else have the right to tell you what to do with your own body? He sounds insecure, I mean come on, he's threatened by an inanimate object? He must not feel he has much to offer in the bedroom if he is worried you'll prefer a toy to an actual human being. Do what you want to do, this is his problem, not yours, let him find a way to deal with it. Whatever you do, please do not let this guy tell you what you can and can't do, that's controlling behavior and is a red flag that he could potentially be abusive.
Life too short for this nonsense, enjoy yourself.

 
Old 09-24-2009, 08:21 PM   #9
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

I hear what you guys are saying. But he's a really good guy and he's a strong man in every area of his life, that's why I give him control of me. I'm smart and I genuinely think that. He just feels that my body is sacred, and he just gets jealous when I feel good from anything except for him. Does this make any better sense?

 
Old 09-24-2009, 08:34 PM   #10
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

No. He is insecure, in my opinion. If he truly loved and cherished you and your body, he would celebrate the fact that you are willing to include him in your all your fantasies including masturbation. Of course your body is sacred, but that doesn't mean he should be jealous of a common object-your sex toys. Maybe you should encourage him to use sex toys with you when you two are together, while praising him and what he does for/to you. Maybe just reassure him that no matter how much you enjoy your toys he is your favorite "toy" and that the other toys will never compare.

 
Old 09-24-2009, 08:39 PM   #11
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

He knows I love him the best! I think he might be upset if I asked him to use toys on me when we're together. Like he might get offended that and think that I'm not satisfied with him. Hmm. That's a thought though. I think he's a combination of insecure and jealousy both.

 
Old 09-25-2009, 04:59 AM   #12
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

littlemissy: I see disaster in this relationship. He's already manipulating you and playing mind games with you. You evidently are young and naive. You are letting him control you and you are setting yourself up for an abusive, mind-controlling, parent-child relationship. You better watch out. It just happened here in my community where a guy was jealous because his girlfriend left him for someone else and it was a case of if I can't have her no one can and he murdered her and fled to the South and then committed suicide when the police found him. It's too bad that some men are like this. I would definitely not let this man control me for one minute. You need to wake up and smell the roses dear, before you get in too deep. You control you!!! Don't ever give a man power over you. I already can tell by what you said " He's a really GOOD guy and he's a strong man in every area of his life, that's why I give him control over me"!!!!
WRONG!!!!! You NEVER NEVER NEVER give someone control over you. He's already brainwashing you. Don't you get it?!!! Everyone out there who has responded - please tell her he's going in the wrong direction. Get some help girl before it's too late.

Last edited by 92261; 09-25-2009 at 05:01 AM. Reason: spelling

 
Old 09-25-2009, 06:52 AM   #13
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

Question: in Comparison to him and the toys--what Do you enjoy better? I imagine it is him, but maybe , just maybe (I did not read all the posts here) you have said something to make him feel as though you LOVE your toys & he is feeling insecure about it. If that is all it is, I can see a little bit of why he says this to you, He wants to know HE is better, plus having you all Hot & bothered for HIM when he gets home. Just make sure you keep telling him NOTHING can replace him, they are NO comparison to him, but just like him, you also need an outlet when he is not there. He surely shouldn't be saying anything to you if He is taking care of himself. He should allow the webcam thing though-dont understand that one at all! I personally do not even like any toys, I want the man, and he is glad, cause he told me once he would rather me not use anything but him. (funny to he jealous of a toy, isn't it) But I know some women do prefer toys to a man. Everyone is different. I guess he wants to make sure you are not one of those women!

 
Old 09-25-2009, 07:23 AM   #14
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

I do prefer him over toys, and I've never told him that I love them. Yeah I know it sounds really bad, but if you guys knew him, I think you would understand that he's not abusive in any way. He takes care of me really well. But see, tenacious's man is the same way. I just want him to be okay with me using toys, because I'm getting nothing from just touching myself!! I value all your input

 
Old 09-25-2009, 07:25 AM   #15
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Re: My Man Won't Let Me Masturbate!

I am young too. I'm 19 and he's 24. He's never been married and doesn't have kids. His previous girlfriend cheated while he was out of town and got pregnant, that's why it ended between them. [Just some background for ya].

 
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