Can I get some help about an issue. - Sexual Health - General Message Board

Maximus Fig · 10-31-2009, 03:40 AM

This is not easy to talk about.. but i came here because one I needed to talk about it with other people. it helps that I dont know anyone here. But it likes knowing that I can get feedback or atleast share it with other people

during my life..Ive had alot of traumatic events..physical illness chronic etc. that caused lot of depression anger etc.. self esteem issues. just to get you a view on my history

I know there is threads out there about this issue..I have searched and read them...to find like people in simliar situations..its quite sad about some.but also it helped alittle..

the issue is about size..penis size..its an issue i have struggled all my life with..recently the last few years more so..

though i have alot of other issues that bother me..this issue is the one i want to share and talk about..

I am engaged to be married..im so happy about it..that I have found someone who I love..and want to be with.

I dont know how to explain this..its quite hard too..but since we been together I always had a sense that she thought I was small..etc..we did have sexual relations...

we both enjoy it.and love each other..over the course of our time together.i asked her..we talked about it..she said i was fine..etc..i found out she thought I was small alittle....but then she said..no im fine... I just dont know...if im being paranoid..worried to much or whatnot..over time we talked what we both liked..she said she had fantasies about big ones..i thought it was kinky..so we both played on that..

the thing with me.is im brutally honest alot..all times..i cant hide stuff or hold stuff in.i like to talk about it..

we talked about it..during this week.some of me wanted the truth..i asked her..she said she perfered big ones...i dont know how it got to it..but like i wanted to know how she knew so..she said..well she had big before..i asked with who..it was one of her X..she said it felt better..she perfered it that way..that night I got so hurt.i wasnt mad at her..but i got so mad..during the night i couldnt sleep..felt such a pain in my chest

we talked about it again..just to clarify.i was honest with my feelings...she said she didnt care about size..she said I was perfect..she liked me for who I am..u must understand..we kid around about it.i dont mind.i get turned on by her caling me small.i dont know why..

but theres this pain in me from this issue..even before meeting her.i believe her..she is honest.when she told me she didnt care..she loved me and what i was for who i am...but theres this part in me..that thinks she does..im trying to trust her..but i just had to share this..

i dont know if im worrying so much.i do have OCD..so ya..I needed to share this

pendulum · 10-31-2009, 04:29 AM

Honestly, I find her to be a little ambiguous. If she is going to marry you, why would she say now, at this point, that she preferred the big size...? This is something unacceptable to hear from your fiancée or bride, in my opinion. I don't know what to advise, but maybe I would consider putting off this wedding until...

The size issue is a very complex one. Nobody has the definitive answer on it. What really matters is not penis size, but compatibility between penis and vagina. If you think you have a small penis, then you might need a woman with a short vagina. Read more about this subject on the compassionate dragon site.

By the way, what are the other issues that bother you? Maybe they are even more important than this one...

Maximus Fig · 10-31-2009, 04:53 AM

the other issues arent related to relationship just personal journey and my health..

she didnt bring it up.i asked..i just sensed that..thats all..she said she doesnt care about size.im just telling you how I feel....we do love each other very much

i just needed to tell someone...i trust her..trust is something im working on..with myself and everyone around me..

it is hard for me to trust her about this issue..we talk.openly about stuff.and share how we feel..please dont get the wrong impression about her..she is very nice..im just sharing what we have shared..

theres just this part in me.that says.im not enough..like about her X and all..i know its not right to think like that..but im human you know...

pendulum · 10-31-2009, 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maximus Fig

...

theres just this part in me.that says.im not enough..like about her X and all..i know its not right to think like that..but im human you know...

You know, nobody is really perfect. Very few people are totally satisfied about their body or mind or temperament, but this doesn't prevent them from living on. Accept yourself the way you are. At the same time, try to develop other areas of your body: your chest, your biceps, whatever. This can make you feel somewhat better about yourself.

Belly Kelly · 10-31-2009, 06:16 AM

pendulum has a point about her admitting she likes bigger men, but on the flip side, you shouldn't have asked your fiancee this question if you didn't want to know the truth. Did you want her to lie to you instead?

The real issue is you and your thoughts. Even if she never said she prefers larger men, something tells me you would still be insecure about your penis and think she had a problem with it.

This is your issue to deal with. There is nothing your fiancee can do or say to make you think differently. My advice is to work on this b/c this woman loves you and is marrying you. Don't lose her b/c of YOUR insecurities.

Best of luck!

Just to add - I am sure she has her share of insecurities about her body as well. Asking her about this might put you at ease a bit.