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Old 11-29-2009, 08:08 AM   #1
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How important is great sex in a relationship?

So, I was with a girl for 12 years. We had a very passionate relationship from day 1 and it never fizzled. We could kiss for hours, and sex was amazing. The problem was that we fought a lot, didn't resolve conflict well, and didn't communicate well. So, we broke up.

Now, I'm with a girl who I can really talk to! In her, I've found what I was missing in my old relationship -- except, my sex life is now quite mediocre. I realized how lucky I was, and now feel a bit depressed that this is as good as my sex life will be from now on. And I don't think we can do anything to improve it. There is something that physically feels different.

My friend once told me that sex was overrated. I used to think that he was crazy - but now I understand. If this was the only sex that I'd ever known, I'd think it was overrated too.

So -- which is more important for a great relationship? Great sex and mediocre communication, or great communication and mediocre sex?

 
Old 11-29-2009, 09:19 AM   #2
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Re: How important is great sex in a relationship?

Unfortunately, I think both are important. I was in a previous relationship where the sex was nothing special, in fact, it was borderline "bad" sex (infrequent, no passion, boring, etc). Now, I am dating a guy where the sex is amazing, and I didn't realize how much I was missing out. I had partners before my ex, but I kind of tried to convince myself that sex wasn't as important as I thought it was. It wasn't until this new guy that I realized how much I really appreciate good sex and a healthy, steady sex life. I think although sex is a secondary part to a relationship, it's a very important part, and if you aren't satisfied in that area, you'll always feel like something is missing.

 
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:35 AM   #3
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Re: How important is great sex in a relationship?

It's essential...

That said, I wouldn't lose hope that there's nothing you can do to spice it up. Be creative. Be open. Buy a book. If communication is as good as you say it is, use it.

 
Old 11-30-2009, 09:18 AM   #4
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Re: How important is great sex in a relationship?

It might have been easier to improve the communication with girl #1 (with counseling) than to improve the sex with girl #2. Is there any possibility of a reconciliation?

 
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