girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
my girlfriend has never had an orgasm. it is wrecking my self esteem.
i've been with my share of girls, and none have had this problem.
lil t.m.i. my johnson has a curve in it so it does the job fantastically.
but this girl will not orgasm. she works alot so i know shes always stressed, but she says sex is just to make me happy.
ive done some research and now i'm curious
there's a med out there called cyproheptadine. used to treat allergies. very harmless. docs are prescribing it to treat sexual dysfuntion in women. libido, orgasm, the works. they give it for antidepressant induced anorgasmia.
anyone heard of it? who knows if i can even get her to take it short from grinding it and slipping it into ice cream...yeah im not gonna do that spare the moral lecture i am just desperate. anyone know about this?
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Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
First off, how do you know that other girl you have been with weren't faking it. Remember we are masters at faking orgasms....also, about 90% of women can not reach orgasm through sex and only through clitoral stimulation.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-27-2010 at 07:37 PM.
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Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Yeah, I've got to agree with Shrimp. Unless your johnson is directly stimulating her clitoris, it's no surprise she's not orgasming from penetration with you.
With all that research you're doing about this "harmless" allergy med, have you researched what really makes a woman orgasm? 'Cause with most women, it ain't the "johnson" itself.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
You claim to have done research on the subject and yet you never came across the statistic that betweem 85-90% of women are unable to reach orgasm through penetration alone! Furthermore, if you did as much research as you claim to have done, you would know that even with simulaneous clitoral stimulation and penetration, there's still no guarantee that a woman will have an orgasm! A woman needs to know her own body really well and she has to be able to mentally get herself ready for it. It's a totally different experience than what it takes to get a guy off and it seems to me like you haven't been reading the right research!
There's absolutely nothing wrong with her. She is totally normal! She just hasn't learned how her body needs to be stimulated yet. She is going to have to figure that out before she can explain to you what she needs you to do.
I'm sure those ex gf's of yours were faking most of the time just cause they didn't want to hurt your feelings. That's what majority of women do when they don't want to hurt their bf's feelings when the sex isn't that great.
As for this drug you're talking about, I've never heard o it and I think it's a stupid idea. It's not going to work, anyway. Besides, what if she has a bad reaction to it after you slipped it in her ice cream without telling her? You have no idea how she may react to it and if it makes her sick or dead, that's all on your hands. I wouldn't do it.
What you SHOULD be doing instead, if you care about her and her pleasure, is talk to her about it and work together with her to find out what she likes and doesn't like. What gives her pleasure and what doesn't. That's what you should be doing instead of trying to be underhanded and trick her into ingesting a drug that likely will have zero effect on the problem anyway because it's not the kind of problem that can be fixed by pills!
The Following User Says Thank You to Kszan For This Useful Post: dadinfl (07-20-2012)
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
ive tried oral on her.
it doesn't work.
like half hour straight...nothing!
says she gets nothing out of it.
that's why i'm more than frustrated.
she's just not into it.
and sadly, she doesn't seem to care about getting off. happy without it.
im the one who cares bout her doin it.
as for the fakers, totally agree with you.
at this point i can tell a faker from the real one. tends to do with the wettness
almost all the girls ive been with have been squirters.
yes i know squirting and orgasming are different, but they do go hand in hand.
even the ones who didn't squirt, i could feel the muscle contractions and wetness. trained myself with kegels so ive gotten pretty sharp at spotting the movements myself. of course i can be wrong, but im relatively certain if not everytime, all the other girls have at least had one
hell ive tried going to the sex shop the pleasure chest in los angeles for an answer.
ladies there told me to give up! and they've heard every story in the book.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
If she's not into this, you may not get very far with your efforts. However, if she is interested in finding out the problem(s), I would suggest a sex therapist. It could be a# of different things.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
I have a few suggestions. First of all, try not to pressure her too much about it. If she feels pressure than it will be harder for her. If she is going to start having orgasms, she needs to want to herself. Most women learn to orgasm through masturbation. When I say learn, I mean learn. It doesn't just happen to us like it does to young men. She probably needs to do her own self-exploration before she can orgasm with you. A vibrator could really help, but remember, she has to want this for herself. Also, as other people mentioned, only about 70% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, so make sure you pay attention to her clitoris.
I've heard about cyproheptadine as a treatment for sexual dysfunction resulting from antidepressants. It works for some people, but not most. But it really is just for SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction. Now, she may actually be on an SSRI, in which case there are a few options we could discuss (I have personally struggled with this).
I hope you can really talk to her about this, communication is important with this kind of thing.
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Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Kimmy you're talking sense. I don't pressure her. Like, at all.
She wants to do it sometimes but its just for me.
The thing is, she has never masturbated. Like, Never!
Thought it was gross. How the hell do I get her to do it when
she had 0 interest?
Kimmy I've brought her a vibrator. A good one, with a **** stimulator and bells and whistles that made me wish I was a women.
She's tried it a bunch of times to no avail. Honestly, I don't think she has any interest in having one. So sex therapist = out. She's really conscious about her body and isn't into oral sex either, so stimulating it that way does not work. I'm slamming my skull against the wall cause other than letting this play out, I'm not too sure what else to do. She's incredibly focused on her job, and she'll just focus all her attention of that if she's angry
We've tried communicating, but it ends in frustration. Seriously, she seems to fit the model to a T for the clinical definition of Anorgasmia. That's why cyproheptadine came to me. I don't wanna break up with someone over sex. And I'm not sure if she has deeper issues that I can't resolve. I'm trying everything I can here and want outside useful opinion before I give up
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Quote:
Originally Posted by hatethis
Kimmy you're talking sense. I don't pressure her. Like, at all.
She wants to do it sometimes but its just for me.
The thing is, she has never masturbated. Like, Never!
Thought it was gross. How the hell do I get her to do it when
she had 0 interest?
Kimmy I've brought her a vibrator. A good one, with a **** stimulator and bells and whistles that made me wish I was a women.
She's tried it a bunch of times to no avail. Honestly, I don't think she has any interest in having one. So sex therapist = out. She's really conscious about her body and isn't into oral sex either, so stimulating it that way does not work. I'm slamming my skull against the wall cause other than letting this play out, I'm not too sure what else to do. She's incredibly focused on her job, and she'll just focus all her attention of that if she's angry
We've tried communicating, but it ends in frustration. Seriously, she seems to fit the model to a T for the clinical definition of Anorgasmia. That's why cyproheptadine came to me. I don't wanna break up with someone over sex. And I'm not sure if she has deeper issues that I can't resolve. I'm trying everything I can here and want outside useful opinion before I give up
Well I commend you for reaching out for help. I don't have time for a thoughtful post, but I'll think on it and reply tomorrow. I hope that anyone else who may have had a similar experience will share their input.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Now we get more of the story! If she thinks masturbating is "gross" and doesn't even know what it takes for her to get herself off, then nothing you do is going to make a difference! A pill is not going to fix this! Somewhere along the way she got the idea that sex was bad and she's not into it, end of story. She is unwilling to go to any type of counseling to figure out why.
You keep making this about her not being able to orgasm, that's secondary to whatever her problem is! Her problem isn't that she can't have an orgasm, her problem is that she isn't into sex, at all.
And buy the way, for a woman who has never masturbated, I can't believe you bought her that kind of vibrator! Geez, you are SUCH a guy!!! You should have started with the plainest looking small one you could find! Some of those high tech with every option kinds can be very intimidating to someone as inexperienced as her!
You just need to accept the fact that she does not like sex, will not get help for her problem, doesn't think she has a problem, and you slipping her a mickey with some crazy pill is not going to fix this!
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kszan
Now we get more of the story! If she thinks masturbating is "gross" and doesn't even know what it takes for her to get herself off, then nothing you do is going to make a difference! A pill is not going to fix this! Somewhere along the way she got the idea that sex was bad and she's not into it, end of story. She is unwilling to go to any type of counseling to figure out why.
You keep making this about her not being able to orgasm, that's secondary to whatever her problem is! Her problem isn't that she can't have an orgasm, her problem is that she isn't into sex, at all.
And buy the way, for a woman who has never masturbated, I can't believe you bought her that kind of vibrator! Geez, you are SUCH a guy!!! You should have started with the plainest looking small one you could find! Some of those high tech with every option kinds can be very intimidating to someone as inexperienced as her!
You just need to accept the fact that she does not like sex, will not get help for her problem, doesn't think she has a problem, and you slipping her a mickey with some crazy pill is not going to fix this!
I agree with this post.
Her lack of interest may become a real problem in your relationship, no matter how petty a "sex problem" may seem. I wouldn't necessarily just drop her, but it looks like you are in for some long hard talks and hopefully (for both of your sakes) she will someday enjoy sex as much as you do!
You may have to go to couples counseling at some point if she can't understand why sex is so important to you, and you can't understand why sex is so unimportant to her. A third party might get through to her if you feel like you are hitting a wall.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Aye I agree. At this point, ---- all. My new approach is just not to even broach the subject of sex. Let her do it when she feels like, and see what happens. I just don't want it to get to a point I secretly start hating her.
As for counseling, I have no idea if she would ever go for that. After reading these threads, I have decided there's alot for me to work on myself. Not sexually, just me as a person. I'm gonna do all of that and see if it helps loosen her up. Best to be the best guy you can be in this situation, before completely blaming others. That's why this is so difficult, for some reason I can't place the blame on her completely. I feel I am a part of it and can't shake that.
Also, I know I can't drop her because of this. I mean I can, but that would mess her up being dumped over sex. No way I could do that and not come out the bad guy or not mess her up. Right?
Guess I'm starting to sound complacent after reading through all these threads since I have tried just about anything short of hiring a Chippendale's dancer to come and service her and see if that works. Best I can do is give it my all and not give up and hopefully someone's advice here will point me in the right direction
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Quote:
Originally Posted by hatethis
After reading these threads, I have decided there's alot for me to work on myself. Not sexually, just me as a person.
You started to make sensible comments, like the one above, and then you go on to suggest:
Quote:
Originally Posted by hatethis
hiring a Chippendale's dancer to come and service her and see if that works.
I'm sure this is partly sarcasm--although, the problem with message boards is it's hard to tell--but this general attitude is not going to be helpful, at all, and it comes through in some of your other posts, too.
I don't know how you act around her, but things like buying her the "bells and whistle" vibrator, and talking about the "curve" in your johnson that has satisfied every woman you've ever been with, and all those women have been squirters, and you know female orgasms so well that you can spot a faker from a real one... Well, this type of (let's call it) "confidence," may not be a turn on sexually to someone who isn't very experienced.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
I feel the need to clarify mate, for anyone who thinks I'm comin off as a jackass. I'm cynical in some of these posts because I am frustrated beyond comprehension.
I'm never sarcastic or cynical or even cocky with my girlfriend, but if I am here, it's cause I'm using this board as an outlet.
My girlfriend asked for the fanciest vibrator in the hopes it would help.
It didn't. I know approximately jack about buying a vibrator. I had an easier time buying a car and did exactly what she asked for.
And as for my sexual confidence. I have never bragged to insinuated to women at any point I'm some kind of stud. Hell, I don't talk about it at all even to my guy friends. It's my business.
I know the guys who brag how women love them. They brag to make up for insecurities.
I'm blessed I've had good luck with women in the past, and what I'm doing is being 100% open with everyone on this board, about my sexual experiences with women that I normally keep to myself, in the hope to reach a solution to the problem.
Now, if people think I'm overconfident or whathave you, well is a sad that your initial reaction is to assume I'm full of it or I can't tell if other girls have been faking it or enjoyed it. Though to play devil's advocate, it would explain a lot of the problems.
I have zero reason to brag or boast myself to anyone here. I need to be completely honest about myself to figure out how to help all of this.
With her, I've been as understanding as possible, but it's coming to a head.
I've been lookin for help and all I can do with her is drop the issue so she doesn't feel any bit more self conscious. There is no way she would be game for couples counseling.
So, I do want to thank everyone for taking the time to talk me through this. I guess all I have been hoping to find is someone in a similar situation, or someone with any experience dealing with this. There isn't any magic bullet, but every little piece of advice takes me one step closer.
There is no way I would leave someone because the sex wasn't working out. There's more to a relationship than sex. At the same hand, I can't keep being miserable/going crazy, so I need to find a gentle medium. Any ideas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by caberg
You started to make sensible comments, like the one above, and then you go on to suggest:
I'm sure this is partly sarcasm--although, the problem with message boards is it's hard to tell--but this general attitude is not going to be helpful, at all, and it comes through in some of your other posts, too.
I don't know how you act around her, but things like buying her the "bells and whistle" vibrator, and talking about the "curve" in your johnson that has satisfied every woman you've ever been with, and all those women have been squirters, and you know female orgasms so well that you can spot a faker from a real one... Well, this type of (let's call it) "confidence," may not be a turn on sexually to someone who isn't very experienced.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
HateThis:
I think you sound very respectable and I think it is a GOOD thing you CARE so much about her pleasure & having such an insatiable desire for her to experience all of this WITH YOU. Nothing wrong with that, or any need to apologize to anyone here. I think you have been very articulate in expressing how frustrated you are at this point.
Unfortunetly, I do not have any advice really, just that I think many of those on this board are not in your shoes and can not fully understand How this must feel. I do think Sex is majorly important in a relationship. Even as a woman, I dont think I could marry someone who I could not bring to the Mountain topsin orgasm. That is VERY important to me, it is to ANYONE who Truly cares about their partners pleasure. It would always and forever bother me. I dont blame you at all for wanting to figure this out, She is blessed she has someone who is trying soooo hard , even refusing to break up over this.
I hope you find the answer or the Peace with this. And come back here & share with us all your journey.
Re: girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work?
Since she has never had an orgasm she couldn't know what she is missing and how worthy a goal it is to try to acheive. I think that she has to want to try and right now she really doesn't. A woman has to find her orgasm herself, by herself before she can ever expect a man to give her one.
I think that you have to accept this or move on. Sex may not be all that a relationship is about but it is a huge part and if you guys aren't sexually compatible then in the long run I doubt that you'll be happy.
The Following User Says Thank You to trystme For This Useful Post: dadinfl (07-20-2012)
