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Old 07-07-2010, 11:26 AM   #1
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Dakota Tatum HB User
19, and barely interested in sex with my boyfriend. What's wrong with me?

I'm 19, and have been dating my boyfriend for 1 1/2 now. I love him a lot, and I would probably die if I lost him. He means everything to me. But our sex life... Is crap. I, however, will take the blame for this. In bed, my boyfriend is exciting, and energetic, wants to experiment with different positions, the whole 9 yards. I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite now? I never used to be though! With my previous 2 relationships, I was always the one initiating sex. I was wild, fun, flexible, and exciting. I usually wanted it more than they did. I have gained a little bit of weight since, and have been more self-conscious than usual, but I sometimes think it's because of something that's lacking emotionally? I trust him not to go run off, and find it somewhere else, but I actually want a good sex life lol! We've actually gotten into quite a few arguments, because I'm just not interested anymore. Sex is almost like work now to me. Work, and I'm only 19 years old! Wth? Like I said, I do love him a lot, and I am physically attracted to him, but he just doesn't give me that "Wow, you are so hot, take off your clothes, and let's do it right now!" kind of feeling. Now, I would NEVER betray my man, or do anything like this, but I have this beautiful, super sexy, spanish guy friend. And inside he just drives me wild. I haven't had the urge to rip off someone's clothes like that, in a long time. I would NEVER do it, but the urge once got pretty strong. It makes me wonder, if this problem isn't just because something's wrong with me, or if it's something else. Cause I seem to get excited just fine when I talk to my spanish friend. Wow, that sounds so bad, but it's the truth. My boyfriend is very good looking, I know that I CAN be exciting when it comes to sex with him, I just don't know why I'm not?

What's going on?!

Last edited by Dakota Tatum; 07-07-2010 at 11:27 AM.

 
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:25 PM   #2
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Lily2005 HB User
Re: 19, and barely interested in sex with my boyfriend. What's wrong with me?

Well, maybe it's possible to love your boyfriend but just not have the sexual chemistry there. Was it different in the beginning or has it always been the way it is now? You're still very young to think about settling down for life. If you ever do decide to break up, it would be better to do it honorably and truthfully than to find yourself in a cheating situation. Cheating won't only hurt your boyfriend but you might be surprised how much it will end up hurting you, as well. (Been there.)

 
Old 07-08-2010, 02:09 PM   #3
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tommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB User
Re: 19, and barely interested in sex with my boyfriend. What's wrong with me?

wise, and truthful advise, Lily.

 
Old 07-09-2010, 09:18 AM   #4
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Re: 19, and barely interested in sex with my boyfriend. What's wrong with me?

I'm in the same boat... With some things anyways! Good luck girl!

Last edited by Meg Saint D; 07-09-2010 at 09:20 AM.

 
Old 07-09-2010, 09:22 AM   #5
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Dakota Tatum HB User
Re: 19, and barely interested in sex with my boyfriend. What's wrong with me?

Oh no! Like I mentioned before in my question piece, I would never cheat on him, it would never lead to that. If worse came to worse, I would probably ask for a break, or just end things if it really wasn't working out.
Sex in the beginning with us however, was so-so. I think we rushed into it a little to be honest. It's weird, sometimes I'd really be into it, and others I'd be like I am now, bored and careless. When sex comes up, I'm literally thinking 'K... Let's get this over with' every time. And it's confusing, cause I do love him, an I am attracted to him. Like I really would hate to end up breaking up, after all we've been through this past year and half, cause I just can't get into it. It's not his fault, he's tried numerous ways to excite me, and sometimes it works, the foreplay is fun and what not.. But the actual sex, I'm like blahhh! Not that he's not good, or big enough or anything like that, I'm just not emotionally connected during it, like I should be?

 
Old 07-09-2010, 08:52 PM   #6
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Re: 19, and barely interested in sex with my boyfriend. What's wrong with me?

well i've been there before. im actually 18 and love my boyfriend to death and we've been together for a year and sum as well. I do think that you need to change your mindset because if you love him like you say, it shouldn't feel like a chore to make love to him, it should feel natural and exciting. Lust is a killer and your attraction and excitement towards your spanish friend is simply that. my mother once told me that you should never leave what you know for what you don't know and the truth is that you have no idea how u may emotionally or sexually link to your spanish friend. the prospect of something new excites you whereas its like your boyfriend is someone and something you're used to. i suggest that you give yourself some time. think about it and be honest with yourself and your boyfriend and really explore your sexual diversities because in your second post you said that the sex between you and your boyfriend was you know, so so at the beginning. it's ok, alot of us has been there. it was the same with me and my boyfriend at first because i had no emotional connection to him at all because we were having casual sex but now, the sex is ..... let's just say that the earth shatters when we do it lol! so evaluate all aspects, don't make any rash decisions and just be who you are.

 
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