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Old 11-22-2002, 10:37 AM   #1
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Question Guys....Husband all of the sudden sex-crazy after 4 years..is this normal?

My husband and I have been married for over 4 years. We have a great relationship but 98% of the time I have to initiate sex. It has been this way for 3 years. Sometimes I feel like I have to beg for it. Well he took a new job in June 02 and works on call every other week, sometimes not coming home until 3AM. It has been hard on our relationship to get adjusted to these hours but I try to stay understanding as I know he is working very hard for us (btw..I work FT too).

I went out of town last weekend and my husband was on call. When I came back on Sunday, he literally attacked me (in a good way). Okay...this was great b/c this NEVER happens. So...Tuesday morning before work he attacks me again....WOW! We never have sex in the mornings although I have tried time and time again to get him to do so. Thursday morning he comes home after working all night, and again .....we have sex.

Before this, I would literally have to beg for sex and maybe get lucky once every 1 1/2 weeks. We never have sex when he's on call b/c he's too tired. Now all of the sudden he's a maniac....which I love it don't get me wrong but why the sudden turn around. Our marriage is not in trouble...we have a few disagreements here and there but we're not on the verge of divorce and this being an attempt to save our marriage. Should I worry....guys does this sound like he's feeling guilty for something and doing this b/c I've expressed so many times how much I want him? Could he have a hormone change? Do guys go thru spurts (He's almost 35 y/o), or am I just being stupid?

Thanks for your input!

 
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Old 11-22-2002, 10:45 AM   #2
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Have you asked him why he's acting differently? If not, what are you waiting for?

 
Old 11-22-2002, 10:50 AM   #3
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I've asked him. He says he misses me. He's worked this job since June and we don't see each other as much as we did before, but this only started this past weekend so that's why I'm concerned. My son and I go out of town once a month (to my mom's) so the fact we were gone the whole weekend wasn't new to him. He was on call anyway and wasn't home himself.....

 
Old 11-22-2002, 12:39 PM   #4
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Don't fret it and count your blessings because when it stops, you'll probably be on here asking us why has he stopped. Take advantage of it while it lasts because it probably won't.

 
Old 11-22-2002, 01:00 PM   #5
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Maybe something happened (not a bad thing) that made him open his eyes. Now realizes that he has you, and he wants to keep you happy, and he know sex makes you happy. I don't know...just a thought.

 
Old 11-22-2002, 01:08 PM   #6
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I think this is a typical "absence makes the heart grow fonder" situation. Just make sure for your sake the sex is great so that if and when he ever gets back to his normal work schedule, he'll want you just as much as before.

 
Old 11-22-2002, 01:42 PM   #7
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I have my doubts that it is the time apart makes the heart grow fonder....
Granted it does but it doesnt take that many months for it to happen. My DH is in the Air Force and has to be gone quite a bit during certain months of the year. The time that he is home we have a very active sex life. The times that he goes away I can see the heart growing fonder because we have many months together and then two weeks or longer apart. Our sex life goes into a honeymoon stage where it seems like all we do is have sex for three or four days after his return.
It might be he has come to realize that he has been not paying enough attention to your marriage. Or I hate to say this but there could be more going on. When it comes to men having affiars one of two things happen. One being they stop having any interest in their wife. The second being they start having more sex with their wife and giving more affection to the spouse. There is a possiblity that he might be having an affair. Or maybe he has woken up and realized he needs to be more loving with you. I do hope that it is that instead of the other.

You are going to have to sit him down and let him know that you are having doubts on this sudden turn around of his. Good luck and I hope things are truly just him being loving.
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Old 11-22-2002, 09:35 PM   #8
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Hi Sky~
I am probably the most suspicious person. I do trust my husband but sometimes he does things that make me suspicious of him. Some of that may be because of my past relationship issues or my personality.
I know that you are loving the change in your sex life because it sounded like it really hurt to have to "beg" or initate all the time. I also think that you have some doubts about what he is telling you. I would do some serious checking. I always thought that I would "just know" if my man was cheating on me....maybe I ignored it or tried to wish it away with my X. I also was naive enough to think that all my friends would tell me...NOT!!! They just talked about it behind my back. I think that I bring all of that into this marriage and sometimes I hate the doubts that I have. BUT I always swore that I would NOT be the last to know again.
I hope this is not what is happening with you but I would check it out. Maybe he does realize what he had the whole time or perhaps he had some sort of eye-opening event. Maybe he is worried that YOU are looking for something on the side! Haha

 
Old 11-23-2002, 05:33 PM   #9
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That was the first thing that popped into my head, too, was it sounds like he's cheating and so he's trying to hide it by getting SOOO satisfied at home that it looks like he wouldn't cheat. Did that make sense? HAHA! I would definitely talk to him about it, sounds like infidelity to me. Only because it's so SUDDEN.

 
Old 11-23-2002, 06:07 PM   #10
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I really appreciate all of your responses. I asked him again today and he said that it's because we haven't seen each other very much lately. But the thing is that things are no different since June....and I asked him if he had cheated on me and he said no...but how many people fess up when asked?

BUT...you all something has came up that has me really wondering now. For the past couple of days we've been home treating some sores that has come up on him....I really think it's herpes. I researched the internet and I am about 99% sure that's what it is. They just popped up and OMG...the internet site I looked at said that it's rare and next to never that it's contracted from a toilet seat, which is where he says he had to have got it from. I don't know what to think....I want to trust him...we've been thru so much together, we lost our baby girl, went thru 3 years of fertility tx to finally get our son and now that everything is finally starting to seem okay this starts...... I'm so scared

 
Old 11-23-2002, 06:34 PM   #11
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Hi Sky~
So sorry about your baby girl.
There are so many things that make us who we are. We have hard times that mold us and shape us too. It sounds like the two of you have really been through a lot. BUT that herpes makes ME even more suspicious..... I doubt he would confess unless you had the evidence right in front of his face if he was cheating (and then, most people try to deny it! Haha)
I would just keep some close tabs on him and see what is going on.
Smile Regardless, remember that you are wonderful!

 
Old 11-23-2002, 06:39 PM   #12
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PS/ I would have his tested at the doctor to make sure that it is in fact HERPES....that way you would know for sure what you are dealing with. Best to get it checked NOW. It may be easier to get him in the doctor's office.

 
Old 11-23-2002, 08:41 PM   #13
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Chances are that if he has herpes, you have now been exposed to them too. No you can't get it from a toilet seat, sex and oral sex are the only ways I know of. Get him to go to the doctor or go yourself, I don't know if the virus can be picked up from a blood test if you have it or only when they are active(sores).

 
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