I'm 24 and have been in a relationship with a guy of 28 for the last year. It's one of these deeply emotional, madly in love with each other kind of relationships but despite being together a year we have yet to have sex. He's a virgin, so I don't like to pressure him.
After about 3 months together and steady increase in sexual intimacy he said he was ready to have sex, but as soon as he got a condom on he lost his erection. At the time he refused to talk about it, and our sexual nature of our relationship went backwards and has been stuck as such since then.
Recently we have started to be sexually intimate again, but once again as soon as we tried to have sex he lost his erection. He was a bit more open about it this time, and admitted it was his worst nightmare. He doesn't have problems getting an erection during oral sex of mutual masturbation, though he never orgasms. I also know he masturbates daily when we're not together. Because of this I'm assuming it's a psychological issue rather than physical, but I'm not sure how to help him past this.
Good Lord, what guy hasn't had that happen in the early days?
Well for one thing ... YOU should put the condom on .. in as sexy a way as possible so as to distract him sufficiently while doing it. He won't be totally unaware but its all a matter of percentages .. just get him somewhat distracted.
Another idea is for him to PRACTICE putting on the condom by hisself when he is doing masturbating or when he gets a morning erection or just any old time day in day out. Think of it like practicing putts in golf you know?
Sex is all about having confidence .. but you need a lot of sex to be confident! Oh well.
So the next time .. even if he deflates .. just keep working on it and soon things will come back up again. Even if you ignore it and go back to other things it'll probably come back up and there you go!.. Then you can both have a laugh about how silly it all was.
my husband also experianced this when we first got together .. he had been single for 8 yrs before me n not had sex for that long too .. trust me when i say it is ALL PSHYCOLOGICAL - he's feeling inadequate / scared etc ... what cured my husband was letting him know that its NO BIG DEAL!! i would just kiss on him.. make sure its known that u dont have to have sex, just let it happen whenever .. and do oral on him .. it always comes back after that - be patient and do things to boost his confidence!
If he is 28 and still a virgin the first time this happened to him was a long time ago maybe even in his teens. Since it happened and embarassed him, everytime he tries to have intercourse it brings up the memories and his penis doesn't perform. He also probably lost a lot of girlfriends because of it.The only thing I can think of is telling him that you are in no hurry and if it takes 20 years or more that you are OK with it but you like the intamacy. I know I spelled that wrong. This can help take off the pressure. Also tell him that if it seems it is ready that you will take contol of the situation and together you may work it out. The only other thing is that there is a possibility he could be gay but I'm hoping that isn't the situation. I hope that helps.