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Old 04-22-2011, 07:55 AM   #1
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Arrow Boyfriend can't maintain erection. Why? An what can I do?

He was 23 when he had penetrative sex for the first time (with me), I was 21 and had sex partners before him, I'm female.

During first 2 weeks he couldn't get it up at all, then he had trouble to maintain his erection, especially if we were changing positions. After two months of having sex he got better, and was actually superb for less than a month. Now it's about 4,5 months we are sexually active and for about 3 weeks he cannot maintain his erection, or it isn't hard enough to get inside.

He says he really wants me, that he loves me etc. He also says he is not gay, although he had some sexual experience with guys. He did say that sometimes he loses sensation during sex, and this is why he doesn't like me to be on top, because it's boring for him. When he's masturbating, he can get a perfect hard on and always orgasms. When I give him hand- or blowjob he never finishes, although it is easier for him to stay erect. He says though, that he doesn't want to masturbate that much because it's just a physical feeling and he enjoys the intimacy of the act.

He is looking for a job now, because his contact is ending this June, but he says it doesn't bother him.

To be honest, I don't want to have sex anymore because he can't satisfy me and gets upset everytime we try, but I want to help him. Any ideas?

Last edited by justsomeoneelse; 04-22-2011 at 07:57 AM.

 
Old 04-22-2011, 09:07 AM   #2
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Re: Boyfriend can't maintain erection. Why? An what can I do?

Quote:
When he's masturbating, he can get a perfect hard on and always orgasms.
I think this is the culprit of your problems right here. How often does he masturbate? How long has he been masturbating? For some guys, frequent masturbation can have negative effects in the bedroom. The feeling they (we) have while masturbating isn't the same feeling they (we) have while having sex. If he's masturbating frequently, then I would recommend having him stop completely. If unable to stop completely, then suggest to him that he not masturbate a couple of days prior to you and him being intimate.

Right now, the majority of the problem for him is mental. He's more or less, trained himself to only orgasm and be firmly erect when he masturbates. I would suggest you maybe continue with the manual or oral stimulation on him maybe even to the point he orgasms. With a little time he'll learn to overcome this. You two might also consider the use of a ****-ring. Placed at the base of his penis, it's designed to help with weak erections.

 
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Old 04-22-2011, 12:52 PM   #3
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Re: Boyfriend can't maintain erection. Why? An what can I do?

[QUOTE=justsomeoneelse;4737309]He was 23 when he had penetrative sex for the first time (with me), I was 21 and had sex partners before him, I'm female.


I believe that the problem lies with the fact that he went until he was 23 before having intercourse. I had a similar experice personally and found that I was accustomed to masterbating so much that normal sexual intercourse did not keep me stimulated enough. I also wonder if your partner has viewed a large amount of pornography. This too can change the way your brain processes sexual energy and it may take time to get into a normally cycle. I have found that regular masterbation and pornography usage ruins sex with my s.o. for me. You also may want to find what really turns him on and try to accomodate, a good way to find out would be for you to ask him to show some of the pornography he enjoys so you can emulate.

 
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