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Old 04-29-2011, 11:48 AM   #1
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Lightbulb Boy friend masterbating every morning

My boy friend(American,30)and I have been living together for 3 months-dated for a year before. I am Japanese(36), 163 cm tall and weigh 104 pound, very fit and beautiful. He recently asked me to marry him.

My difficulty is that I started noticing he masterbates every morning before he goes to work. We make love about once or twice a week.One day, I initiated to make love in the morning but he told me to stop... then that day, while I was cleaning the bathtub I noticed he masterbated... And the next day, I brought up this issue and told him how I felt in that morning after he refused me then masterbated in shower... I told him I feel uncomfortable him doing it when I am around the house and he said he will never do this again when I am home. But I noticed that he constantly does this. Now he feels that I am checking him all the time but I am not. I also use bathroom and I am the one who clean the bathtub...I just notice things...cause he leaves evidence on the floor or hair catcher. What can be the wisest way to understand him?

Last edited by moko; 04-29-2011 at 12:22 PM.

 
Old 04-29-2011, 12:17 PM   #2
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Re: Boy friend masterbating every morning

hum.... honestly, I initiate to make love often, but my boyfriend doesn't seem to have much energy for it... Yes, it is true that him being dishonest bothers me a lot. He never openly talks about sexuality with me, but I do though. If I didn't take this relationship seriously, it won't even be a concern.. But we are considering life long commitment, so I guess I take this situation as a matter. It is about trust. I think masterbation is very good thing. BUt I said to him, not when I am home and he said yes.

 
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Old 04-29-2011, 12:28 PM   #3
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Re: Boy friend masterbating every morning

Quote:
Originally Posted by realman89 View Post
I am sure even if he told u he would stop when ur home he would find a way to do it when ur there. Only thing u can do is talk to him.
I don't want to make him feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. What I feel that he should meet a woman who doesn't bother this at all so he can be himself. Bringing this issue again is difficult for me but I will try. Thank you for your genuine answer.

 
Old 05-02-2011, 10:41 AM   #4
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Re: Boy friend masterbating every morning

Quote:
Originally Posted by realman89 View Post
If thats how you feel then you can't be to happy with the relationship or you would get over that little thing.
We had a conversation about what bothers me. He strongly denied and would not openly talk about it at all. I think it was a good time to see how we deal with problems and weave it together.. I learned many things from him as well as from myself. What I realized is that we are not ready to begin our life together. I am leaving for Japan in three days and I am happy about it. I learned that masterbation was not the problem but being open and honest was more an issue.. Thanks all.

 
Old 05-02-2011, 10:25 PM   #5
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Re: Boy friend masterbating every morning

Moko,
The simple solution is to help him masturbate ... either before getting out of bed or in the shower with him or right after he gets out of the shower (in front of bathroom mirror is nice)! No need to always do full intercourse .. mix it up !

Now that's something he might like taking about!

 
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Old 05-03-2011, 11:22 AM   #6
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Thumbs up Re: Boy friend masterbating every morning

Quote:
Originally Posted by rbbb View Post
Moko,
The simple solution is to help him masturbate ... either before getting out of bed or in the shower with him or right after he gets out of the shower (in front of bathroom mirror is nice)! No need to always do full intercourse .. mix it up !

Now that's something he might like taking about!
Thank you, rbbb!
I did help him before getting out of bed. Then guess what? He went into the shower, he masterbated again!

Well,.. I quit my very good job, and left my apartment empty, and I flew all the way from my country just to be with him. This is something else.. I guess. As I mentioned in a previous message, I am ready to go home. Only two more days to go... I realized that we are very different. Thank you for your advice.

 
Old 05-03-2011, 11:35 AM   #7
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Re: Boy friend masterbating every morning

Hi moko I'm an asian girl myself and I can undertstand how you feel. If your man masturbates alone while you are there it makes you feel insecure like are you not enough for him? I can understand single men masturbating but why if you have a beautiful sexy woman in your bed with you.I wish you the best and may you find a man who can't get enough of you. What did he say when you told him you we're going back, did he stop you at all?

Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-03-2011 at 08:16 PM.

 
Old 05-03-2011, 11:51 AM   #8
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Re: Boy friend masterbating every morning

Thanks for understanding me..
Actually I can't stay in the U.S. forever because I am not a citizen. He asked me to marry him at the end of March... So I wanted to come back to the U.S. and get marry and get a job and so on. However, I am determined that I won't be back for him. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know how to sacrifice a bit for each other's peace in mind. Moreover, I don't want to give up of my life for dishonest man. Masterbation was a one motivation to think about our whole relationship. It actually was not the main reason why I was disappointed... I just was a blind. But now I got my good pair of eyes back. I still consider him as a nice person and we had such a wonderful time together which I really appreciate... but he is not for me and vice versa.
Anyway...to answer your question, he knew I had to go back to my country from the beginning...

Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-03-2011 at 08:16 PM. Reason: Unnecessary quote removed.

 
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