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Old 06-05-2011, 11:59 AM   #1
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men that don't want to get dirty

My husband doesn't like to touch my vagina or anything in that area. I'm very clean and even shaved to see if that would help. We've been married over 20 years and I'm his first. He has touched me in the past but I could tell he didn't enjoy it. He went to wash his hands as soon he stopped. It interrupts the moment to have to wait while he cleans up so we can have intercourse.
We did talk about this many years ago and he said that's what his penis is for. I was younge and eager to please so I didn't say I'm not touching you because that's what my vagina is for. Now I wish I would have. Not only do I touch him but also give oral often.
I don't have much hope for change but would like others to post if they delt with this. I also wonder if any men could tell where this may have come for. Do boys teach each other in locker rooms that girls really do have cooties?

 
Old 06-05-2011, 01:18 PM   #2
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Re: men that don't want to get dirty

He kind of sounds like my ex-BIL. Although he loved intercourse with his wife, he wouldn't get his face within two feet of her privates. To boot, he'd only put in fingers down there to get her ready and no more, basically are you ready then here I come. He actually thought that whole area was very disgusting. I used to think, it's OK to put a part of your body in it but you won't have anything else to do with it and find it disgusting; how odd. I have no idea where this comes from but like you, I doubt it will ever change. I personally can't relate to his issue as I find the female anatomy quite intriguing and lovely. I could spend quite awhile down there and sometimes do. I feel bad for you as many women find oral one of their most pleasurable sexual things to do (or have done to them in this case).

Either he got some bad information when he was much younger and just can't get it out of his head or a female may have done something to him before he was ready a long time ago. I don't know but I wish you luck with a difficult situation!
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:30 PM   #3
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Re: men that don't want to get dirty

Thank you for the reply/sympathy. The more I look around the internet for other people with this issue I realize how uncommon it is.
I know it could be worse and I'm grateful I can climax during intercourse but I kind of feel like the only kid not invited to the party..

 
Old 06-22-2011, 01:29 PM   #4
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Re: men that don't want to get dirty

Two ideas. How about getting it on in a hot tub/bath/shower? No real need to "leave and wash up" in that circumstance.

Or, watch some porn together, preferably one with lots of stuff besides straight intercourse. Maybe he'll get desensitized to the preconceived notion he has about a penis being the only proper thing to touch a vagina.

 
Old 12-31-2011, 04:50 AM   #5
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Re: men that don't want to get dirty

My Husband won't give oral either so I have never had the pleasure - he has not ever said why ... I am fingered but very very occasionally these days and as I have explained in a recent thread I started I have never been penetrated by him ...

I am really saying that I don't have a sexual life at all and don't know what to do about it ... as I am getting more needy and sadly desperate , dreadful admission but truth

This thread has been inactive for some time so might not be relevant to be posting on it as original poster might not read

 
Old 02-01-2012, 04:39 AM   #6
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Re: men that don't want to get dirty

he sounds abit selfish i liked touching and licking my ex cause its about give and take 50/50 and making ya woman happy is it something he doesnt like becuase of a reason? or is it he just selfish because of this you need to talk say about wanting him 2 try or you be doing anything like that with him against just intercourse

 
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:10 AM   #7
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Re: men that don't want to get dirty

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trevor Barker View Post
he sounds abit selfish i liked touching and licking my ex cause its about give and take 50/50 and making ya woman happy is it something he doesnt like becuase of a reason? or is it he just selfish because of this you need to talk say about wanting him 2 try or you be doing anything like that with him against just intercourse

Is this answer a response to me ? If so thank you .
I suppose this sounds unreal to lots of experienced folk who post here but its a genuine post and a problem for me
Well Yes I suppose he is selfish .... I am not sure why he won't he
say that there is an actual reason .. he just has no wish to do so .
Leaving me wondering what it would be like to receive oral ..must be amazing
surely much more intimate than fingering ... it sounds amazing

I have spoken about it at length but dont anymore ... it leaves me craving
and almost wanting to use a surrogate if such a service was available
I know it is in the USA in some areas ... no strings on either side just a service ... have you heard of this ?
Oral is something I really want to experience
Many Thanks

 
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