It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - General Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-05-2011, 05:46 AM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Northampton
Posts: 2
Rohanna HB User
Just found husband used porn

Hello, just don't know what to do and feel horribly dizzy and sick with worry. Last night used husband's computer and history bar showed he had searched for and accessed a porn clip. He kept denying it when I confronted him (calmly), but then got really really nasty including with our youngdaughter. Am I going over the top? He had googled the c..t word to get the results. What do other people think, please? I feel quite ill.

 
Old 07-05-2011, 07:00 AM   #2
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Bend, Oregon USA
Posts: 32
snewb HB Usersnewb HB User
Re: Just found husband used porn

OK I'm a guy but I would sit down with him and have a calm
discussion about your sex life. Things like "do I not interest you anymore"
Maybe over a glass of wine if necessary so you both feel relaxed
to talk about it? On the other hand it could have been just a one time
curiosity thing and he was upset that you mentioned it.
Just my thoughts..

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-05-2011, 10:48 AM   #3
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 422
Whoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB User
Re: Just found husband used porn

I'm pretty sure this topic has been beat to death but I'll be happy to share my thoughts with you. First off, almost all guys look at porn at one time or another in their life. Some are better at hiding it than others. Secondly, even though you may feel like this is a direct shot at you and your relationship, it really isn't anything of the sort. Guys don't always look at porn because they don't desire their mate, it's just one of those things. Men like to look at pretty women with or without their clothes on, end of discussion. Many women will never "get" that fact, but it's true. My advice to you is to make sure it has nothing to do with the state of your relationship, don't be confrontational and maybe ask some questions of him. Try to make it a learning experience for both of you and not a "gotcha" moment. That angle really s*cks and won't accomplish anything!

 
Old 07-06-2011, 02:25 AM   #4
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Northampton
Posts: 2
Rohanna HB User
Re: Just found husband used porn

Thanks; Well, Whoopee, I'm sorry to say that I did make it a confrontational, gotcha moment! 'Bound to happen, wasn't it, because he just did not want to talk.
I appreciate everything everyone says about men and porn; it's the nastiness and the nonchalant attitude towards our relationship I don't get. I feel better for offloading. Sorry if it is the same old, same old, but I really feel much more balanced for your feedback.

 
Old 07-29-2012, 01:12 PM   #5
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 1
quezocotl HB User
Re: Just found husband used porn

Congratulations... your husband is normal. Calm down... if you hassle him about it, you're going to ruin your marriage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohanna View Post
Hello, just don't know what to do and feel horribly dizzy and sick with worry. Last night used husband's computer and history bar showed he had searched for and accessed a porn clip. He kept denying it when I confronted him (calmly), but then got really really nasty including with our youngdaughter. Am I going over the top? He had googled the c..t word to get the results. What do other people think, please? I feel quite ill.

 
Old 07-29-2012, 03:25 PM   #6
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Denmark
Posts: 78
wachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB User
Re: Just found husband used porn

My wife is beautiful and amazing. I still view porn and collect images of nude people. It's a hobby. Much of it isn't even a turn on anymore. It's almost like collecting butterflies or stamps
There is, to me, nothing more fascinating than a well shaped human body. It's mathematical in its beauty. Easy to appreciate but hard to understand.

Almost all men look at porn. Most do it for stimulation and to masturbate. I've done that too. It's normal. We're wired that way. In fact, men are wired to have multiple mates and get around as much as possible. Faulting a man for looking at porn is like faulting him for being the result of a million years of evolution.

It has absolutely nothing to do with you or your marriage. Let him have it and forget about it. He probably got nasty because he didn't know how to explain himself faced with someone disapproving of him. He probably lives in fear of being caught - despite doing the most natural thing in the world for a man.

So take a few steps backwards. Forgive and start over. Tell him you over reacted and you're sorry. He's free to watch porn and you don't mind. It's such a small thing, when what really matters is your relationship

++++++++++++

Gender roles have gotten all mixed up in the last handful of decades. Nothing wrong about that in itself, but until physical evolution catches up to the mental evolution, we'll still be wired as a result of how things were thousands of years ago.

 
Old 07-31-2012, 02:47 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Chrissy26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 237
Chrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB UserChrissy26 HB User
Re: Just found husband used porn

I can't say all men look at porn bc my husband is one man who doesn't. We both are not interested in porn and that's just as normal as a couple who IS interested in porn. The main thing here is if you are comfortable with it. Do you not mind him looking at it so long as he tells you about it? Or do you not feel comfortable with it despite him being open about it? If you don't like him looking at it no matter what then you have to let him know. If he yells at you for it then he's obviously not respecting your feelings. It makes you feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. That should be more important to him than looking at people he don't even know.

Last edited by Chrissy26; 07-31-2012 at 02:48 PM.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Husband masturbating to porn escalating vulgarity ForYourEyesOnly Sexual Health - General 3 04-11-2011 03:02 AM
Husband's sex addiction. angieishurting Sexual Health - General 27 03-02-2009 11:36 AM
is my husband lying when he says he doesn't have any sexual fantasies? Kooansha Sexual Health - General 11 01-17-2009 03:01 PM
Husband is having web cam porn girlfriends carol222 Sexual Health - General 67 04-26-2008 07:22 PM
Husband refuses to stop going on internet porn sites nikita08 Sexual Health - General 14 03-31-2008 04:24 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



lenvegas (12), rosequartz (8), writeleft (6), Kszan (5), Titchou (4), Kali333 (4), solofelix (4), captjane (4), Tivo123 (4), ladybud (4)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (999), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (667), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:24 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!