need guy advice - Sexual Health - General Message Board

maybelle · 08-15-2002, 01:37 AM

Just wondering if guys that are "spontaneous" and not into planning dates are in general leaning on the player mentality???

gwle · 08-15-2002, 09:07 AM

Not necessarily. Some are just spontaneous, spur of the moment kind of guys. Some are just indecisive and not so good at dating. Then some are players.

F-Man · 08-15-2002, 05:03 PM

Could be, but everyone is different. I'd say if its someone you've gone out with a few times and he still doesn't want to make specific plans, I'd take that as a sign that he's keeping his options open, and not looking for anything serious with you, at least for now. That doesn't necessarily mean he's a "player" though.

Maybe he just has an unpredictable work schedule or something so doesn't make specific plans for anything. Some people just don't like to plan anything, including dates. Maybe thats all it is.

maybelle · 08-15-2002, 05:38 PM

Hi F-man,

You sound like a very intelligent person, so I'm asking your advice again one more time. Actually to clarify- I have liked this one guy for sometime- but he was in the east coast so we could not see each other- well he came back a few days ago and wanted to get together that night. Well that day I didn't take a shower or wash my hair so I really couldn't see him that night as it was already around 9:00 when he called - so I said lets meet tommorrow instead. He said he is again going to the east coast for about two weeks and then will be back for good. So I said sorry but that I would plan something really special when he did come back. He said "planning I'am not into that- I just want to go with the flow". So he didn't accept my offer- not that we won't go out when he does come back but why did he just shrug off my proposal?? So that was sort of a red flag to me because I was with a previous guy who didn't want to plan dates and just called me the day he wanted to see me- turned out he didn't want to be serious. So thats why I'm concerned. Should I be??? If anyone has really good insight- let me know your thoughts. But I guess I'll get my answer when he comes back and we go out a few times. Thanks

MelNor · 08-15-2002, 08:00 PM

Hi...possibly he just got his feelings hurt a little cause he might have seen his first invitation as a turn down by you. So in turn he left you hanging...I would bet he didn't want to hurt you, just protecting himself..if u know what I mean?

We humans hate rejection...keep in mind how you are feeling about how he wouldn't confirm a date...maybe he seen your first turn down the same way!