Depression, sex, and marriage - Sexual Health - General Message Board

Palomeno18 · 08-25-2002, 08:55 AM

Hey all. Because of my depression, my marriage is falling a part. I have done everything I can to make it work but I think it's not enough. S*x has become a big problem for us. I do not want to have it but my husband does. Well he is upset about it and mad at me, and I feel soo alone and like I have so much responsibilty. It has become a chore and depression has sucked the desire to out of me. How can I get him to understand me? To wait for me while I fight this depression? I feel sooo alone and that I am fighting this battle all alone. Someone please help me.

Blastoff9600 · 08-25-2002, 10:40 AM

Your best bet is to get into marriage counseling or have your husband go with you to see your doctor. Talk to your doctor before hand and let him know that you want your husband with you on the visit. Encourage your husband to ask your doctor questions about what is going on with you and how depression effects people.
That is if you are seeing a doctor about your depression....

Snagglepuss · 08-25-2002, 10:58 AM

my advice would be to get some depression pills. they actually really help they bring u back to ur happy place

F-Man · 08-25-2002, 11:48 AM

I hope you're seeing a doctor about the depression. Depression is a medical condition. As the other poster suggested, it would be a good idea to bring your husband with you to your doctor's appointments. Marriage counseling would probably help as well. There are professionals who deal with kind of stuff all the time. Benefit from their experience.

scbagrrrl · 08-25-2002, 03:34 PM

Be aware that most of the depression meds actually cause a decrease in sexual desire. I think the only one that doesn't is Wellbutrin. Since you are a partnership - I certainly would encourage both of you to get into counseling. Obviously, as a couple, you guys can't fix it by yourself and need some additional support.

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Maybe having your husband take some baby steps would help you - maybe he could seduce you one night - a long bubble bath with rose petals and candlelight. He could make it a sensual - not a sexual - experience. Think of it as revving your engine. Perhaps he's got to realize that he's going to need to work a little harder to entice you. If he shows you how much he wants you by putting in so much effort, maybe it will make you feel a little better to be so desired.

Taking off my pseudo-sex-therapist hat.
Keep us posted. Keep your chin up.