uh oh - Sexual Health - General Message Board

gem2000 · 09-17-2002, 02:33 AM

Hi Guys,

I have a problem. My friends with benefits situation has taken a turn for the worse. FOr those of you who do not know, we were FWB for about 6 months and I ended up falling for him badly. He went away for the summer and I never heard from him. Somehow I ended up spending the night with a friend of his in my FWB's room. Another mutual friend found out about it and was really mad. He said he was mad because it was his friend, but I think it has more to do with the fact that the two of us had been good friends as well but I stopped it from going further.Anyway, this friend told my FWB what happened before I had a chance to tell him ( I had every intention of doing so) and my FWB was very mad understandably. I have apologized. The problem is they told all of our mutual male friends and now all his buddies are treating me like I do not exist. I feel terrible about it, but my FWB also treated me really badly in the past so I do not want to get down on my hands and knees for him.Also, my FWB does not seem to realize that his friend (once my good friend) isn't just looking out for his buddy. He put the moves on me himself a week before this incident happened, and I know my FWB doesn't know that. Anyway, how the hell do I get myself out of this? From a guy's point of view, are they going to be like this forever? I just hate making enemies. I know this is really insignificant when it comes right down to it, I have a lot better things to worry about but I do care for my FWB alot and do feel bad about this whole thing.

Fantaseee · 09-17-2002, 06:11 AM

oooh as i was reading that i had a grimace on my face, you have got yrself into a predicament that is gonna be difficult to get out of without some rep damage.

heres my opinion. he was getting a very good deal when he was with you, great friend with sex thrown in but no commitment. I imagine he had respect for you and maybe thort that at some point it might nove into a g/f b/f situation. the main point here is you had something special happening between you and him. By sleeping with his friend you have become more easy in his eyes and have basically lost yr sparkle. This is really **** but its like anything, you have something yr mates don't and they want you feel pretty special, directly yr mates get it too its just another thing amongst many others.

I wish i could turn back the clock 4 you but i can't. For some reason it is still more acceptable 4 men to sleep around and yet if women have casual sex we're ****s. If it were me, id say i was drunk i regreted it, but if yr relationship meant something to him he'd work through the anger he has with you rite now and hopefully get back to where u were with him. If you really want it to work out with him i would not go out with any other guys rite now, put yr mind into yr work or other activities.

Good luck x