need advice on a man - Sexual Health - General Message Board

sherrie · 09-29-2002, 12:20 AM

I just need some advice. I went out with this guy- I feel sorta confused at this point. He is a very touchy feely kinda person... so he held my hand, hugged me, put his arms around me... I was very turned on by his moves throughtout the day.. I mean he is what I would consider a good looking guy and he is well built and works out and everything. BUT the problem is that now I am a bit confused. I am not mentally turned on by him.. he has a very thick accent and at this point I think he is sort of weird I guess you could say. I think what I am trying to ask is can you be phsically turned on by a guy and not be mentally turned on, infact I am in a way mentally turned off.. The quys that I were physically attracted to, I was never turned off by their personality. I always thought that the two were suppose to go hand in hand..thats how it always happened to be in the past. Maybe I am not giving this guy enough of a chance.. I don't know. Has this happened to anyone else? thanks- Which is more important if you could only have one???

Fantaseee · 09-29-2002, 12:44 AM

I think mental stimulation every time. I find if a man can make me laughand generally enjoy myself then he becomes more attractive physically to me. I really think yr starting at a disadvantage as IMO you will only start getting more turned off by him, ie his physical self will not be enough for you, and that leaves you no where to go.

Just to contradict myself somewhat, are you sure he wasn't just acting a bit weird because he might have bee nnervous for example? it would be a shame to not give him a chance if his personality hasn't really been giving enough opportunity to shine.

kama2080 · 09-29-2002, 09:38 AM

A guy definitely needs to stimulate me mentally, to REALLY stimulate me sexually. The best sex I've ever had was with a guy that made me laugh and talked to me before, during, and after sex. If the guy can't do that, in my opinion, it's not even worth it.

Kat

sherrie · 09-29-2002, 05:08 PM

Hi, Thanks for your guys advice. Well actually we talked on the phone for about 2 months before we met. I did not find him interesting on the phone, but thought I would give it a chance to see if things were different in person.. He is a really nice guy and turns me on physically, but not mentally... is that possible? ANy experiences out there?

magee · 09-29-2002, 11:03 PM

Yes, I dated a guy for a while who I was attracted to physically, but not mentally. We were totally different, and, like you, I thought he was a little weird. There were some things about him that I didn't like. Not bad things, but things that were just different from me. Physically, though, it was great. We had a great time sexually, but other than that, he sort of annoyed me. Finally, he broke it off, and it was because although we had it going on in the sack, there wasn't really much else between us. At the time I would have been content to let it go on, because the sex was great. I don't think he was comfortable with that. He was a romantic type who would have preferred something more meaningful. He told me he thought he was falling in love with me, and for the wrong reasons. He was right. If we had let the physical attraction and great sex fool us into thinking we were in love, eventually down the road we would have been miserable.