I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now and I have noticed that he is hesitant to give me oral pleasure. He will only do this rarely and if I ask. Last night I brought this up and he said that with his past girlfriends (he has had several serious relationships) he has never had to do this. I don't know what these past girlfriends were thinking, but I for one need oral stimulation to get aroused. I told him this and he said that going down on a girl doesn't turn him on. I don't understand this because I know that I have good hygiene and I am always shaved and clean.
To make matters worse, I am more than happy to go down on him (which I do quite often) because I know it makes him feel good, which arouses me as well.
What can I do? We have talked about this but still no oral action!
I would ask him what exactly does he not like about it. There are a lot of men who don't like giving oral sex even if the woman is clean and trim. Some just don't like the taste. Others find it degrading. And some just don't like it cause they're not getting any stimulation at the same time. There are a number of reasons why he may not like it and you need to get the specifics.
Depends what he doesn't like about it. If it's the taste, then maybe you could try using food or something that improves the taste. But in most cases, if a guy doesn't like it, there's little you can do to change his mind.
The only thing is that I don't think it is fair for me to put my desires on hold. It is very hard for me to reach orgasm without oral sex. And honestly, I don't think it is too much to ask of him. It is not like a strange fetish or somehthing...it is a pretty standard sexual practice.
I think he is being selfish by not giving you oral. If he thinks it is degrading - then what is his opinion of women in general??? Is it a part of his religion?? If he is not giving you any - then I think it would only be fair of you not to give him any either. You are not his sex slave.
[This message has been edited by sherrie (edited 11-14-2002).]
I don't think he is against it for any particular reason. Here is what I think. His girlfriends in the past never spoke up and asked him to do it. So he kept getting away with not doing it. We talked about it a little more and I think that he will go down on me because he does care about making me feel good. But if he does, I just worry that the whole time he is thinking that its disgusting. So if I am worrying the whole time, there is no way I will be able to have an orgasm! What a dilema!
Not to defend him, cause I don't see why he doesn't like it, but try to look at the situation in reverse. Suppose your partner asked you to do something to him that you found disgusting. Would you still do it? Sure you can tell yourself that you're doing it to please your partner but then doesn't sex stop being fun for you now that you're doing something you don't like? I'm not saying you should stop asking him to do it. I'm just saying that you should think about whether it's right to pressure him into doing something he doesn't like and think about how you would react if he did the same to you. After all, you don't want to create any resentment.
I understand what you are saying. However, I think that Teabiscuit does not enjoy giving her guy oral sex that much either.. I mean for most who women enjoy it, its mostly due in part to making their men feel good and likewise for men. I think that if he is expecting his girlfriend to give him oral sex than he should out of descency do the same for her, otherwise its just pure selfishness on his part. He obviously finds it disgusting- hmmm... does he just all of a sudden forget that its a disgusting act when its his turn? Or does he just think that a women putting her mouth in a guys penis must just be so enjoyable for the women? If he were so truely disgusted by the act of having a mouth on someone elses privates, then he would not want it done on himself either.. right? because the act is so disgusting in and of itself.. but that is not the case here, so he is just pure selfish in my opinion.
[This message has been edited by sherrie (edited 11-15-2002).]
[This message has been edited by sherrie (edited 11-15-2002).]
I don't really like going down on my guy, but I always find that when we do a 69 position, we are both turned on way more than if one of us were performing alone. So maybe you can suggest this and you will both get some arousal.
I have been reading this post for a week now and I have to finally post this first of all oral sex is not for everyone but I haven't heard of to many men that don't enjoy it..secondly I haven't been able to have a fullfilling sex life when it comes to penatration probably spelled wrong lol.. so oral sex became very special and important for me.. and lastly you two may not be as sexual as the other its important for both partners to have the same or at least close to the same sexual appetite I dated a guy who is now my best friend and he liked sex but not as much as I did and I as always affectionate with him and I never knew when he was in the mood... oral sex for me to do to the guy well I admit before my hormones changed after my full hysterectomy I loved it for all the wrong reasons I didn't treat it as special thats my past and I admit also I was very wild and did a lot of crazy things..but I will tell you this don't give him oral sex if you don't' feel comfortable because to many men I have been with and dated have been more than willing to let me go down on them but then when it came to me it was like oh no not me.... my mother always tells me and some men/women may not agree with this statement but the man should really want to please his lady first and should really feel good just knowing she is aroused.. well please post to this and whoever else wants to thanks...
The problem is that people act like oral sex should be traded. In other words, you do it for me and I'll do it for you. But I think you should treat the two acts completely separate and just ask one simple question. Does the person giving it enjoy it too? If not, then don't do it. I happen to enjoy giving oral sex to a woman, but if I was with a woman who didn't like giving it, it's not like I'd suddenly refrain from giving her oral. I think it's wrong to do something just to make your partner happy or as an incentive to get them to do something you like. If you don't like it, then don't do it. As for whether TeaBiscut likes to give oral to her BF or if she does it to get him to do the same to her, I don't know. I don't think she said anything about that. But if she's doing it just to make him happy and she gets no pleasure out of it, then I think she shouldn't bother. She should only do the stuff she enjoys and not just to please her BF.