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Old 02-13-2003, 11:53 AM   #1
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stardust_blu HB User
Angry Why does my bf keep getting limp during sex

Recently started happening. We'll be going at it and then suddently he's limp! He says that he has to stop for a moment to keep from ejaculating. He stops a few time and then around after the 3-4 time's it's gone. Any possible reasons? Is this a side affect from a drug? I should explain that in the 4 years we've been dating, I've not had an orgasm, and he doesn't last that long.


[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 02-13-2003).]

 
Old 02-13-2003, 12:58 PM   #2
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It sounds like if he didn't try to stop or hold back from ejaculating, he wouldn't lose the erection, but rather simply ejaculate very quickly. Pre-mature (you didn't mention how quickly, but I believe there is a guide line to be considered pre-mature) ejaculation is a very common problem in men.

I would think that he has no "plumbing" types of erectile difficulties, but rather when he is so struggling to hold of his orgasm, he has to shift his focus on not coming rather than just enjoying sex.
Doing this repeatedly during one session of intercourse could indeed cause him to go limp given that he (through concentrating on not coming so fast) may be interupting the neurological pathway that is important to get and maintain an erection.

Therefore, the guy simply has some pre-mature ejaculation issues (there are a number of ways that he can try to improve on this. Do a web search for some info)

NOTE: Many of the SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) anti-depressants such as Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, and Celexa have the normally unwanted side-effect of delaying ejaculation in men. It takes men without pre-mature ejaculation alot longer to orgasm when on these meds. So long, that they may not be able to ejaculate.

HOWEVER, they have been proven effective in treating men that have pre-mature ejaculation issues. This allows they to delay ejaculation to a more "normal" or prolonged period of time. He may wish to try it.

NOTE: He should ASK his doctor for a prescription of one of them, maybe Prozac or Celexa, but Paxil has proven the "worst" in terms of ejaculation delay etc.

He should tell his doctor that the pre-mature ejaculation has been a problem in his relationship and he would like to try an SSRI to help with this matter. If the general practitioner is unwilling to do this, he can see a psychologist, who will be experienced in these matters.

Good luck, but also check out other methods via some internet searches. Also, you'll learn just how common a problem it can be for many men out there.

Try to be supportive, and you'll both get through it and move on.


 
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Old 02-13-2003, 01:21 PM   #3
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It would be best for him to 'train' himself to go longer and longer without needing to ejaculate -- rather than to medicate it away.

 
Old 02-13-2003, 01:52 PM   #4
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Thanks for your detailed response. I don't usually say anything, but he notices when it's "Too Quick." After we make love, he complaines, not me. However, last night I did get openly upset because I'm not sure if the problem is him or me. He's always in the mood, so I didn't think it was me. I've told him to exercise his "PCV" (sp?) muscle by stopping urination in mid streem. I'll keep looking. He's going to the gym lately, and I know that some of his friends to steriods. Although he denies, and knows I'll leave him if he does, I'm wondering if this is a side effect to that?

 
Old 02-13-2003, 06:54 PM   #5
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Yeah, watch for signs of steroid use. If you don't know what you're doing, you can really damage your body (not that one should do them in the first place, but you could get pretty sophisticated with regards to properly cycling etc. if you're educated)

I do agree with Wrin. It would be best to try to get a handle on his situation naturally. But, if it really becomes a problem in the relationship and the other methods don't work, I see nothing wrong with taking a very tolerable and safe form of antidepressant to assist.

 
Old 02-14-2003, 10:57 PM   #6
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stardustblu - it is the pc muscle. It is the muscle that one contracts while stoppping to urinate. That is just the mechanism of finding it. One can practice it at any time by squeezing it.
Women can also squeeze it - imagine u push a small finger inside u and u want to squeeze it. The excercice makes loose women more tight .Try to squeeze it when he is inside u . It can make it more pleasurable for him and for u.

 
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