Husband has been Viewing Gay Porn - Sexual Health - General Message Board

Unhappy Wife · 03-06-2003, 03:37 PM

I have been married (I thought happily)for 10 years and have 3 kids. My husband and I have a good sex life and are both attractive people. He works alot and has spent numerous hours on the computer in our home office. I thought this was for work until I was on his computer today and found a history of gay porn websites that was NEVER-ENDING. No women, just men. I feel hurt, angry, sick - you name it! What does this mean? I am too close to this to even begin to know how to react.

I do not want to confront him. He is a "macho" man, and has been even borderline ****-phobic. He is a very intense person and I feel confronting him may drive him to a drinking binge and violent behavior. Any thoughts please????

-Not Happy Anymore

test

[This message has been edited by Unhappy Wife (edited 03-11-2003).]

Dramaqueen · 03-06-2003, 05:33 PM

Aww you poor thing, must have given you quite a shock finding that!

Now, are you sure it is definately him? Your kids and their friends have no access to this computer? If it is, well you will have to confront him eventually. Maybe hes just really curious. Maybe it just turns him on, even though he is happily married to you.

Whatever it is, sometime your going to have to ask him about it...and all I can really say is good luck.

tinkers · 03-06-2003, 06:37 PM

Dramaqueen is right. You need to confront him. Maybe one of your kids an his friends thought that the gay porn was funny, and they are the ones that found those sites.
Tink

stephenmv · 03-06-2003, 07:33 PM

Thisby · 03-06-2003, 10:11 PM

If you're able to check the frequence of his visits to these web sites, it might give you an idea of whether he's just curious or a confirmed fan. It's possible that it was "accidental" that there was so much of it, because porn sites are notorious for popping up all sorts of unwanted windows that will show up on your history list whether you clicked on them or not, whether you were interested in it or not. And it's hard not to keep looking! If it was just the one time, chalk it up to curiosity (and I think a lot of men are curious about gay sex, even if it is just to go "eww!", but if he keeps going back and maybe starts adding bookmarks, then I think it might be time to ask him about it.

(And personally, stephenmv, I would be much more worried that my husband was gay than looking at female porn, cuz if my husband turned out to be gay, there is NO WAY he's happy with me. At least if he's looking at women, I'm still in the running...)