Perhaps you just like masturbating better. Believe it or not, contrary to popular belief, a LOT of people like sex, but not as much as say, in your case, masturbating, or oral (for a male or a female). I have known a couple of guys who like recieving oral sex better than actual intercourse, even though they still like having sex. Masturbation is only better to a certain extent, because you know what feels the best. It takes awhile for your partner to master that. I know when one masturbates, at some point they think, if you're a girl, "I wish a guy was doing this" or vice versa. Next time you have sex, maybe try a different position or something. Spice up your sex life, make it more fun and interesting. I'm sure you will find that with all the millions of possibilities you can do while in the act, you will quickly begin to enjoy it more Hope this helps!
[This message has been edited by SimplePleasures* (edited 05-22-2003).]
Okay, that rules out the standard answer for women.
Whoever told you you are probably accustomed to masturbation was probably right. I'm guessing you've probably mastered one particular method of getting yourself off in the most efficient manner, and the chances of intercourse (or even a hand or blow job from a partner) being able to match that particular style is pretty slim. As for what to do about it, you could start with varying your masturbation technique. I've heard that that's a good idea in general (for both men and women) so that you don't become too tied to one particular form of stimulation.
Of course, there is the possibility that the sex just wasn't very good. (Since you didn't actually say why it wasn't as good as masturbating.) So maybe once you've had some more practice at it, find a better position, get a better rhythm going, who knows, it might get a lot better.
Yeah what I feel is lack of preasure on my penis, I mean I don't feel it gets too tight so therefore it doesn't get as stimulated, but perhaps is that when I masturbated I used lots of preasure on it. I am trying not to masturbate however it is quite difficult since my gf and I only have sex once every week or other week.
try using lubricant and, if she's up to it and I would HIGHLY recommend it, she can actually strengthen her vaginal muscles (so she can exert more pressure) by doing kegel exercises with progressive resistance. The best exercise device I've found is called the KegelMaster. I don't know if I'm allowed to write this but I found a good deal on one at [deleted] Anyway, if she does use it, the benefits will be TREMENDOUS for her (I've started having vaginal orgasms and also ejaculating and my libido has gone way wya up) and your experience will be better too...she'll feel much tighter and will have a lot more control so she'll actually be able to pull/squeeze you when you're inside of her.
hope it helps. good luck.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 11-30-2003 at 01:45 PM.
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I have this problem, its even more profound when using condoms. I have to be very active to stimulate myself and I'm not a very aggressive masturbator so I dont think its that. I can feel motion but nothing I'd call special, I can still orgasm when Im being active enough, but figure I'm missing something.
A number of first-timers say this same thing - they expect intercourse to be a really big deal based upon all the hype when really all it is is a way to perpetuate the species. As with many things in life, doing the real thing is not always as much fun as dreaming about it.
That said, it should still be fun and enjoyable. If you used condoms (and I hope you did), they may very well be causing a lack of sensitivity. I have recently read in a men's health magazine (capatilize the M and the H and you will have the name) either the Nov or Dec issue, that there is a company selling custom-fitted condoms that are said to make an amazing difference. You might check up on that. Other suggestions are to apply some lube to the head of your penis prior to rolling on the condom, which should allow for the latex to run back and forth and apply some extra friction. If you are not concerned about viral STDs (HPV, HSV and HIV), the natural skin condoms are great, and some of new plastic types are very good (and they protect against viruses). If still available, the female condom should be very good, though you have to supply your own lubrication.
Finally, the male hand can provide far more clamping pressure than the female vagina, and you may be accustomed to this tighter feel, so you may wish to start using a lighter touch when going solo.
Hope this helps. Oh, and experience helps. The frist few times can be awkard. As you two learn about each other, it should get better - but possibly never as good as what you dreamed.