I haven't enjoyed sex since before my pregnancy. - Sexual Health - General Message Board

RobinF · 08-23-2003, 04:49 PM

I was already uncomfortable with the whole idea of having sex while I was pregnant, but when I was about 11 weeks and we went for my first ultrasound my husband brought up the inevitable question of whether or not it was ok. My doctor told me that it was my responsibility to keep my husband up with 'maintenance sex.' It was bad enough that he said it, but he said it in front of my husband, which made him feel like it was ok to push me into having intercourse when I really wasn't comfortable with it. We never went back to that doctor,(for obvious reasons) but I still felt like what he said was hanging over my head. Needless to say, I have never felt comfortable having sex since. I used to be a very sexual person, and now it feels like more of an obligation. It might start out as an act of romance, but after only a few minutes, I just wish that it was over. My son is now 13 months old and I still can't enjoy sex. I thought that by now at least I would have some sort of sexual appetite, but to be honest I would rather sleep. I love my husband very much, and find him extremely attractive and sexy, but I don't want to have sex with him. Or anybody for that matter. He still is a very sexual person, and I know that he want's to have sex a lot more often, but I don't know what to do, or even how to explain myself to him. And if he doesn't stop humping my leg, I'm going to throw him in a box. I don't know what to do. Is there anyone else out there like me? Can anyone help?

mlgable · 08-23-2003, 06:20 PM

The first thing you need to do is see your doc for a thorough physical examination and then mention your problems to him and ask for his help. Also be sure sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. Tell him exactly what you said here that you love him and find him sexy and attractive but you just are not interested in sex yet and you will be going to the docs soon to try to find out what it going on. You might have some hormones out of whack or it may be something else but be sure you communicate everything to your husband. If you are comfy with having hubby with you at the doc by all means bring him along.

RobinF · 08-28-2003, 10:49 PM

I hear ya...But the worst of it is that I am only 24 and my husband is 28. I'm certainly not going to leave him for something like this. It's just as much my problem as his...probably more. But for how long can this go on? Will I be forced to spend the rest of my life at the edge of the bed for fear of the wandering hand? I definately don't think that divorce is an option but a last resort, and this is maybe a 3 problem on a 1-10 scale, but how can I live like this? I used to love sex. And I actually crave it sometimes, but just the romantic, dreamy fantasy part of it. Not the physical. I wonder if it is hormonal... All I know is that I want a healthy sex life back. Not like rabbits or anything, but I honestly can't remember when we last had sex, much less made love. That's kinda sad huh?

divineimage · 08-29-2003, 08:56 AM

How incredibly sad that you feel the way you do.
As i read the posts here it is clear that several of you have other issues that are affecting your ability to want and enjoy sex.
First the emotional issues of why you are not turned on need to be addressed.
Second MOST Women do not realize that they need to
clear their passages. I suspect that you have not enjoyed a full body orgasm if you have had one at all.
There are ways to correct this but they won't let me plug the solution here

hapa · 09-05-2003, 09:25 AM

Are you women crazy? You can have sex and don't want to?!

I totally agree with divine, this is too sad. I can't believe you are all having a hard time deciding whether to have sex or if you like it or not. The poor husbands too! It's not fair to reject them like that, especially when you are able to have sex....I'm 28 and was diagnosed with incurable vestibulitis at the age of 21. In other words, I was told I could never have sex again for the rest of my life. I've been married for 6 years and we have a completely platonic relationship, only we want very much to be intimate but can't! We still haven't even consummated our marriage. Can you imagine avoiding cuddling or kissing your man just because it may lead to sex? Can you imagine swearing to a life of celebesy against your will? Honey, you have no idea what it's like....
You are crazy, woman. Start counting your blessings and go have sex with your man, for God's sakes!!!!! Life is way too short and you may never know if something will happen, God forbid.
To me you are the luckiest women in the world to have a healthy, sexual body with healthy sexual organs and who can have sex whenever you please. I would give anything in my power, all that I have, just to trade places with you for one day.