I am 21 and have never been on a date, never done anything, not even hold hands, and never interested in any "real" guys (just fantasy of unusual types). I don't have very good impressions of men. The ones I have been around are mostly sexist and racist types. There are so many stats on rape that bother me, things like 1 of 4 girls get assualted and 50% of men said they would rape if there would be no punishment. I am not very close or affectionate to anyone, so the idea of sex and closeness goes against my personality. I wondered if I was gay but there is no attraction to females at all. I don't really believe in marriage or monogamy for me. However I am curious about the dating thing, though it seems I'm too inexperienced to try. It would be hard, being suspicious and lacking emotion, to try. I am not even sure why I want to try, maybe it's from social ideas and I am trying to appear more "normal".
How many men actually are not sexist, and not violent? A lot say they are not like this, but are easily caught contradicting themselves. I have met a few who really seemed to not have these traits, but this is a small percentage to the scary or disturbing ones I have found.
Not all men are the same. There are rats and there are angels. The statistics are scary, for sure, but just because 1 in 4 women is likely to be assaulted once over the course of her lifetime, does not mean 1 in 4 men are doing the assaulting. And there are a lot of things people would do if there were no consequences. Fortunately there are, and most men have some moral standards. You just have to find out what they are and go from there (that's what dating is for). If you want to live in fear, that is your choice, but I would rather take a risk and hope for a decent man than never have anything.
Also, there are certain factors and behaviors that contribute to the likelihood of being assaulted and if you take reasonable precautions, you can pretty much avoid certain types of assaults. For example, young people (children) are easier targets. You are an adult now, so that works to your advantage.
If you really have no desire to have a relationship with a man, then this isn't much of an issue, but if you do think you would like one, but your fear is stopping you, you really should try to do something about it.
Oh, and as for "how many men actually are not sexist?". Probably none. And we women can be as sexist as them, as your question shows. I have heard the most sexist things come out of my most non-sexist male friends mouths. We all slip up once in a while. You have to give some leeway.
I am a man and happily married, I understand your anxiety to step into the dating scene. People are People, there are bad ones there are good ones and there in between ones. The question is who is the kind of guy you think you would like. I'd write down characteristics that you like about a man and and go looking. Look for that person and don't settle for less. Now remember everyone is not perfect, but find somebody who is trying to be the best they can be. Now I think another problem women find in their relationships is where they find guys. Now your probably not going to find this romantic, self motivated, well rounded, respectful guy at the local bar, or dance club. Most guys there are just looking for some instant lovin'. I found my wife at church. I'd look for a guy in places that you like to be. There are a ton of guys out there that are looking for the same type of girl. I know a lot of them, that and we're not all stick in the muds, if anything we have to be pretty creative because we don't want to fall in the same old guy mold. Just got to look in the right place.
Well, do you have any women friends? If not, you certainly are a loner! Talk to another woman about her experiences with men. Maybe they haven't always been happy, but I'd bet there aren't many women around age 21 who plan to give up men for a lifetime! But if you can, talk to someone who's happily been with the same man for a few years, and ask about issues of respect and trust, and how she feels about him. Maybe she's had incidents where one of them has hurt the other but they've managed to forgive and keep the relationship alive. The point being, that men and women can be happy together and even if one of them does something wrong, staying together can still be worth it. You seem to have a much clearer view of the negatives than the positives.
I'm a rape survivor and I've been in other abusive relationships; still, I didn't exclude men forever in my life. I'm now married to the most wonderful guy in the world and have a very loving, healthy relationship. Even if you get burned over and over, still keep trying, because in the end, it's worth it. There is real love out there!
scared of men 
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