What's wrong - Sexual Health - General Message Board

marie9978 · 09-08-2003, 08:24 PM

Hi there everyone,
I have a question, well 2 if I can. I have been married for 1 year me and my husband used to have lots of sex now ...hhuummm may I say what is sex?? I know that right now he is working hard to achieve a gold for work but what really pis...me off is that for exemple. Tonight I ask him to come to bed early so we could get at it. But his answer was well I'm watching wrestling and when it will be finish I will be to tired and will want to go to bed. He did mention that if I wanted some I could come during wrestling and he could turn off the TV. I don't want a quicky , I want to be touch and cuddle. Plus the other night well 2 nights ago I went to bed early and I ask him to come to he told me he was to tired for anything ...I was so mad I couldn't sleep and came down 30 min. later to catch him masturbating!!! What is wrong he has time for TV, PC and masturbating but not for his wife?? That was my first question now here is a easy one, For all you married people out there what is the average time you guys have sex in a week.
Thanks in advance to all of you My first question is really concerning me.

beanies31 · 09-08-2003, 09:39 PM

You mentioned your husband is busy at work, maybe he is just stressed out and just needs some time. As for the masterbating part, I don't know. Why not ask him? My hubby and I go through phases, it just depends what is happening in our lives. Sometimes it's 4 times a week and sometimes were lucky if we can make hte time to make love 4 times a month. I would ask him,

mlgable · 09-08-2003, 11:47 PM

You need to sit down and ask you husband what he is feeling and what is going on that has decreased his interest in you. If he is in the mood to masturbate then it doesn't sound like his sex drive is a big problem. There are tons of things that could be going on but the only way to know is to sit down and talk to him and work out a compromise. Maybe he is into things along the BDSM line and doesn't know how to approach you about it or maybe he is an early morning man while you want sex at night. The list could go on and on but you need to talk with your hubby and find out just what is going on in his mind.

Rikimaru · 09-09-2003, 11:27 AM

If things are stressful right now, it's understandable that he might want some time to himself for TV, email, video games.. whatever he does to unwind. But, if he's spending all evening doing those things, and not spending time with you, then it sounds like he might need to learn to compromise.

Speaking from experience, I just started a new job. There are some nights I'd love nothing more than to be able to watch TV, play some games, and go to bed early. But, if my wife is feeling amorous, I know I need to give her some attention. Even if I'm too tired overall to really have a great sex session, I'll let her know I'm a bit tired, but I won't withhold being affectionate. I also tell her "I'm probably a bit too tired, but I'm not going to rule things out." Sometimes we'll just content ourselves to be affectionate.. and if it develops into something more frisky, hooray for us. If not... we still have that time together.

So, it's a two-way street. Yeah, you have to be a bit understanding if he's under a lot of stress. But, if he's spending all of his time indulging his interests, and not spending time with you, then there's at least the problem of him being selfish.

Audrey-B · 09-10-2003, 06:10 AM

I think the point marie is trying to make is that sure her husband might be tired to do anything sexual with her, yet she catches him out masterbating on the couch while watching tv. Sure tiredness can affect the libido, but if he's masterbating then he's still got a libido.

Loads of guys would love for their partner to be chasing them for sex. The only person who can answer your queries is your husband himself so talk to him first and see what he says. Talk nicely with him, don't be accusing and angry b/c he'll probably become upset and stubborn then, which wont get you anywhere.