Husband a sex addict? - Sexual Health - General Message Board

4mygirls3 · 08-25-2003, 07:09 AM

Hi
My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years and he wants to start swinging. He wants me to have sex with another man. I found a man I liked and set up a meeting but my husband took over and it wasent a plesent exp. for me. He told the man what to do and held me so i could not move so the man could touch me. It was not necessary I would have let him.
Anyways. He trys to make me feel good when we have sex but he allways takes over and I end up finishing myself. He is in such a big hurry. Even with that man. I guess what Im asking is it normal. Should we seek help. I am not much on swinging and having sex with other people but it would make him happy but am I just sending us to an early grave?

ladybug _crazy · 08-25-2003, 10:28 AM

i'm sorry you had such a bad experience. it is not normal for someone to make you do things you don't want to!!! i would suggest counseling.... it doesn't sound like your husband is a sex addict...it sounds like you husband has control issues or a a 'control freak' as some people say.

[This message has been edited by ladybug _crazy (edited 08-25-2003).]

Magnetic · 08-26-2003, 07:01 PM

Well, that was close to rape!

Swing only if you want to. If he is going to hold you down and control things, that is deviate sexual behavior and must not be condoned.

Also, swinging involves complete couples, not a three way. He should be having fun with another female while you have fun with another male. I would say if he was a "sex addict", he would be wanting sex with other women, not to hold you down so a man could have sex with you.

You need to have a talk and sort out your own feelings. If you don't mind having sex with other men in a three way, fine, but find out what HE really wants. If a three way is fine with you, make him understand he can't control you. If he wants a fourway, make sure he won't try to control everything. A thought - maybe he is trying to control you to make sure you don't emjoy it too much. I mean, he must get off on seeing you have sex with another, but he might get jealous if he thinks you are attracted to the man and are having fun.

You might want to fill us in on some more details.

hapa · 09-05-2003, 09:36 AM

This is horrible, I'm so sorry! Yes, that sounds like rape to me...as a rape survivor, I'm appalled.

big boy · 09-11-2003, 11:27 PM

you shouldnt swing. thats adultry. if i was married, and my wife asked me to swing, it would be over. or if she EVER cheated on me. swinging isnt good for the relationship. he needs to be faithful to you. you should he his only one. theres my opinion.

[This message has been edited by big boy (edited 09-12-2003).]