Silent During Sex! - Sexual Health - General Message Board

Miss Independent · 09-06-2003, 10:01 AM

So I had sex with a current partner for the first time last night and he is a very talkative person but as soon as we started engaging in activity he shut up, now Im not one to start talking about my shopping or anything but I sure as hell make appreciative noises during sex!

He was silent! For the entire time! Not a peep! Thats enough to make a girl VERY paranoid for one and also I'd like the return of some appreciated noises so I can figure out what he likes and what he doesnt like etc.

Yes, I could talk to him about this, and Im sure I will, so what I was wondering from here is there any guys who are silent during sex or any women who have shared the same experience?

Im sure as hell it wasnt because he was shy or embarassed either.

fairiegoddess · 09-06-2003, 12:34 PM

yenno my husband was that very same way. in his mind he thought women thought men were dorks or weird or what have ya if they made noise. i just brought it up to him one day and he was shocked that we women do like that men make noise. now im sure there are women who dont like that...im not one of em tho. id just ask him if he like what ur doing etc. it could very well be that since it was your first time having sex together that maybe he was nervous or too shy to let himself go completely. so id either give it time until u are completely comfortable with each other in the sense theres no hesitation to totally let go or just perhaps mention it to him. good luck!

Gine2D · 09-06-2003, 02:11 PM

I do not talk, but do make pleasureable noises.

I have read that some guys like to use profanity & vulgar remarks while making love. This would be gross in my way of thinking. That is sex, not love.

G

Magnetic · 09-06-2003, 02:46 PM

Some men are a little embarassed to make sounds. Some are simply quiet - they may be focusing on the feelings and making sounds takes away from that. Others can be very loud. I agree - mention it to him sometime. At the least, there should be a few grunts and groans. Still, this is a first-time for you both and he may need some time to get comfortable with getting emotional.

Audrey-B · 09-06-2003, 10:03 PM

Possibly b/c it was your first time together he didn't want to make you feel as though he were going overboard. Maybe next time he will make a little noise. Not everybody likes a noise maker or talker during sex. Everybody likes or is comfortable with something different. I personally like noise and some erotic language and don't like to feel as though i'm with a corpse.

After being with him a few times and he still is silent and it bothers you, then you should let him know. Maybe he has always been a silent love maker and it can actually be difficult getting somebody to change. It's kind of like getting a person who isn't comfortable using erotic or sexy language in bed to actually do that. They may do it, but only to please you and then it comes across kind of forced and not from the heart. I find if somebody can't do something naturally and have to force it, then they'd be best not doing it at all.