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Old 10-25-2003, 01:16 PM   #1
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hi, my girlfriend and i want to have sex, we are both virgins, and when we try it wont go in and she says it hurts, she gets wet, i've tried lubricant, still wont work, i tried putting my pinky in her and it'll go in somewhat and then she'll say it hurts or it's uncomfortable, any tips?

 
Old 10-25-2003, 01:50 PM   #2
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It's going to hurt. No way around it. If she's not ready for the pain, she's not ready for sex.
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Old 10-25-2003, 01:50 PM   #3
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There is no getting around the pain. You are just going to have to take it easy. She may be scared and tensing up and creating more pain. If the pinky hurts then either you've got a really big pinky finger(doubtful) or she is just scared and says that to make you back off. Does she use tampons?

 
Old 10-25-2003, 01:51 PM   #4
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hey, it's gonna hurt the first time but if i remember correctly the first time i did it, way back when, my girl sat on top and just slid down, you know let her do control it. there will be some blood but don't worry.and remember use a rubber.... have fun !!!!!!!!!

 
Old 10-25-2003, 04:29 PM   #5
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she's probably just tensing up even if she doesn't realise she's doing. If she's comfortable with the idea maybe you could buy her a vibrator so that she can control how far she goes, much easier to relax if you're in control of what you do. Then when she gets more used to the feeling of having something inserted you can try having sex again.

just make sure she's comfortable, don't try to convince her to do anything she doesn't want to.

good luck.

 
Old 10-25-2003, 08:15 PM   #6
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no, she doesnt use tampons

 
Old 10-26-2003, 03:16 AM   #7
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possibly also she has vaginismus - look it up - its an involuntary clenching of the muscles around that area, occasionally also women have an extra strong hymen and this can even need a surgical cut through it - quite a minor thing I think with a local anaesthetic - doctor will advise - good luck !
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Old 10-26-2003, 02:31 PM   #8
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Dude are you using condoms if you can find a condom with extra Lube inside and outside it might help i know some of the Trojan products are really lubed up. go for as much foreplay as you can get her going and be gentle and easy half inch at a time let her get used to it and insert more.

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Old 10-26-2003, 05:18 PM   #9
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Be gentle, use a condom with lots of water based lubricant, take your time. If your g/f is still in pain I'd suggest she talk to her gyno. It could be that she has a very inelastic hymen which is causing her the pain when you try to penetrate.

If needed, her gyno can perform a minor surgical procedure under a local anestheic to open the hymen so that she wont experience pain when you penetrate her.

 
Old 10-28-2003, 12:21 AM   #10
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Female perspective, as my UN is ambiguous.....

All good advice so far. Go slow & make sure she's really comfortable with sex. I don't know your ages & it's probably not advisable to post them here, but especially with younger girls, sometimes they "want to" just to please a guy. Just make sure she knows she doesn't have to have sex. That alone can be a huge help.

Other than that, as frustrating as it can be for both of you, sometimes a gradual thing over time is good, sometimes diving right in is better, it depends on the people involved. Try to be patient & realize that this will change both of your lives. I'm sure neither of you wants this to be unpleasant for the other. Be gentle & understanding & realize that you're both individuals, what works for your friends might not work for you & figuring out what does work is half the fun.

I'd also like to add..... no matter whether it's just painful, or painful turning into pleasure, there will never be another 1st time, nothing will ever feel like that again. It's important to slow down & take in the whole experience & not just hurry through it just to get it over with.

For me personally, it was not wholly painful, but it was painful right at first. I don't know if this is the standard, but I think that if it is much too painful to continue, she should probably see a doctor & be evaluated, just in case.

I wish you both luck & an enjoyable experience.
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