It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - General Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-22-2003, 07:46 AM   #1
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 533
mouse62 HB User
Red face LOL Line Drawn Between Relationship and Sex

I posted this topic on the relationship board and it was DELETED because it was considered SEXUAL. I was sitting there like, what do they think a relationship with significant other is, do you really think you can draw a line between emotional and sexual?

Anyway, the question was, any adult males or females sexually attracted to teenagers? Or is that too naughty to post. I am NOT, I'm 41 and the youngest I have found attractive is a 26 yr old I worked with. But it is very public that grown men are talking about not-full-grown girls like Amanda Bynes as if they are sexually turned on by her. I'm thinking of two male radio hosts in my city who are in their 30s and 40s. I'd say that is pretty perverted but evidently no one thinks so enough to speak out against it. I can look at a gorgeous teen boy and see he is good looking but there will be no sexual juices running if you know what I mean. Please be honest. Is this a difference between men and women? I really want to know: even if you would never in a million years act on the sexual urges, are there any sexual urges? Also I made it clear not to include teens who are precociously mature for their ages -- that's forgiveable, someone who looks in late 20s and is actually still a minor passing herself as someone older.

 
Old 10-22-2003, 09:41 AM   #2
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
HoosierBj HB User
Post

Quote:
Originally posted by mouse62:
Anyway, the question was, any adult males or females sexually attracted to teenagers? I really want to know: even if you would never in a million years act on the sexual urges, are there any sexual urges?
I'm familiar with the post on the Relationship Board about the woman's husband. I guess I would be horrified if my husband was leering at a child/young girl/teen in a sexual way. I'm not saying I'm not fully aware of how teenagers dress, and that men may look. But leer? Sexually desire? That's too close to pedophilia in my range of what is "normal" sexual behavior in a heterosexual grown-up...



 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-22-2003, 10:48 AM   #3
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 43
austin4 HB User
Post

A couple of questions mouse. What relationship board...have seen this referred to and don't see a particular board that name; are you talking about the relationship issues board? just curious.
Are you male or female? How young a teen?
If you are talking about age gap relationships not weird at all . There are several wonderful sites that deal w/ the issues of age gap relationships -- a twenty year span is not unusual. If you are talking a mature man after a 16 year old... entirely different issue. If this is about radio personalities in your town, must wonder why you don't address them directly. just saying.

 
Old 10-22-2003, 11:10 AM   #4
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 533
mouse62 HB User
Post

Yes I was talking about the relationships issues board. I'm a female, and I'm not talking about big age differences between adults. Like I said I am with someone my own age (41), but I found this 26-yr-old I worked with very sexually attractive, and, before him, it was a 50-yr-old (when I was in my late 30s.) Obvious attraction, my heart would race and butterflies in stomach thing. And dreams about them which I won't detail here out of embarassment. Obviously I can go several years older or younger.

But I see grown men looking at not-yet-mature highschool age girls. Guys in 30s, 40s, and 50s whistling and making comments to teens walking down the street who are just starting to develop. Can a man find that more sexually attractive than a beautiful mature woman his own age or older . . . and also the same question to women, remember the case of the teacher in her 30s having sex with young (13 yr old) boy, struck me as bizarre, he was cute but not in a sexual way to me -- but are there adult women out there who have sexual feelings for teenage boys?

As for the radio talk guys, they are beneath dealing with, first thing they said when Arnold Schwarzenegger announced his candidacy was that he would start concentration camps; I'm of Austrian descent myself and I was like, you guys are f------ng a---oles. You can say Arnold might not be a good politician but don't start with the ethnic crap -- but that's just one example, those guys are idiots; well, maybe you are right and I should write something to the station manager.

[This message has been edited by mouse62 (edited 10-22-2003).]

 
Old 10-22-2003, 12:36 PM   #5
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 78
imbythewater HB User
Post

It's not natural to be sexually attracted to a very young person. It seems quite odd to me for someone to be sexually attracted to a kid(and 13 is still a kid) because I am attracted to very built grown women(I'm a guy). Here in the usa legal age is 18, but in many countries legal age is 16 because I guess they feel physically much of their developing is done. I think the view in the united states for making it 18 is that even though physically 16 can be developed, psychologically there is still a lot of growing up to do. That's why you will see a grown man look at a 16 year old female cheerleader at a football game if she looks like she is fully developed physically. But it can land him in prison in the united states to get intimate with her though it's ok I think in many countries.
I don't think it's wield if as a female you find older teenage guys physically attractive. 18 and 19 year old guys are probably physically grown I think. I don't think most 16 and 17 year old guys are through growing yet and even if some of them look it they are just as illegal for a woman to mess with as a 16 year old female is for a man to mess with. Visually, so long as you aren't talking about younger teenage guys because they are clearly not physically grown yet and therefore it's not natural for a grown adult to see them as attractive in a sexual way.


[This message has been edited by imbythewater (edited 10-22-2003).]

[This message has been edited by imbythewater (edited 10-22-2003).]

[This message has been edited by imbythewater (edited 10-22-2003).]

[This message has been edited by imbythewater (edited 10-22-2003).]

 
Old 10-22-2003, 02:06 PM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: bristol uk
Posts: 95
thoyts HB User
Post

good question,
ugh no!!!! I wouldn't want to shag a teenage boy. I agree they can be rather beautiful to look at, but it's not sexual. it's aesthetic.
I'mm 33 and i think 26/7 would be about the youngest I'd go for.

I agree also that age gaps between adults are pretty much irrelevant. once you are over about 25 i don't think you change much.
__________________
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning. (stevie smith)

 
Old 10-22-2003, 04:08 PM   #7
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035
HoosierBj HB User
Post

Quote:
Originally posted by mouse62:
. . . and also the same question to women, remember the case of the teacher in her 30s having sex with young (13 yr old) boy, struck me as bizarre, he was cute but not in a sexual way to me --
Mary Kay Letourneau, the teacher you mentioned, was prescribed Deprakote in prison.
Deprakote is a mood stabilizing drug usually used in mental illnesses such as Bipolar Disorder.

Sexual desire by an adult towards a child just isn't the norm.


 
Old 10-22-2003, 06:42 PM   #8
Inactive
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 241
ilaugh@myself.why HB User
Post

well.. i'm 19.. i've been attracted to younger women (15) and also older women (30)..
and yes, a sexual attraction.. no, i wouldn't act on it.. but when someone is beautiful and sexy, i notice.. doesn't matter how young/old they are..
but for a relationship i wouldn't be attracted to someone who isn't closer to my age.. i'd want to be with someone going thru similar life experiences, y'know?

as far as the attraction goes.. you've gotta be ignorant to mankind's history to say it's not natural.. these morals and laws were relatively rare up until generally recent times..

in alot of countries somewhat untouched by modernization, women are married between 12-14 and bare children soon after.. that's how it's been for thousands and thousands of years.. so yes, it's natural..

*waits to catch heck*

-Ryan

[This message has been edited by ilaugh@myself.why (edited 10-22-2003).]

 
Old 10-22-2003, 11:11 PM   #9
FMY FMY is offline
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 117
FMY HB User
Post

I personally am a female-27 years old. I am married, but as far as attraction goes, I can't think of any younger guys that I have looked at as really being attractive. None-the-lees a teenage boy even if he was 19. I still think of 19 as a child. I can remember 19 year old BOYS, and they sure don't act like adults- as a whole.

 
Old 10-23-2003, 06:33 AM   #10
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 533
mouse62 HB User
Post

Yes I have to respond to "I laugh at myself" . . .it is true, I looked at some of my own Pennsylvania Dutch ancestors and saw that the girls were married off at ages 12, 13 . . . but, medical statistics show that it is NOT naturally optimal for girls to be having sex in those years -- misacarriages and other unhealthy pregnancies dominate until woman is physically mature, age 17 or older. I therefore question the motivation behind the whole history of these young girls being forced into childbearing at a young age, might have had more to do with desperate need for reproducing the clan or something rather than men lusting over them.

Also, because you are only 19, I would excuse you from looking at high school girls!!! I'm really interested in men who are in late 20s and older, doesn;t their attraction shift to more mature women?

PS I realize it may be a mael/female difference, and it makes me sad that I feel more beautiful than ever at age 40 but that men don't seem to see it that way. But, if it's natural for guys to feel attraction for 14 & 15 yr olds (&, can you go younger?), then how can we call it a perversion? P

PPS from the responses here, obviously some men are NOT attracted to females until they are fully developed (see all of the responses).

[This message has been edited by mouse62 (edited 10-23-2003).]

 
Old 10-23-2003, 07:53 AM   #11
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NYC, USA
Posts: 144
jamie17 HB User
Post

This is an interesting thread.
When you look at a fashion magazines, often they have models who are, in fact, 15 or 16 or 17 years old, made up to look as though they are 30 years old, and using their sexual attractiveness to sell clothes or some product. Even if a very mature, developed-looking 15-year old girl is made up to look 30, there is still something so very young and childlike about her --- it's almost as though we are being told that an incredibly young girl, made up like an adult, is the way "normal" sexually attractive females should look. We see images like this every day, and I think we are (perhaps inadvertently)being "trained" to think of adolescent girls as sexually viable and attractive. Remember when Britney first came out, with that song, "Hit Me Baby One More Time", and how in the video she was dressed as a slutty schoolgirl? (Never mind the double meaning of the lyrics....) Here she was being blatantly portrayed as a sexual vixen, and yet at the same time as someone who was clearly underage. We were SUPPOSED to look at that video and think, "wow, how sexy, little dirty schoolgirl", and if you see enough of that kind of thing, eventually 15 doesn't seem so young anymore, and teenage girls being sexual in an adult way starts to seem normal. There are websites celebrating how hot the Olsen twins are --- websites aimed at adults --- and teenage girls regularly take their cues for how to dress and act from these precociously sexual celebrities, not quite realizing, I don't think, that they are actually mimicking adult sexual behavior. In this context, it is easy to understand how adult men can become so used to the idea of female adolescents as sexual, that even the adult males who are not naturally turned on by underage girls, start thinking of teenage girl bodies in the same way as adult female bodies.

With female attraction to teenage boys, I think it is a slightly different thing, because it is just physically harder to make a young boy look like a grown man. Males mature more slowly, and sometimes even guys in their early twenties still look boyish and undeveloped. Also, in our society, a woman is considered most beautiful when she looks (almost too) young and fresh and dependent on someone else (for instance, a man)to guide and protect her (although at the same time she must look provocatively sexual beyond her years)--- qualities which are most evident, or most able to be faked, in young girls. Whereas men are considered most attractive when he is strong and virile and experienced and able to provide for and protect those underneath him (i.e., women and less "alpha" males) --- and these are qualities which men tend to accquire as they get older, and which are hard to fake in very young boys. I know this all sounds very old fashioned and 1950's, but I think, unconciously, they are still very much true. So it is less likely that an adult woman would find a teenage boy appealing, since he does not possess the qualities we are taught to admire in men. There are exceptions: look at Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore --- Ashton is actually in his twenties, but he looks as though he could be in his teens. But he is (one assumes) rich and has power in Hollywood, so he's not your typical teenage boy. And I think as hip-hop, "thug" subculture has become a more popular and prevalent part of our culture, the very young men who play such a large role in those subcultures are increasingly sexualized and thought of as attractive, even if they are still teenagers. But again, they are teenagers acting like adult, hyper-macho men.

I think what is most amazing is how we accept what is taught to us, what we grow up with and what is all around us, and that seems normal and acceptable to us, even if it is teenage girls acting like promiscuous, sophisticated grown women or teenage boys playing at being powerful, brutal and irresponsible grown men. Some one above mentioned that centuries ago, in many cultures around the world, extremely young girls --- 13 and 14 --- were routinely married off and started their lives as young wives and mothers. What do you think the men of those times thought: "uggh, even though it repulses me to look at the girlish body of my 13-year old bride, I must still do my husbandly duty and make love to her" LOL. No, of course not. In those days, that was considered the norm, so I would imagine that 13-year old girls were sexualized and considered grown women, and thought of in a sexual way, just like grown women. Otherwise, how could their communities have continued on? I don't think anything has chabnged in the evolution of man, that we once thought of the very young as sexual and now we don't... it's just that we are socialized differently, today. Or at least we were, at one point, a couple of decades or so ago. Taking a look at the teen idols of today: Britney and Christina and Jessica, et al., one wonders if we are still as a culture sexualizing our adolescents, and accepting it as okay.

 
Old 10-23-2003, 10:52 AM   #12
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 533
mouse62 HB User
Post

SO then what about Heather Locklear, Julianne Moore, Michelle Pfeiffer, Demie Moore, Shania Twain, I think Mary Louise Parker is about 40 -- old duds that no one wants? I'd rather look like Michelle or Julianne than Britney or Christina anyday. The world doesn't make sense anymore. Monroe was at her hottest when she died at 36.

PS I know Meg Ryan is "older" and some guys think she's hot but I think she's headed down the Michael Jackson road of grotesque surgical disfigurement at this point -- OLDER and NATURAL, that's what I want to be, and I don't want my husband being turned on by 13- yr-olds!!!!! (We have a daughter, age 8 now, so he actually is one of the first to want to kill any guy that leers at young teens, I pity the guy who gawks at our daughter in front of him.)

[This message has been edited by mouse62 (edited 10-24-2003).]

 
Old 10-24-2003, 11:44 AM   #13
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 373
JAYB HB User
Post

The dj’s you’re talking about that are lusting after Amanda Bynes could be doing it for shock value. I’m not certain of her age(maybe late teens?), and if so I could understand it more than if they were lusting after a 14 year old. It’s definitely a double standard. If a female dj went on the air lusting after a teen boy you’d hear about it. It is true that a man could find a teen attractive, but a woman wouldn’t find a teen boy too attractive unless you go to extremes like Mary Kay Letourneau.
So to answer your question, yes there is a difference between men and women. If the woman is say 17 but looks older, I can understand the fascination a little, but if she is just a girl made up to look older, no I don’t get it. It’s crossing the line.
When Fred Savage was on “The Wonder Years”, girls and women thought he was cute--not in a sexual way, but then again he wasn’t trying to look older or project an older image.
I find the Heather Locklear and Michelle Pfeiffer types far more attractive than the Britneys or Christinas of the world. Britney and Christina are just too out there with their sexuality, almost forcing it on you. How many times do we have to hear about Christina’s body piercings and Britney’s kiss with Madonna? Don’t get me wrong, they are both beautiful women, but they don’t have that inner beauty that Locklear and Pfeiffer have that comes with maturity, but then again Britney and Christina are quite young and are working a younger audience in an effort to generate record sales. They are the Debbie Gibson and Tiffany of this generation--more sex--less bubble gum image.
When Britney first came on the scene I saw her CD at the store and thought she was a very pretty teenager in a wholesome country looking kind of way. Then more pictures and videos were coming out which were far more graphic. I remember one morning listening to a DJ(not Howard Stern) talk about how hot Britney was, and saying that he felt very disturbed and conflicted about his feelings, since he was a married man in his 40’s. Male listeners called in and some expressed the same sentiment.
Christina, like Britney, was also using the double entendres with “Genie in a Bottle” telling guys to “rub her the right way”. I found it interesting that these two young women who were both on “the Mickey Mouse Club” were presenting themselves in the same way, at the same time, and were both become really successful at it.
They were good girls gone bad and making tons of money too!
When you look at a video of Jonbenet Ramsey strutting around like a Las Vegas showgirl it sends out conflicting messages. I found her adorable, not the least bit sexual, but I can see how many people were disgusted by this and saw her depiction as a pedophile’s dream girl.
The whole Ashton-Demi situation is peculiar in that her daughters are closer to his age than Demi is. Are her daughters hot for this guy who may one day be their stepfather?
Woody Allen had a long term relationship with Mia Farrow and fell for her under age daughter and eventually married her. Woody felt he did nothing wrong because he wasn’t married to Mia, and was not a father figure to her daughter, Soon Yee.
Brooke Shields became an international sex symbol at 13 when she played a prostitute in “Pretty Baby”. How sick is that? Her face was beautiful but she had no figure. She was a girl.
What it all boils down to is we live a youth oriented world. We always have but it’s become more extreme. The media and fashion industry are obsessed with youth and young women, and we in turn become obsessed and play right along with it. It’s gotten out of control too. When I see 10 year old girls wearing t-shirts that say “hottie” or other expressions that are supposed to be cute, I wonder about their parents.

 
Old 10-27-2003, 08:18 AM   #14
Inactive
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 533
mouse62 HB User
Post

Here's a scene -- imagine you are a 40ish hunk and look like Johnny Depp or George Clooney or I think Tom Cruise is in his 40s now. So you are used to getting looked at by women everywhere you go.

One night you are free and single and you go to your favorite hangout where there are lots of attractive women aged 18 to late 40s. But as you go to the bar, you get maybe one or two glances -- and no interest, no double takes, nothing. You check the mirror and it's OK, you still look like you.

Then some really skinny teen boy like that kid from "Malcolm in the Middle" walks in, and half the women are staring and trying to get his attention -- then maybe Justin Timberlake (? LOL, I don't even know who these young kids are anymore) walks in and the OTHER half of the female crowd is eyeing him. YOU, Mr. Depp or Cruise or Clooney lookalike, are STILL ignored.

Wouldn't you think the world had gone mad and run screaming to the mental hospital or something??????? LOL that's why I cracked up when I hit my late 30s and seemed to become invisible.

[This message has been edited by mouse62 (edited 10-27-2003).]

 
Old 10-27-2003, 12:11 PM   #15
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NYC, USA
Posts: 144
jamie17 HB User
Post

Mouse, I feel for you, for real.
There's kind of a joke in the gay community (not that funny, really, since a lot of gay men regard it as truth) that 30 is middle-aged --- you'll see clubs where the door policy is for "25-and-under", or personals ads that will say "no old guys: don't bother if over 25". LOL (weakly) I know what you mean --- at 36, I feel like I am in my prime and really like I have just started hitting my stride, and I'm happy with that. But it still stings a little to realize that to some people, I am already hopelessly over the hill.
I don't think the world has gone crazy, I don't think there's anything wrong with you or George or Michelle or Johnny or Tom or Julianne or me. But we do live in a youth-obsessed culture, like it or not, and "youth" seems to mean "teenage" (or at most, "college-age"). I guess the best we can do is to try and remain as relevant as we can to youth culture, without losing who we are and who we've worked hard to become. If it is any small comfort: there will always be those of us who find the Demis and Michelles, Juliannes, Georges, Toms and Mouses [ ] more attractive than the Britneys, Christinas, Frankies and Justins --- we rock, we know it, and every once in awhile, some kid realizes it, too (paging Ashton?) --- not that we care what the kids think, right?

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
PICC Line advice...PA / DE / MD area smith20 Lyme Disease 11 04-11-2008 05:11 PM
what is a pic line? mawjunction Cancer: Colon 2 03-02-2008 01:01 PM
Picc line questions bigstan Lyme Disease 7 08-16-2007 09:12 AM
Where is the line OCDandO Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 8 05-01-2007 11:17 AM
Jealousy/My relationship is on the line anonymous08 Relationship Health 3 08-14-2006 11:13 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



lenvegas (12), rosequartz (7), writeleft (6), Kszan (5), ladybud (4), Tivo123 (4), Kali333 (4), solofelix (4), captjane (4), Titchou (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1136), MSJayhawk (941), Apollo123 (857), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (773), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (655), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:28 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!