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-   -   My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/sexual-health-general/876754-my-mother-law-saw-us-having-oral-sex-now-hubby-shutting-me-out.html)

JulesQ23 11-05-2011 03:00 PM

My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out
 
My husband's mother was visiting from oversees and staying with us. She left to go visit another family member for several days. In her absence we decided to move our activities outside of the bedroom. In the middle of me performing oral sex on him his mother came in to the house (obviously we did not hear her) and saw way more than any mother should see being done to her son. They had words over it and of course, I was a "tramp" for "doing that". It got real ugly and he asked her to leave. We moved her into a hotel for the rest of her stay. After all was said and done, he was upset and embarrassed. That night he didn't want to talk about it and instead took to having angry, aggressive sex with me.
Now after all is said and done and she is back home, he is having issues with the whole course of events. It has been several weeks and we have not been intimate, which is unusual for us. I understand his embarrassment and I even tried to smooth over her actions and words by saying that it was my fault to initiate this outside the bedroom when we had a guest. I have no issues with the angry sex. I love my husband and am worried about his shutting me out. I have tried to open the lines of communication, have tried initiating sex, have tried to reassure him that things will blow over. I am at wits ends. Given the personal nature of this, I won't speak with my friends about it but I need advice. Ladies, gentlemen any ideas? Thanks.

JanaJ 11-05-2011 03:26 PM

Re: My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out
 
You weren't doing anything wrong at all, either of you. It's your home you're in a married relationship it's normal and natural to be loving with each other. His mother was totally out of order, if you ask me. She should have pretended she hadn't seen anything and carried on as if she hadn't. She was totally in the wrong. I'm not sure if any of this helps, but you need somehow to convince your husband of the above.

slenderella 11-05-2011 04:00 PM

Re: My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out
 
It sounds as if you are doing all you can. It seems that your husband was totally traumatized and it may take awhile before he can get back to himself.
I'm sorry that your mother in law called you a tramp, by the way. You're a grown, married woman, you're "allowed" to do that with your husband!
Have you asked your husband if he thought it would help if you sent your mother in law a note apologizing for what she saw? She doesn't deserve it, but what's more important is getting your husband back to normal.

JulesQ23 11-05-2011 06:19 PM

Re: My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out
 
Thanks, Jana, but right now I think the Irish Catholic guilt is in full swing.

WhenItRains 11-08-2011 06:50 AM

Re: My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out
 
Er,you're a tramp? How on earth did her son get born then?
I wouldn't apologize to her at all.It's not like she walked in and found you giving oral sex to another man.She saw you with your HUSBAND.
She needs to mind her own business and next time call before coming over instead of just showing up.

JulesQ23 11-08-2011 12:42 PM

Re: My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out
 
[QUOTE=WhenItRains;4875930]Er,you're a tramp? How on earth did her son get born then?
I wouldn't apologize to her at all.It's not like she walked in and found you giving oral sex to another man.She saw you with your HUSBAND.
She needs to mind her own business and next time call before coming over instead of just showing up.[/QUOTE]

Thanks! At this point there will be no next time that she shows up without warming. She has not even spoken to him since she returned home. We had to hear from his Pop that she arrived home safely.
I know sometimes we would all like to think that our parents only had sex when they got pregnant ;), but I guess in her case she only allowed her husband to have sex with her 5 times. Yes, there are 5 children.
It is amazing how much this whole thing has sent my hubby into a "state". I'm not sure what else to call it. He is really having issues. If this continues much longer, I am going to suggest counseling. I can not get over how this woman can make a successful man feel inferior in so many ways. It is a wonder that he has accomplished all the things in his life that he has.

rosequartz 11-08-2011 01:55 PM

Re: My mother in law saw us having oral sex and now hubby is shutting me out
 
your mother-in-law owes YOU an apology.....don't even think of apologizing to her.....


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