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-   -   too shy to orgasm :( (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/sexual-health-general/877691-too-shy-orgasm.html)

tralalalala 11-12-2011 09:09 AM

too shy to orgasm :(
 
I started masturbating when I was really young. Like 11. Years before I got my first period (at 16). I know it's abnormal, but at least I know I can "get one."

The big problem is that I'm too shy to orgasm with my boyfriend. We've been together 5 years and we're totally committed to each other. But I feel like I'm terrible in bed (he would never tell me this, but I can kind of tell) because of it. And I get so worried about it that it's just impossible for me to relax enough! It's not because he's not doing it right, and he's being really supportive and telling me to take my time, but it's really starting to stress me out!! I faked it for awhile, but I couldn't keep lying to him and I told him. I'm worried if I can't let him get me to climax, eventually he'll get bored with me.

I recorded it on video once and he watched it. He said it was hot, but I couldn't stop crying I was so embarrassed. I have no idea why. It totally killed his mood and he just hugged me for like an hour and went home.

PLEASE PLEASE give me some tips!

WhenItRains 11-16-2011 03:41 PM

Re: too shy to orgasm :(
 
Well,how old are you now?

The thing is,when you have an orgasm,
you are for the moment letting go of some of your control.That can be really hard to do for some people.You must feel absolutely secure and trust someone to be able to "let go" like that in front of them.Since you have been with your boyfriend such a long time,you should have that level of trust though.And you say you do.

So the only other answer is that you are insecure.You are scared of how you look and feel during sex to the point that you can't relax and have an orgasm.
The question is,why? Do you not feel like you are attractive enough for your boyfriend?
Were you raised in a family that taught you sexuality is somehow dirty? And sex makes you feel guilty?
Are you worried about birth control or getting pregnant?
Sexually abused ever?

Only you know the answers to these things.I'am concerned that you filming yourself having an orgasm has had such a bad effect on you that it has made you cry...
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time.I would say you need to work on your self esteem.And perhaps get some therapy to figure out what is going on with you.

Trevor798 12-06-2011 06:51 PM

Re: too shy to orgasm :(
 
It seems he is very understanding person kind caring about your sadness and about not been able to orgasm. Have you ever told him what you like? if not maybe you should does he tell you what excites him? i tell me girl what i like she tells me so i work on how to do it good and she orgasm's good maybe you need to communcate tell him what you like him 2 do then let him do it and just relax think laid back and it let it happen he's happy 2 do anything for you

Prettyinpink86 12-14-2011 04:48 AM

Re: too shy to orgasm :(
 
I get embarassed about them seeing my face I have to turn it away even though I know it would be a turn on for him so you're not alone there.


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