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Old 11-13-2011, 12:18 PM   #1
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Husband's difficulty with sex

My husband and I have been married for a little over a year now (he is 23 and I'm 25). We were both virgins when we got married and he has had trouble preforming since our wedding night. On our wedding night I bled quite a bit and he couldn't orgasim... since then things have gotten a little better but he can only have sex in the missionary position and sometimes that doesn't even work. If we try any other position he either can't go off, can't keep his penis in (or go in at all), or he can't stay hard.
He has been to a few different doctors and they can't seem to find any physical problems.
It is becoming extremely frustrating (especially because I haven't been able to get much satisfaction out of sex- if he takes time to warm me up or stimulate me he loses his erection)... He assures me that it's not due to a lack of attraction and that there's nothing wrong with me, but I can't help but think there has to be something wrong...
Any suggestions or ideas? I really just want to have enjoyable sex with my husband for once without it ending in frustration for both of us...

 
Old 11-14-2011, 07:53 AM   #2
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Re: Husband's difficulty with sex

He's over-thinking things and putting to much stress on himself to perform. He just needs to learn to relax (with your help). I would suggest some mutual masturbation possibly? While he's stimulating you, consider stimulating him so he maintains his erection.

Do you by chance know if he masturbates quite a bit?

 
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Old 11-16-2011, 03:25 PM   #3
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Re: Husband's difficulty with sex

It takes time to get into the swing of things after you are a virgin...

Please be patient with your husband and give him lots of support.
If he feels any disappointment from you, that will only add to his pressure and make it even harder for him.
What he needs to do is RELAX.You two are old enough,have a few drinks first.
Get yourself worked up for him so he doesn't have to (in the beginning men can find it really hard to do more then one thing at a time during sex.)

Masturbate him or have him masturbate himself some in front of you,and then try having sex.
Or maybe try giving him some oral.


He will get much better with time...
Unfortunately because you are both virgins,neither of you has any experience to draw from to know that.
Just,don't take it personally, and if you have to,masturbate yourself
to take care of you.Don't leave it up to him to be the only one responsible for your pleasure.

 
Old 11-17-2011, 02:10 PM   #4
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Thumbs down Re: Husband's difficulty with sex

Neither my husband nor I were virgins when we got married. There have been and still are times throughout our physical relationship where there have been times when being fully satisfied has been an issue. For a couple this can be very stressful. Stress can be a cause affect performance for either partner, except a guy can't hide it.

Something that my husband and I do just because we enjoy it and the sex afterward is awesome, is do stuff when there is nothing that we can do about it. When we are out to dinner sometimes, I will run my foot up his pants leg or put it in his lap. When he is on a business call, I nibble his ear. We send each other explicit texts. We have these long make out sessions complete with groping but no skin contact. What I find happens is that when we are able to be together sexually, he is more aroused and for some reason he stays harder longer.

I hope this helps, but the best advice I can give you is being patient and supportive and the rest will fall into place.

 
Old 11-30-2011, 05:14 PM   #5
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Re: Husband's difficulty with sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by JulesQ23 View Post
Something that my husband and I do just because we enjoy it and the sex afterward is awesome, is do stuff when there is nothing that we can do about it. When we are out to dinner sometimes, I will run my foot up his pants leg or put it in his lap. When he is on a business call, I nibble his ear. We send each other explicit texts. We have these long make out sessions complete with groping but no skin contact. What I find happens is that when we are able to be together sexually, he is more aroused and for some reason he stays harder longer.
wow..that sounds brilliant,

 
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