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Old 06-28-2012, 04:42 PM   #1
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First time going down, worried now :(

I hope I posted this in the right place. If not I'm sorry!

So it was our 8th date, my gf and I. She is a larger girl, bbw type and I don't know why but I find that incredibly attractive. There is a "limit" on how big I like girls but she's just perfect. I am athletic and muscular but still pretty big. I hit the gym a lot and eat a lot of protein and she eats what she can but not terribly unhealthy, just big portions.

We went camping and started to make out and she texted to me a bunch of times that camping would be "lots of fun. Lots of fun." And I directly asked her if she was thinking about sex and she said yeah so no big deal. I just wanted to be clear on her intentions. I am still a virgin but she said she's had other bfs which really bothers me a lot but everyone has a past right? I am 27 and am still a virgin. She gave hers away when she was 16 and drunk and that is incredibly irresponsible of her and it scares me a lot but I can't change the past. I never told her these feelings. I think she would feel hurt and ashamed and I don't want her to feel that way.

Anyways we make out for an hour and then get naked and make out a lot more. I kiss her all over, take my time and i think I love her but she says it's too soon to say that and that worries me. I go down on her and I've done a little research [i bought a book, sue me] and I think I made her come twice because it was a torrent of thank yous, this is heaven, that was perfect etc and we took breaks in between the two sessions. She didn't ask me about having sex and going down on her was what I wanted to do [I told her that when she said she wanted to go further on the camping trip] so I wasn't feeling sex. Honestly I was too nervous to do that. On one hand I love it that I can please her orally and do it right but on the other hand my ego is boosted too much and I want to keep it in check. I hate the idea that I can look at her and think "I can make you come again and it's easy for me." I never want to think that but my mind wanders anyways. I want to always see her as my gf and not some object of sexualization or pleasure even if it's mostly for her. Does that make any sense? I don't have trouble seeing her as a person or my gf but it's weird you know?

My concern is that I might eventually catch something. I told her I want to be exclusive and I'm not texting, meeting or Facebooking anyone. She told me to do what I want and I told her NO I am not screwing around on you [that's not in my nature. When I like someone I will give them the world literally] and us to be bf/gf. She seemed really reluctant but said she was scared and she did want to be my GF. To me being bf/gf is just that we are exclusive to each other, not that we'll be screwing like rabbits or something. To me it's an emotional commitment. One of the things I don't like about her [beyond her snoring in the tent lol!] is that she never ever tells me how she's feeling, what she's thinking. I always have to ask her. I wish she'd rather talk my ear off then sit there and just hold my hand or something. I want a connection. We started to make out after the 3rd date and it was my first makeout. We went to a drive in theater and it was heaven for me. I guess she loved it too. She kept trying to put my hand under her shirt and then her bra and i just let it rest there but didn't move it. I don't think she's a **** at all but I wonder why she wants to move so fast so soon. To me the 3rd date could be a makeout but nothing heavy. She is a lot more aggressive than I am but without words. I asked her if I could hold her hand. I asked her if I could put my arm around her. She never asks, she just does stuff.

When I went down on her in the tent she was sort of fishy but I guess it was all the time we spent before camping just hanging out and walking, that's how girls smell? I don't mean she doesn't wash but it just sweat down there right? I didn't want to hurt her feelings or anything so i didn't say anything. I'm guessing she knows that already. I mean you could smell the musk, her lubrication smell. It was inside the tent. I don't know. Does any smell mean some sort of disease or yeast infection or something?

It's been 2 days since then and I don't feel sick or have mouth sores but I'm still worried.
And if I wanted to make sure she was clean [we are planning a trip up north around the 4th and I'm guessing more sexy play then too but I don't want to have penetration sex] how would I talk to her about her smell without ******* her off or hurting her feelings?

Thank you

 
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Old 06-28-2012, 07:58 PM   #2
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Re: First time going down, worried now :(

She knows, but she is probably too embarassed to say anything about it and tries to ignore it and act like it's not there. A "fishy" smell isn't a normal smell for a girl down there; it usually means there is an infection or it could be an std. I know you mentioned that she isn't very open with you, but she told you about her first experience although it was a rather distasteful one. Have you maybe asked her when the last time she's been checked is? Try bringing it up by saying before you seriously consider having vaginal intercourse you would just like to take the precautions since it is your first time and you want to keep yourself safe. Some stds do not have very noticeable symptoms so if you have any doubts there are clinics that can do free screenings for stds.

 
Old 07-02-2012, 01:53 AM   #3
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Re: First time going down, worried now :(

I don't think there is a nice way of telling someone their genitals smell.
I doubt it is a STD though.Sounds like bacterial vaginosis...which is just an imbalance of her vaginal bacteria.It can't harm you in any way.

It is really possible though that if she was sweating a lot,that is why she smelled stronger then usual.

In her defense,the AVERAGE age for people to lose their virginity IS age 16...
So there is nothing out of the ordinary about that.It is actually much more uncommon to still be a virgin at age 27.

There is also nothing wrong with her wanting to have sex and I'd hardly call it moving too fast.

 
Old 07-13-2012, 01:36 AM   #4
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Re: First time going down, worried now :(

Honestly, I'd say get yourself tested and end the relationship. If you are a) insecure about someone having previous partners in their late 20s, b) unable to communicate well and c) seeking different things, you probably won't have much of a relationship.

As for her having something because of the smell, it can be caused by many things. Smell changes at different times of the month, as well as hygiene being a factor.

 
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