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Old 06-30-2012, 12:41 PM   #1
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kburt0 HB User
Diminishing Returns

Alright, my wife and I have been very happily married for two years now and while our sex life has never been especially adventurous it has always been pretty healthy. Lately, however, my wife's ability to enjoy sex has really diminished. It seems like the level of sensation for her has plummeted over the past six months or so. Nothing has really changed in our approach to sex, the only difference is that she has a really hard time coming to orgasm.

For a little insight, my wife has only ever been able to come when she is on top. It has always required a great deal of precision for it to work out it seems. For a while we were able to incorporate a vibrator and that helped a lot, but now that doesn't even really work. She doesn't really respond to me giving her oral sex manually attempting to stimulate her.

If anyone has any insight into different positions we could try or products that might help us I would be very grateful. Other than this little hiccup our relationship could not be more perfect and we can't wait to get back on track with sex!

 
Old 07-08-2012, 09:13 PM   #2
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Location: melbourne, vic, australia
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m005e HB User
Re: Diminishing Returns

Quote:
Originally Posted by kburt0 View Post
Alright, my wife and I have been very happily married for two years now and while our sex life has never been especially adventurous it has always been pretty healthy. Lately, however, my wife's ability to enjoy sex has really diminished.
Don't know exactly how bad it is but my partner and I were together for a year before I started to notice it was taking double the time to make her orgasm. Initially she would reach climax within 15-30 mins where as after a year it was taking an hour. We were also making love around four times a day on average, that dropped a lot by the end of the first year down to 1-2 times a day.

I also noticed that we'd be having sex and it would look like she was starting to drift off. At first I started thinking maybe I was too small? But she always stated I actually hurt most of the time because of size. In the end I tried having a conversation with her one day right in the middle of sex and she just started talking like nothing was going on, like we weren't even having sex!

I figured maybe things were going on in her head she couldn't really work out or was self-conscious about or something and decided I would try get her mind off things. Sent her to a thousand dollar day spa for a 6 hour treatment then when she got home spent around an hour in foreplay then made love. During sex I also started talking a bit dirty, focusing her thoughts on sex. After about 5 minutes she reached orgasm and said it was one of the best she's ever had.

I think it really goes back to that whole girls have to have that emotional aspect before the physical one really (REALLY) works.

I basically spent at least 15 minutes these days just teasing her down stairs softly before I even think about trying for sex. Talking seems to be a massive bonus, just telling her I am interested in her, telling her I can't wait to feel it, gets her blood pumping and sooner or later she's grabbing the bed sheets.

Oh also, quickies are awesome. I use a quickie as soon as I get home from work and she ends up frustrated and wants more. By the time I am ready to jump into the sack she's pulling her hair out! Haha.

 
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Old 07-23-2012, 09:49 AM   #3
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NatePanda HB UserNatePanda HB User
Re: Diminishing Returns

Quote:
Originally Posted by m005e View Post
Don't know exactly how bad it is but my partner and I were together for a year before I started to notice it was taking double the time to make her orgasm. Initially she would reach climax within 15-30 mins where as after a year it was taking an hour. We were also making love around four times a day on average, that dropped a lot by the end of the first year down to 1-2 times a day.

I also noticed that we'd be having sex and it would look like she was starting to drift off. At first I started thinking maybe I was too small? But she always stated I actually hurt most of the time because of size. In the end I tried having a conversation with her one day right in the middle of sex and she just started talking like nothing was going on, like we weren't even having sex!

I figured maybe things were going on in her head she couldn't really work out or was self-conscious about or something and decided I would try get her mind off things. Sent her to a thousand dollar day spa for a 6 hour treatment then when she got home spent around an hour in foreplay then made love. During sex I also started talking a bit dirty, focusing her thoughts on sex. After about 5 minutes she reached orgasm and said it was one of the best she's ever had.

I think it really goes back to that whole girls have to have that emotional aspect before the physical one really (REALLY) works.

I basically spent at least 15 minutes these days just teasing her down stairs softly before I even think about trying for sex. Talking seems to be a massive bonus, just telling her I am interested in her, telling her I can't wait to feel it, gets her blood pumping and sooner or later she's grabbing the bed sheets.

Oh also, quickies are awesome. I use a quickie as soon as I get home from work and she ends up frustrated and wants more. By the time I am ready to jump into the sack she's pulling her hair out! Haha.

hot bath, 50 shades of grey book, candles when she comes out... the hotter the female body before sex, the more likely they'll get aroused and come quicker.

 
Old 07-23-2012, 04:10 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 39
AllandNothing HB UserAllandNothing HB User
Re: Diminishing Returns

Did anything change 6 months ago? Even maybe a different brand of birth control pills? Do you have access to affordable healthcare? Even tho you are young, I don't think it would hurt for her to have her hormone levels checked just to be sure nothing else is involved.
My assumption as I read your post is that you are talking about sex 3 or 4 times a week. If it's a lot more often than that, it might just be that she takes longer to reset than some and the more often you engage, the more difficult for her it would be.

 
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