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Old 07-12-2012, 02:26 PM   #1
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i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

Alright, heres the deal! My girl is the world to me, we waited forever to have sex because we want this to work and now that we are, I can't seem to give her an orgasm. Now in the past I have prided myself in being able to give one to anyone I have been with whether is oral, using my fingers or intercourse. But for the only one I believe that actually truly matters I cannot get her there.

I really want to focus on oral, because we both agree she gets closest that way. I know a woman orgasm is mostly if not all mental and I think it plausible a factor in this situation. She always gets to the point of climax(heavy breathing body moves a lot squeezes thighs together, all the signs) but at a certain point she laughs or the clitoral stimulation gets too much and she pushes my head away. At first I thought it was the normal idea of she just hasn't experienced it and she doesn't want to loose control (you know the common things when a woman has this problem). So when she starts to push me away, I refuse and continue to try but she always comes back down without reaching climax.

Now the laughing part I know plays a role as well. If she doesn't push my head away, she always giggles a little bit, which completely breaks her concentration and the moment is gone. I'm sure it feels good but its stopping the orgasm, is this something that can be helped?

We have talked about it as well a few times and she want it as bad as I want to give it to her, and I want nothing more than to be able to make her happy in this way, as I have in every other aspect of her life.

All in all, I just need some advice guys don't know, and I don't have any women I can really talk to about this, I really want/need to make her happy, her satisfaction is my satisfaction. Keep in mind I stimulate both the clitoris and the g-spot to reach even this far.

 
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Old 07-12-2012, 03:27 PM   #2
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

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Originally Posted by panik1119 View Post
She always gets to the point of climax(heavy breathing body moves a lot squeezes thighs together, all the signs) but at a certain point she laughs or the clitoral stimulation gets too much and she pushes my head away.
Now the laughing part I know plays a role as well. If she doesn't push my head away, she always giggles a little bit, which completely breaks her concentration and the moment is gone. I'm sure it feels good but its stopping the orgasm, is this something that can be helped?
are you sure she's not having one? the laughing, and pushing your head away would make me think she did and afterwards it's getting sensitive, that's why she's pushing you away

 
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:18 PM   #3
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

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are you sure she's not having one? the laughing, and pushing your head away would make me think she did and afterwards it's getting sensitive, that's why she's pushing you away
I'm pretty sure, I thought the same thing but she says its much more intense when she does it herself. She she thinks its because she too focused on the amount of effort I am putting out to get her there and it sort of breaks the mood for her, like I have said we have talked about it and she seems to get closer each time but, she says it doesn't compare the what she can do! Thanks for the response if you have anything else I'm all ears!;-)

 
Old 07-13-2012, 07:38 AM   #4
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

all orgasms are not created equal....LOL
they vary in intensity.....wonder if she's having one but doesn't recognize it as such because she's used to a different feeling

 
Old 07-13-2012, 10:21 AM   #5
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

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all orgasms are not created equal....LOL
they vary in intensity.....wonder if she's having one but doesn't recognize it as such because she's used to a different feeling
That is very possible, like I said that's what I thought originally, and it probably is right, but the fact that she says, I think I just had one makes me think she didn't, because in my opinion on this type of thing, you just know if you did!

 
Old 07-14-2012, 08:07 AM   #6
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

I know you are looking for the female opinion but I'll tell you you're not the only one that's had the pull-the-head-away and laugh thing...been there done that, and I've asked the same question you have (sorry no magic solution). "In my experience" it is exactly what she says it is, which is the stimulation just gets to be too much to handle and even though she's close, that pleasure/pain thing becomes too much of the latter and not worth the former. That's what my better half tells me anyways...always with a laugh, its like "ok you gotta stop"...I don't think you can "push through" this either...I've read that some woman actually make a mental decision on whether they are going to have an orgasm before they even start sex...sure they can change their minds, but over-stimulation is definitely a player. By the way I think that's one of the few things the two sexes have in common - most men can't handle direct or prolonged stimulation of the underside of the frenulum, especially after orgasm.

 
Old 07-14-2012, 04:21 PM   #7
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

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I know you are looking for the female opinion but I'll tell you you're not the only one that's had the pull-the-head-away and laugh thing...been there done that, and I've asked the same question you have (sorry no magic solution). "In my experience" it is exactly what she says it is, which is the stimulation just gets to be too much to handle and even though she's close, that pleasure/pain thing becomes too much of the latter and not worth the former. That's what my better half tells me anyways...always with a laugh, its like "ok you gotta stop"...I don't think you can "push through" this either...I've read that some woman actually make a mental decision on whether they are going to have an orgasm before they even start sex...sure they can change their minds, but over-stimulation is definitely a player. By the way I think that's one of the few things the two sexes have in common - most men can't handle direct or prolonged stimulation of the underside of the frenulum, especially after orgasm.
That's kind of what I figured! It sucks though, she means everything and the fact I can't do what I have always been confident in doing is a downer. So she just has to EVENTUALLY get over it?! Has your other half moved past this or is it still an issue?! I don't want to deal with that forever! Her happiness is what I need!

 
Old 07-14-2012, 05:32 PM   #8
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

I'll offer this...when you say "she" just has to get over it, don't you mean both of you? I don't mean to sound sappy, and I don't know where you are in your relationship in terms of long term outlook...but my better half once said after a 4 day sex marathon "look we're in this for the long haul, you don't have to learn everything in one week", meaning we had (and have) the rest of our lives together to grow in a lot of ways (with sex being the fun part). Just because you're running into something different now, in some ways, couldn't that be seen as a challenge? And continuing with my hypocrisy - the fact that she stops and laughs is the coolest thing in the world...it means she is comfortable with you to the point where she can be honest and no kidding tell you when something isn't working. took me a long time to realize that is worth more than any preconceived notion of what i think it takes to please my mate...books, previous experiences/lovers or even this website are really a distraction because the only thing you care about, it seems, is her - which is great. let her tell you what she wants.
as for my better half...we're still working on it. i dwell on it too much, she's ok...i actually consulted a counselor (we have really good insurance) to ask this exact question...the answer was if you're getting what you want and your SO is happy too then forget about the orgasms for awhile and just enjoy the sex.

 
Old 07-14-2012, 06:00 PM   #9
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

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Originally Posted by dadinfl View Post
I'll offer this...when you say "she" just has to get over it, don't you mean both of you? I don't mean to sound sappy, and I don't know where you are in your relationship in terms of long term outlook...but my better half once said after a 4 day sex marathon "look we're in this for the long haul, you don't have to learn everything in one week", meaning we had (and have) the rest of our lives together to grow in a lot of ways (with sex being the fun part). Just because you're running into something different now, in some ways, couldn't that be seen as a challenge? And continuing with my hypocrisy - the fact that she stops and laughs is the coolest thing in the world...it means she is comfortable with you to the point where she can be honest and no kidding tell you when something isn't working. took me a long time to realize that is worth more than any preconceived notion of what i think it takes to please my mate...books, previous experiences/lovers or even this website are really a distraction because the only thing you care about, it seems, is her - which is great. let her tell you what she wants.
as for my better half...we're still working on it. i dwell on it too much, she's ok...i actually consulted a counselor (we have really good insurance) to ask this exact question...the answer was if you're getting what you want and your SO is happy too then forget about the orgasms for awhile and just enjoy the sex.
I mispoke! Haha, not I completely agree with you, its our problem, if you want to call it that, I don't consider it a problem, and yes I love a good challenge, and she knows it, and like your girl, mine is not worried either! She says if anyone can I can, and I'm not really worried about it, I just like to know everything I can know to makeit better for her! And she knows I like a challenge as well! And we have a lot still to learn, but I have never thought about it as she trusts me enough to be honest with me on it! That's a good way to look at it, I knew she trusted me, but I didn't put it into perspective with this! You seem as oriented to your girl as much as I am to mine, so I'm glad you understand what I'm saying, a bit of advice though, and this is not to be taken the wrong way, its not intended that way, but I would refrain from using "better half" at least to her, she women might rule the world, but we cannot let them know! Haha

 
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Old 08-25-2012, 05:35 PM   #10
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

Try giving her oral sex doggie style, she can't push your head away! I think she laughs cause she is about to have an orgasm and maybe gets embarrassed. She needs to just relax and let her body go.

 
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Old 08-28-2012, 05:00 AM   #11
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

I'd suggest being more gentle.
I'm not saying you're rough with her but being a woman I know that sometimes men can get a little too rough and carried away down there without necessarily realizing it.
Some women might like it but, for example, personally I hate any kind of sucking. Also, sometimes direct clitoral stimulation might be too much to handle. Why don't you try stimulating her through a pair of thin underwear? Over stimulation gets really painful so being gentle is a must especially since she's showing obvious signs that it is becoming painful (pushing your head away).
Also, if she says that she can make herself orgasm you can always ask her to show you how she does it. That way you'll know what works for her.

 
Old 08-28-2012, 07:42 AM   #12
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Re: i want to make her orgasm, but... any advice ladies?

How about finding out what she does when she has an orgasm herself? Then let her participate, either with her own clitoral stimulation or a vibrator. It is easier for a female to have an orgasm lying on abdomen or any clitoris-down position, as gravity increases the blood flow, so the "doggie" position for intercourse may help. She also will have less self conciousness facing away from you if she is having performance anxiety with you watching her face waiting for it to happen. If she doesn't have a vibrator, that may be a good surprise gift, as some women just need more help than others with intercourse plus intense clitoral stimulation. You will enjoy it too, because you won't have to work so hard at pleasing her.

 
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