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Old 07-23-2012, 10:22 AM   #1
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I just don't know what's normal.

How many of you are in long term relationships, 2 years or more, still love each other and are attractive but don't have as much sex as you did a year ago?

It's taken me a long time to realise my boyfriends low libido isn't about his attraction for me but sometimes the fact that we can go two-three weeks without batting a eyelid at having sex can make me feel uncomfortable.

I have an abusive childhood sexually and then a lot of my past relationships were very sex based. My currently relationship is amazing compared to my ex's but the lack of sex bothers me to an extent.

Then there's me, the past year my libido has shot down to basically nothing, a month ago I started having panic attacks again which my boyfriend thinks is affecting my libido.

Basically I'm new to 'healthy' normal relationships so I don't know if theres a problem or not or if I'm just worrying unnecessary.

 
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Old 07-26-2012, 08:07 AM   #2
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Re: I just don't know whats normal.

Normal is what is normal for you! Many people do just fine with sex every day and many just once a month. As long as one party isn't begging for more and not getting satisfied, there is no problem. I think you are over thinking it.

 
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Old 07-26-2012, 02:29 PM   #3
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Re: I just don't know whats normal.

Nate I have been married 13 years. The honest answer is that people go through spells or more and less sexual activity. It is normal, and stressing about it is just going to make things worse.

DH and I go through spells where we cannot keep our hands off of each other and other times it may be once or twice a month.

Relax and don't worry.
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Old 07-26-2012, 02:55 PM   #4
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Re: I just don't know whats normal.

Thank you for both your answers. As I said I'm new to healthy relationships and my bf was a virgin to sex and relationships before me but said this is what he expected, e.g its normal to him but I've always connected sex with how much you want someone,its hard to shake the thoughts but I'm getting better at it though lol

 
Old 07-27-2012, 06:14 PM   #5
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Re: I just don't know whats normal.

Sex doesn't have to happen spontaneously. You can urge it along. Try being sexy with him, touching him in suggestive ways and so forth. Make it fun and playful. A low libido can mind its own business if you leave it alone, but it might demand attention if you keep stimulating it.

 
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