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Old 07-30-2012, 12:22 PM   #1
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Sexually Unhappy

My boyfriend has little to zero sex drive. We've been together for almost a year now. When we just got together his sex drive was good. About the same time I moved in with him, he was diagnosed bipolar 2 and has started taking medication for it. I think that the pills has affected his sex drive tremendously. I have been understanding but it does frustrates me when I talk about this problem he does not want to talk about it. I do love him and I think I'd feel better if only he works with me figure things out to make this relationship work but I'm really becoming unhappy with this situation. I don't know what to do anymore, it has affected my self esteem. I've thought of leaving but because I do love him I'm having a hard time doing so. Sorry for the vent. I don't mean to sound like all I want is sex but I do need it. It's hard to be in a relationship when you can't even get that basic need from your boyfriend. The last time we had sex was almost 6 months ago. I'd appreciate any thoughts...

 
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Old 07-31-2012, 02:55 AM   #2
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Re: Sexually Unhappy

Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't want to listen, tell him he has to - or you're leaving.

It's unfortunate, but it's unlikely he'll get off his medication any time soon. So if you want a solution with him, he will have to compromise.

You could tell him you want him to perform his duty to you every so often. Viagra and/or penis rings might help if he has trouble keeping an erection.

Obviously it won't be as spontaneous or passionate as it used to be, but maybe it's a workable solution.


Alternatively, he could get off his medication.
Bipolar disorders can be treated with other kinds of therapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, psychoanalysis, social rhythm therapy, interpersonal therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, music therapy, psychoeducation, light therapy, and family-focused therapy.

Relapse can still occur, even with continued medication and therapy.

One of the most important things is to have a strong support system that cares even during bad times.

*

You could also break it off and find someone else, but if you really love the guy and just need sexual release, you could consider getting some sex toys. There are some that are extremely effective at pleasing women. You could even involve him with it or have him use some on you, if he's interested.

Is he intimate with you aside from sexual intimacy? Does he hug you, get close to you and so on? If so, it might make it easier to accept, but of course it's a highly personal thing.

*

Almost forgot... Do you get sexy with him? Until you've tried, you should forget everything I mentioned above. You might have to take charge of your sex life. Try to initiate things, like touching or grabbing a certain thing while being playful. If you can do it in a naughty way, that can help. It's all about building arousal in him. No need to beat around the bush

Good luck!

 
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Old 07-31-2012, 03:25 PM   #3
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Re: Sexually Unhappy

I agree with wachix. I also believe it's the medication he's currently on. He's probably really down about it and that's why he avoids the situation by not talking to you about it. I'm sure it's hard for him to swallow and maybe it's not him not WANTING to have sex but maybe it's about him not being able to.

Just to add, I was on librax pills that my gastro prescribed. Every time I took a pill my whole mood changed. I was sleepy, moody, depressed and even suicidal. My sex drive had completely went downhill. Even when I was ovulating I wanted nothing to do with sex. My dh would be talking to me and I'd be falling asleep which is one thing I hate..when people are talking and one falls asleep. So you know it wasn't done on purpose. Once I stopped taking the pills everything went back to normal.

Last edited by Chrissy26; 07-31-2012 at 03:27 PM.

 
Old 07-31-2012, 03:35 PM   #4
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Re: Sexually Unhappy

he's bi-polar, his lack of sex drive should be the least of your worries......

 
Old 07-31-2012, 03:37 PM   #5
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Re: Sexually Unhappy

I understand what you and him are going throw I also having trouble with this and I love sex and very sexaul person. But i take meds thAt will not let me do the deed. so that lowers my self esstem. I dont know it has ruin my partners cause they ask what wrong with me and all i can say it not you it me and they dont understand that so they leave or break up
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