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Old 08-11-2012, 09:08 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4
virginia23 HB User
Sexless marriage

So maybe it's not completely "sexless", but my husband & I have only had sex 4 times since 3-24-12 and today is now 8-11-12. Who's counting, huh? I mean, is this normal to only have sex a few times in 5 months?? We've only been married 2.5 years. No kids yet, just some pets. It's discouraging. I don't want to have an affair, but what else am I to do? I need physical attention and a connection with a man. It'd be nice if he'd at least sleep in the same bed with me! I don't know. A man I used to be involved with in my 20s has started instant messaging. We might meet up for a drink. He's married with 2 kids, but he is the one asking to meet up with me for a drink. I really don't want to ruin my marriage and all, but I'm a woman with needs! I just think it's sad is all. Before we got married, he said we didn't have sex too much bcuz he wanted to respect me, etc... I told him that he's like the firsts guy that could actually sleep the whole night next to me without groping me! He said that was bcuz he's not a douche like the others I dated. But, now we are married and he still doesn't grope me or anything! I just wanna be groped by my husband!!

 
Old 08-17-2012, 08:37 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: oklahoma,ok, usa
Posts: 11
blue4life HB User
Re: Sexless marriage

Hello
Sorry to hear your story. My 2 cent advice in this case is based on observation. If you are not having sex with your husband and you want it with him, you alone have to make effort to initiate sex with him and see what happen. some men get tired of having to do all work. the other thing is, do you touch him and return the favor as he does? If a man constantly give all the time and the woman does do so in return, it bored most men. I hope you guys are free to talk about any issue together cus if there are topics you dont like to hear and he wants to talk, this can push you guys apart and he might be thinking you are not compatible. Be willing to understand is favorite sex act and share yours with him to have a common ground.
As per the guy asking you out for a drink, just know that he is bored out of his mind in his marriage too and he need an outlet to get the missing emotion that he is not getting at home. Two of you can have some strong and dangerous emotional connection in an exciting way, just be-careful in your approach. Remember having someone to talk to about things on your mind is the best solution and you can do that your husband if he has not recent you yet.
Not having sex the way you want to is a big frustration and i know you are frustrated about this, since you guys dont have kid yet, you can get out and next time you enter into another be sure the person can perform to your expectation, dont have kid with your husband if your sex life differs.
Always know this an idle mind is a devils works shop. Call him out on things is not doing and i am sure he too we have something to say about you.

 
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Old 08-19-2012, 08:21 PM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 109
miss345 HB User
Re: Sexless marriage

Your first indication of his libido came earlier in your relationship....This, to me, was a well posted red light...How old are the two of you?...Why is he sleeping in another bedroom?........

As far as your old friend, forget it...He is looking for one thing only....Sure you need sex, but not that way...If and when that happens, don't do it as a married woman...Set yourself free and stay with the single sect...

Now about your husband...Is he into any Porn or self gratification?...Or any other questionable relationships...If the answer is no to both of these, I would say that the two of you need some sexual counseling or some intimate talks...Take care...ILD...

 
Old 08-24-2012, 04:21 PM   #4
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 13
Manonedge HB User
Re: Sexless marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by virginia23 View Post
So maybe it's not completely "sexless", but my husband & I have only had sex 4 times since 3-24-12 and today is now 8-11-12. Who's counting, huh? I mean, is this normal to only have sex a few times in 5 months?? We've only been married 2.5 years. No kids yet, just some pets. It's discouraging. I don't want to have an affair, but what else am I to do? I need physical attention and a connection with a man. It'd be nice if he'd at least sleep in the same bed with me! I don't know. A man I used to be involved with in my 20s has started instant messaging. We might meet up for a drink. He's married with 2 kids, but he is the one asking to meet up with me for a drink. I really don't want to ruin my marriage and all, but I'm a woman with needs! I just think it's sad is all. Before we got married, he said we didn't have sex too much bcuz he wanted to respect me, etc... I told him that he's like the firsts guy that could actually sleep the whole night next to me without groping me! He said that was bcuz he's not a douche like the others I dated. But, now we are married and he still doesn't grope me or anything! I just wanna be groped by my husband!!

Sounds like married a gay guy, get a divorce and move on with your life.

 
Old 09-29-2013, 12:28 PM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 14
slimmerbytheday HB User
Re: Sexless marriage

May sound heartless but have an affair. Use protection and be discreet but after 30 years of marriage and countless encounters with men other than my husband, a therapist told me that these men were "supplements" to what I had with my husband. I never wanted to divorce, but needed more than my husband was able to give emotionally or physically. And never tell your husband about it. It would just be cruel.

 
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