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Old 08-24-2012, 04:27 PM   #1
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Don't want to leave wife, but want a sex life

I am thinking about staying in the household, but my wife has lots of health issues, lacks intimacey and desire. W've been together for around 17 years now. I just want someone ot have fun with, who also enjoys having sex to. I understand she has health issue, and I certainly don't want to leave her high and dry, and we have a young child, but for christ sake, I want to have a real partner.

Is this selfish ? I've tried talking to her about it, we even agree, she has little to no sex drive, and its not a choice shes making, its the side effects of many medications she is taking for a multi organ transplant. I don;t mind being the dutiful husband, but for christ sake I;d like to have sex with my wife once in a while and 1-2 a month just ain;t cutting it. Theres only so much you can masturbate before you just need the companionship of women.

I geuss I want to move on emotionally, but I just don;t want to abondon her. I dunno what the right thing is to do. I am certainly not happy.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-24-2012 at 05:37 PM. Reason: Vulgar language is not allowed.

 
Old 08-24-2012, 05:04 PM   #2
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Re: Don't want to leave wife, but want a sex life

Things aren't always the best they can be in a marriage, and you're finding that out now. I'm sure your wife would love to be making love to you too, but apparently she's had a rough time of it and has to take meds to maintain some balance of life. You didn't mention how the rest of the marriage is out of the bedroom. It sounds like she's trying with the 1-2 a month, which is more than some on this forum are getting, but unable to give you exactly what your desiring at this time. Selfish, yes somewhat, but everyone needs sexual contact. Difficult, yes, but no one said it was going to be a fairy tale until the day you died, and if you thought it was you were seriously kidding yourself! Seventeen years huh, i'll bet it wasn't bad the first sisixteen, and you have a child. You need to think this through, and yes I would get some counseling from a competent source before i'd throw away 17+ years. Your child is depending on you, and your wife needs your attention, and approval, to get through this rough time. Seriously, give this a lot of consideration, and look at if from every(ones) perspective. I think you are going through a rough time and I wish you, and your family, the best.

 
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Old 08-24-2012, 05:56 PM   #3
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Re: Don't want to leave wife, but want a sex life

I'm not sure what to do, we've talked about it a bunch. Her health has degraded to the point where last week, she was walking out to check out her new car I just got her " she needed a new car" and she just smacked the side of her hand on the fender accidently, and it broke 2 bones in her hand.

So I don't think its a willingness issue, we talk about it, she just isn't physically capable, frequently in the bathroom, lots of nuasea, vomiting etc. Her doctors pulled me aside and told me recently to start making plans, for the future.

So, I'm not sure what to do, but shes in what in the elderly are called the dwindles, and its not always a exspress elevator to the bottom. I will care for her till the end, but what about my physical and emotional needs while this thing comes to a close. I understand why why some people with sick wives cheat, but don't leave their spouse. I just don't know if I am ready to have this conversation with her yet.

 
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