I have been fantasying about having sex with two men for as long as I can remember. I have shared this wish with my husband (boyfriend at that time) soon after we started dating. Generally our sex has always been very good. I love him very much. He is quite rational and thinking guy. He didn't refuse my wish but he didn't like it. Nevertheless he said we can try. He always says, he is made about me and that's his only fantasy. Well, I have tried many times to arrange for us to meet another guy, but all attempts ended up badly. It was as if he unconsciously ruined any chance for it to happen. The other guy - of course - always waited for his "OK", which he refused to "notice" - so nothing ever happened. I pushed as hard as I dared, but never achieved anything.
Now we have been married for some years and we are expecting our second child. As in first pregnancy, my libido grew again and I fantasize about MMF intensely. I am pushing everything inside me and trying to look normal. I am fed up with useless conversations with my husband on anything related to threesome, for nothing new ever came up while talking for years now. My arousal became almost constant and I even have a hard time concentrating while working. Any minute alone, I dream about the stories and movies I have seen in past years. I also fantasize about being with my husband and a mutual friend (I couldn't do it with a stranger). Of course non of them know about this desires.
I have tried small steps - like making him fantasize aloud together involving some dirty talking. It ended up really stupid. I have tried watching MMF movies while making love and he wasn't comfortable with it. I have tried many other things - but he is really rigid and nothing seems to work. I stopped trying. The only way of making love with him is very "average and normal" sex and that's not interesting for me at all. I fantasize all the time we make love together and I am miles away in my mind. Gradually I have realized, my orgasms are much better, if his simply not around. I take my time, watch movies, read stories and for short time live out my fantasy through other people's memories or bodies - people who were lucky enough to have chance to make it happen.
Gradually I lost all sexual interest in him. He even repels me sometimes. We make love very rare. The more I am aroused the more I feel distant and lonely. Luckily he has quite a hard time at work and he doesn't seem to notice anything. We are growing apart slowly. Sex has always been one good thing in our marriage, and I believe that it is quite an important part of every marriage. However, now I slowly lost all hope, that my desires could ever be fulfilled with him and I see no sense of even trying to fight my negative emotions for him.
On the other hand, I feel responsible for family and children. I love my husband and we are really good team together. I can't imagine leaving him. We are generally very honest with each other and I can't imagine secretly meeting two other guy ether. I feel cornered and frustrated. I feel and sometimes say to him things I resent. I should actively start to solve this problem but have no idea where to start and what to do. Any feasible tips?
Re: Desire for MMF threesome is ruining my marriage
I can tell you this, I could never sit back and allow another man to have sex with my wife. Would you be willing to allow another woman in the bed with you and your husband?
Is it the MMF that you fantasize about, or is it the "mutual friend"?
Re: Desire for MMF threesome is ruining my marriage
Be very careful what you wish for. Unless you both want this, it would be the death of whatever is left of your marriage. I am sorry that you are so frustrated, but, given that your husband is not willing, you are stuck. In the sixties and seventies, we knew a lot of people who participated in these activities, and many partnerships broke up over it. Many men thought they could handle it, but in reality, virtually no man wants his wife to have sex with another man. Sera
Re: Desire for MMF threesome is ruining my marriage
Some fantasies are best left in the world of fantasy and this is DEFINITELY one of them. Obviously your husband isn't comfortable with the idea and if you force the issue it may indeed permanently damage your marriage. You also must know that it will forever change your - and your husband's relationship with the "mutual friend" you mention.
You should also think long and hard about the impact this could have on your family and reputation, particularly if the mutual friend chooses not to keep it a secret? You are risking your real family for the sake of a fantasy which is a risky thing to do.
Re: Desire for MMF threesome is ruining my marriage
hi-
you sound extremly selfish. it sounds like you have a real good man, but tyou how that saying goes, you dont know what you have until you lose it. Get a gripand stop forcing your fantasy on your hubby when clearly he not into GUYS.
Re: Desire for MMF threesome is ruining my marriage
Thanks everyone for sharing your opinion on my issue. During weekend my husband and I had two very long talks and now everything feels much better. After I confessed here, I felt really guilty about telling millions of people on the internet but not being able to be that honest to tell one person who really loves me. Therefore I collected all energy and.. started talking...
Js1976 >>> "mutual friend" changes during years, therefore my real problem to solve is not that I "fall in love" with a third guy
Seraph and gcsjr >>> Thank you both, that is generally what I am trying to do... I will work on it in the future as well. It's just, that sometimes one fails - but you don't really fail until you start trying.
BB07 >>> You are completely right: my husband is a real good man and I am selfish. That does not help me solving a problem a bit, you know.
Last edited by Administrator; 04-11-2013 at 07:33 PM.
Re: Desire for MMF threesome is ruining my marriage
If this fantasy is something you needed to get out in the open, this is probably a good place to start.
I mentioned the "mutual friend" because it did sound to me that you had fallen in love with someone else.
I have to agree with Seraph in regards to being careful what you wish for. Very few people have the ability to participate in activities such as this, and it could end up ruining your marriage. As much as I would enjoy having another woman in the room, I know my wife could not handle it so I would never try and push the subject.
Last edited by Administrator; 04-11-2013 at 07:36 PM.
Re: Desire for MMF threesome is ruining my marriage
If you love your partner it's best not to because you could get feelings for the other guy and maybe if you do it there could be chance of pregancy if you have unprotected sex with the other guy. So for me it's not good idea.
