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Old 09-09-2012, 10:06 AM   #1
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Masturbation during sex in marriage

My wife and I used to have a pretty good sex life, but over the years with the many stresses of work life and children it gradually declined. We are both 50 and have been married for more than 20 years. The good news is that we have discovered something that has helped quite a bit in recent years. I am sharing this because we are not a prudish couple by any stretch, but still I admit this was a little difficulty for us to get used, even after so many years together. So I think this may help other couples too.

Both of us have gotten much more particular about the ways in which we are stimulated sexually. When we were younger, almost anything seemed to work, but not so anymore. I wonder if having someone else stimulate your genitals is like closing your eyes while driving and having a passenger tell you what to do. There is no way another can know exactly where and how you need to be stimulated, and how this changes as you become aroused. The solution is masturbation.

My wife and I are now used to masturbating (ourselves) when we have sex together. Sometimes one of us will reach orgasm while the other doesn't (this goes both ways). When this happens masturbating is often the best way to "find closure" so we can both go to sleep. One really nice thing about this is that we can reach orgasm together much more easily than by any other means.

Masturbation is taboo for many couples since they take it as a signal that the partner is not really satisfying. For us, sex is about both sexual pleasure and intimacy. Masturbating together can be, once you get used to the idea, just as intimate as intercourse or oral sex, or whatever.

I hope this helps others.

Chris

Last edited by Mod-S4; 09-09-2012 at 04:08 PM. Reason: How-to/TMI removed. Thanks.

 
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