Confused and hurt and in love
So this is my problem. My boyfriend of a year, who i live with has changed in my eyes. Im going to try to explain as much in detail as possible.
First off when we first started going out we would have sex 3 times a day when we would see each other every 2 weeks. Then he moved in and yes it slowed down a bit but still regular. I was about 165lbs at the time and have gained weight since to 185lbs. Also in this time span he has witnessed a dead body, his pet gecko died and now has an ulcer which is on the mend. For 3 months we have not had sex of any kind. he doesn't touch me the same nor does he say i love you as much. I've tried to talk to him about how it makes me feel that he wont have sex with me and all i get are excuses about the listed above. I get it, its traumatic BUT I don't feel special anymore, and don't know what to do. If i bring it up i get excuses he says i make him feel bad and blames me for getting upset about it. So i started a new approach, sending sexy worded texts and such and still nothing. Tried asking his fantasy, he says he doesn't have one. So tonight i asked through text (he was going to work) "if i dressed up sexy and did a sexy dance what would you think" i get back " making the physical effort to improve upon oneself with motivation and determination and continuing to make gains is more sexy then dancing in something sexy. I'm an intellectual remember, i admire personal empowerment in people that set goals and achieve them which you have been doing lately" so i say back "i just wanna get your heart racing" he goes and says that he shouldn't have physical activity, yet he goes to work which is physical. and says that excitement and stress makes his ulcer go all funky. I looked it up and you can have sex with a healing ulcer. I'm so lost as to what i should do. I love him more then anything ever and i'm so hurt and sad and sexually frustrated. I feel that me being heavier and always trying to have sex with him is turning him off and feeling like we aren't or rather I am not right for him anymore. And if i say anything he gets so mad.